You might have felt it for weeks, months, or maybe even years, but you cannot deny it any longer – your relationship just isn’t the same as it used to be. And not in a good way! You have probably spent a good amount of time battling with yourself internally to come to this conclusion. If you’re not crystal clear on whether you’re completely and irrevocably love with them or not, then it’s understandable why you’re so concerned. Allow us to help you realise your true feelings and calm that inner conflict – here are 5 tell tale signs your relationship is ending.
1. You don’t fancy each other anymore
This is one of the biggest signs that you’re on the verge of a break-up. Sex isn’t everything in a relationship. But it’s a very important part of being with someone. Otherwise you might as well just be friends! Perhaps there’s no lust left in your relationship anymore, no desire to have sex, or maybe no sex at all. Can you even remember the last time you had sex? When you don’t fancy each other anymore, sex can feel more like a chore – rather that you should be having sex, even though you don’t necessarily want to. That makes it awkward. This can come as quite a shock, if you’re used to your sex life being on top form. We hate to be the bearer of bad news, but losing that physical, passionate side to the relationship is often the first thing to go before you part ways for good.
2. You spend more time apart
Maybe the sex is still good, but you don’t have it often – and that’s because you spend more time living your own lives outside the relationship. It’s good to have your own hobbies and interests, some may even call it healthy, but you need to have built a strong foundation for a life with your partner. And this involves spending a lot of time together. If you used to spend every day together, but this has been cut down significantly to one day per week, then ask yourself why. Perhaps it was your decision, over theirs, as subconsciously you know you are drifting apart and you are reflecting this in the amount of time you physically see each other. If spending time with family and friends are higher on your list of priorities nowadays than seeing each other – then this is a big warning sign.
3. The time you spend together is strained
Being in their presence used to make you beam with happiness. Now it makes you feel numb or maybe even unhappy. Gone are the days where you used to feel excited about seeing each other. Now you feel like the spark that was once burning bright is dimming or gone completely. The conversation might be completely one-sided, maybe there’s a lack of effort on both sides. Perhaps you’re just sick and tired of talking about how each other’s days have gone. If you’re not overly enthusiastic to share things with each other anymore, the conversation is awkward and isn’t stimulating, the relationship may be ending. This is especially the case if all you do when you’re together is argue. Ask yourself why you’re so irritated by each other? It may be because the love isn’t there anymore and you feel like you’re just stuck with each other.
4. You start to look at other people
When you’re head over heels in love with someone, you wouldn’t even entertain the idea of looking at someone else. It used to make you feel sick and repulsed. But, all of a sudden, you find yourself looking at other people and becoming more and more attracted to them. You’re even thinking of actually acting upon it. Usually you don’t look twice at that cutie on your night out. But you’re finding yourself toying with the idea of forbidden fruit. Or maybe you already have acted upon these urges – perhaps even more than once. If you’re cheating, or being cheated on, it’s usually because there is something fundamentally wrong with the relationship. To prevent one of you cheating because you’re unhappy, you need to communicate your concerns to each other. Cheating is taking the easy way out.
5. You stop seeing a future with your partner
This is the most important tell tale sign that your relationship is ending. If you can’t see a future with your partner anymore, then what’s the point in pursuing it? You used to imagine being together forever and going through all life’s major milestones together. You wanted to live with them, get married to them, or maybe even have their kids. But now, things have changed. That future is looking more and more unlikely. You may have even decided that you absolutely don’t want a future with this person. They’re just good ‘for the time being’. If this is the case, then there’s no point prolonging the inevitable. Save yourself more tears and heartache in the long run. End it now, before it gets any worse, no matter how hard it is.
You’re not the first to be stuck in a dead-end relationship. You certainly won’t be the last. However, it’s what you do about it that matters. Break-ups are tough, but it’s important not to settle, or stay in something that’s making you so desperately unhappy. Everybody deserves to be happy in life, single or not. It’s true that happiness comes from within. But your partner should also add to this happiness. Can you remember the last time you were truly happy in your relationship? If not, then perhaps it’s time to stop ignoring the signs your relationship is ending and call it a day. Just remember that you will both be better off in the long run.