long term relationship mistakes

When you’re in a long term relationship, it’s easy to get into a rut. Your way of life becomes monotonous and you may not even realise things are starting to go downhill. Let’s take a look at the most common long term relationship mistakes people make and most importantly, how to avoid them!

1. ‘Time alone? What’s that!?’

It’s one of the most complained about issues by those around you. ‘Do you do anything apart? Is there room for anything or anyone else in your life? What do you talk about?’ Yeah, we’ve all been there!

When your partner first came into your life, they were everything to you. It was fresh and new and maybe, other people didn’t get a look in. Well… it’s time to mix it up! Your friends and family love you and want the best for you. These people were around before your partner and so make sure you’re making time for them, even include them in what you as a couple would do together like a picnic in the park or inviting them over for dinner.

If you do things separately though, it means you’re still your own person with your own life. Don’t completely forget the person you were before Mr or Miss Right!

2. On the flip side, you do nothing together

You’ve got into the habit of spending not a lot of quality time together. You live with each other and hang out in the evenings for an hour or so and the weekends have become time for you guys to go your separate ways.

That is not OK! You need to make sure that you’re keeping it fresh and exciting. Keep up a monthly date night where you go and have dinner or go on a day out somewhere. By keeping everything routine, there’s no fun or excitement anymore. You need to make sure that you are spending time together.

Chances are, if you’re in a long term relationship you have a lot of similar interests so go and get involved in those interests or invest some time in the other person’s interests.

3. Dining in front of the TV, not speaking

This is also common. There is a lack of conversation and interaction apart from to whatever is happening on the screen in front of you. The idea of switching off the TV and having dinner in another room is an alien concept. Well, I strongly recommend it.

Conversation over a dinner is a chance for you both to interact with each other, laugh and chat about your days or what’s going on in the world. It doesn’t matter what you chat about as long as you make sure that at least a couple of times a week, eating together is a priority. This will keep communication open in the relationship which is good for being able to work through those pesky annoyances when they arise.

4. ‘Thank you’ isn’t in your relationship vocabulary

Your partner probably does things for you which you have started to take for granted. The bin always manages to clear itself without you having to lift a finger or dinner is mainly cooked by one of you.

It doesn’t matter how small the task is, it’s always nice to say thank you. Just because you’ve been together for a while, doesn’t mean manners can go out the window. A lack of thank you’s and please’s may also lead to tension building and so causing arguments.

Remember when you first got together and you would be on your best behaviour to impress them? Don’t become lazy and forget that. A two word phrase could mean the difference between a lovely evening together and an argument brewing!

5. Sex has become a boring chore

So you guys have been together for a while and sex in a long term relationship became less exciting. It seems like it’s always the same instigator or position and to be honest, it just needs to be done as a vital part of the relationship.

OK, so why did you initially want to rip their clothes off in the early days? Because you were attracted to them. So maybe you’ve both become quite comfortable and the only six pack in sight are the beers in the fridge. Maybe those love handles have got a little bit more handlier.

Odds are, if you’re counting your relationship as long term the attraction goes further than just skin deep so there are still qualities you find sexy. And sex is a great work out so put the effort in to get the results out. Look and think about new ways to make it exciting. There is so much on the Internet so get out there, research and get creative. It’s the most intimate you can be with someone and if you love them, it’s time to bring the fire back!

Good relationships are hard work. It takes patience, commitment and compromise and it is easy to make those long term relationship mistakes. Yes, Disney and all those film companies lied and it’s not like the fairytales we were promised as kids. But, if you find someone you love and you think it’s worth the sweat and tears needed to make it work, then you’re found the one and that is something pretty special!

Image: flickr

Amanda is a freelance writer from Tunbridge Wells, Kent. As an avid bibliophile and people watcher, she publishes book reviews and relationship articles which are not afraid to broach those difficult issues.


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