The Go-to Destination for Dating and Relationship Advice

Are you looking to improve your dating life, or maybe you need advice regarding your current relationship? Whatever stage of your love life you are in, you will find it all here. Our community of bloggers is ready to help you! There is no textbook theory here, and the standpoints of our authors may vary, so it is up to you to decide what works for you, and what dating tips or relationship advice you want to use. Dating coaches, psychologists, relationship experts, published authors, and people who have undergone some ups and downs in their love life are here to share their knowledge and insights that will guide you towards a happy and fulfilling relationship.

The Go-to Destination for Dating and Relationship Advice

Are you looking to improve your dating life, or maybe you need advice regarding your current relationship? Whatever stage of your love life, you will find it all here! Our community of bloggers are ready to help you. There is no textbook theory here, and the standpoints of our authors may vary, so it is up to you to decide what works for you, and what dating tips or relationship advice you want to use. Dating coaches, psychologists, relationship experts, published authors, and people who have undergone some ups and downs in their love life are here to share their knowledge and insights that will guide you towards a happy and fulfilling relationship.

array(10) { [0]=> object(WP_Post)#4527 (24) { ["ID"]=> int(8166) ["post_author"]=> string(2) "88" ["post_date"]=> string(19) "2018-08-21 16:54:04" ["post_date_gmt"]=> string(19) "2018-08-21 20:54:04" ["post_content"]=> string(5750) "Navigating the dating scene in your own country can seem tricky at times, but at least you understand the rules of play. But what if you are an avid traveler and you are exposed to totally different cultures and dating customs that you are not even aware of? How do you navigate through international dating waters? There are some surprising and interesting dating rituals that might be useful to know before saying 'hi' to somebody that you've just met so you know what to expect in the future.

Japan: express your feelings with chocolate

Valentine’s Day in Japan is the day when girls give presents for guys and it is usually chocolate. There are two types of chocolate that the woman give: obligation chocolates or "Giri-choco" that are presented to friends, family or people that you care about or love in a non-romantic way. The more special kind of gift is "Honmei-choco" that is given to the guy the girl is romantically interested in or to her partner. These chocolates are usually either fancier or are homemade. Japanese women think it is not true love if they just buy chocolate from the store. Exactly one month after Valentine’s Day, on March 14th, Japanese celebrate the White Day when guys return the favor by gifting chocolate to girls and it is usually white chocolate. The theory is that if the man you gave chocolate also likes you, he’ll give you twice as much back. What a result!

South Korea: make it official

It seems that being in a relationship in South Korea is something most people want to do and share their status with the world. To make it easier, group dates are quite usual and blind dates are frequent. Relationship wins are celebrated, especially by sharing your relationship status on social media. But, perhaps my favorite custom is the practice of wearing matching couple outfits to demonstrate your love. Furthermore, it is normal for Korean couples to get a couple of rings as early as 3 months into the relationship to declare their togetherness. Acting as a married couple is the norm in Korea. There are places called "Dress Cafes" where you can go with your significant other, dress up in a wedding dress and take fake wedding photos that you would obviously share in social media afterward.

Iran: meet the parents

In Iran dating traditions depend on the family that the girl and the guy are born. While there are modern families who allow their children to date, somebody that they like, religious families believe that their children should not have any relationship before marriage. Young people meet each other through introductions of their families. This tradition is called 'Khastegari'. Both families of a couple come together and they spend a few hours talking. If the guy and the girl like each other and both families agree on all the arrangements, bride's family throws a lavish engagement party - 'Namzadi' where the whole community is invited to celebrate this special occasion.

Bali: get your teeth filed

Balinese can't get married unless 'Metatah' is done - teeth filing ceremony performed by a priest - Brahman. The ceremony marks adulthood and usually, it is performed for a few children of the family at once in order to save the costs. It is said to be fairly painless, even though some cloves are usually used to numb the mouth. Balinese believe that tooth filing helps to live in harmony with others and to control evil human characteristics such as greed, lust, anger, jealousy, ill-will, and intoxication by either passion or drunkenness. The ceremony includes a buffet of traditional food, colorful flower offerings to gods and calm wayang music.

Mauritania: the bigger, the better

We are all for celebrating the fuller figure which is magnificent, but in Mauritania, things can be taken even further. It is considered that the larger the figure the better, as a woman's size indicates the amount of space she occupies in her husband's heart. To achieve this ideal there is a practice called 'Leblouh', which is force-feeding girls to make them as big as possible. Older women force young girls to eat copious amounts of food and drink gallons of milk in order to increase their chances of marriage. Even though the government is trying to eradicate this tradition, young girls are still being subjected to Leblouh every day.

Iceland: forget the formalities

Whilst things like nudity and sex may not be discussed in some cultures, liberated Iceland sees these as normal parts of life and nothing to be embarrassed about. Formal dates, like going to a restaurant are the exception, rather than the norm. It’s more natural to meet up over drinks and it is much more casual and relaxed. Anyone can ask anyone out, Icelandic women don’t feel they should wait to be asked or that it is the role of the man. Social media is also a big deal in Iceland and seen as a way of checking out any potential love interest. If you do marry in Iceland, you don’t take on the man’s name as is common elsewhere and it’s been this way for hundreds of years. Seems most straightforward! If dating is proving a bit problematic, thank your lucky stars that you weren’t around a few hundred years ago, when people used to rub their scent all over an apple and give it to the object of their affection. Yep, you heard me, sweaty apples. One way to get the pheromones across I guess! Comment below and let us know if you have experienced any unusual dating customs from around the globe!" ["post_title"]=> string(41) "Different Dating Customs Around the World" ["post_excerpt"]=> string(0) "" ["post_status"]=> string(7) "publish" ["comment_status"]=> string(4) "open" ["ping_status"]=> string(6) "closed" ["post_password"]=> string(0) "" ["post_name"]=> string(41) "different-dating-customs-around-the-world" ["to_ping"]=> string(0) "" ["pinged"]=> string(0) "" ["post_modified"]=> string(19) "2019-05-07 20:44:14" ["post_modified_gmt"]=> string(19) "2019-05-08 00:44:14" ["post_content_filtered"]=> string(0) "" ["post_parent"]=> int(0) ["guid"]=> string(30) "https://www.godates.co/?p=8166" ["menu_order"]=> int(0) ["post_type"]=> string(4) "post" ["post_mime_type"]=> string(0) "" ["comment_count"]=> string(1) "0" ["filter"]=> string(3) "raw" } [1]=> object(WP_Post)#4530 (24) { ["ID"]=> int(8223) ["post_author"]=> string(2) "79" ["post_date"]=> string(19) "2018-08-14 10:00:52" ["post_date_gmt"]=> string(19) "2018-08-14 14:00:52" ["post_content"]=> string(5116) "Love is complicated and painful yet beautiful at the same time, it makes you hurt like nothing else on earth and in the blink of an eye can sweep you off your feet with a happiness you’ve never felt before. Some people spend their whole lives trying to figure out on how to find true love and others give up after the first try. There is the love you might feel after just meet someone when you get butterflies looking at them and there is the love you have after spending your whole life with someone. Your first proper crush was love as you knew it then, it might not be a scratch on what you feel as an adult in a long term relationship but it was all you knew love to be.

How do we find real love?

For me, it’s all about time. I’m not one to believe in love at first sight. Sure you might hit it off straight away or you might be totally infatuated from the first conversation but real love takes time. You have to experience things together, both the good and the bad and test your relationship to know if you are really meant to be. Time is important, not just in the sense of taking the time getting to know each other and letting the relationship grow but also taking our time to find love. If we go out searching for it we are far more likely to get our hearts broken or be so desperate to experience it we see things in people that aren’t really there. Patience is a virtue and eventually what you’re looking for will come to you but you have to be open minded.

Love isn’t what you think it is

You might think that ‘your type on paper’ is tall, dark and handsome, great relationship with his family and a high powered job but thinking this way is only a limitation. When I first met my boyfriend he wasn’t my type as such, I’ve always been into dark haired tattooed guys in suits and Clint is blonde for a start. Obviously, there was some physical attraction but if I was put off because he didn’t have a sleeve tattoo or because he was ‘just a carpenter’ and not a high flying businessman then I would never be in the happy relationship I am in now. You have to look beyond who the person is now and consider who they might become. I’m a very different person to the the 19 year old girl I was when I met my boyfriend and so is he. If we looked at each other at face value then rather than what we could become as individuals neither of us would have seen a future together. I was a student and now I have a successful career in PR and he worked as a carpenter and now is running his own business. People grow and change and rather than looking for the full package, look at what potential they have. This leads me on to the importance of having your own life and understanding who you are as a person and what you expect from love.

Love yourself first

Personally, I see a lot of truth in the statement ‘you can’t find love until you first love yourself’, you might be able to find a type of love or be able to start a relationship that leads to love but you only find the real and pure emotion once you are comfortable in your own skin. Part of this is because it’s is easy when you’re looking for love to forget who you really are and what makes you happy but also because part of loving yourself is understanding your worth. If you’ve been searching for love for years and you stumble across something which could be it, it’s easy to lose yourself and lower your standards because you want it so bad. This is a recipe for disaster, you’re far more likely to find something genuine by being true to who you are.

Learn to let go

Part of knowing your worth is also letting go of bad experiences that have happened to you in the past. I knew that for my relationship to work I had to let go of my trust issues from a past relationship. If you fail to do this, it can make finding love near impossible. Or worse, you might find it but lose it. Yes, you may get hurt in the process of falling in love but to truly find it you have to be able to let go of everything and fall, fall so hard that it hurts. Part of love is trusting someone wholeheartedly not to hurt you - and that’s a scary thought. To an extent, it’s an uncontrollable feeling, full of passion and emotion but I also see love as a kind of business deal. You are both taking the agreement to love and respect one and another and putting your trust in them to not hurt you. You are coming together to share memories and support each other, whether that’s for the good times or bad and agreeing, in your own special way to spend your lives together. Until you are willing to compromise, look beyond imperfections and love with everything you have while still remembering your worth, you might find a type of love or infatuation but that hard hitting ‘movie love’ that lasts a lifetime will be out of reach." ["post_title"]=> string(50) "How to Find True Love and What Is Holding You Back" ["post_excerpt"]=> string(0) "" ["post_status"]=> string(7) "publish" ["comment_status"]=> string(4) "open" ["ping_status"]=> string(6) "closed" ["post_password"]=> string(0) "" ["post_name"]=> string(21) "how-to-find-true-love" ["to_ping"]=> string(0) "" ["pinged"]=> string(0) "" ["post_modified"]=> string(19) "2018-08-25 15:52:29" ["post_modified_gmt"]=> string(19) "2018-08-25 19:52:29" ["post_content_filtered"]=> string(0) "" ["post_parent"]=> int(0) ["guid"]=> string(30) "https://www.godates.co/?p=8223" ["menu_order"]=> int(0) ["post_type"]=> string(4) "post" ["post_mime_type"]=> string(0) "" ["comment_count"]=> string(1) "0" ["filter"]=> string(3) "raw" } [2]=> object(WP_Post)#4523 (24) { ["ID"]=> int(1972) ["post_author"]=> string(2) "23" ["post_date"]=> string(19) "2018-08-29 15:08:36" ["post_date_gmt"]=> string(19) "2018-08-29 19:08:36" ["post_content"]=> string(7317) "Recently, a friend of mine came to me with a ‘problem’: “I’ve met a new guy, and he texts me every day,” she said, looking overwhelmed and unsure. “What’s up?” I asked. I thought she’d be thrilled that a new guy in her life was texting her every day. Gosh, I’m sure there are plenty of women who would love to be her! Instead, she continued to look pensive: “Well, he texts me every day… does he like me?” My first instinct was to scream from the rooftops: of course, he likes you! What is wrong with you?! But after sipping some of my mocha and carefully mulling the question over, I realized why my friend looked so concerned. I thought about myself, and how I’d react if I had a new man in my life who texted me every day. I’d probably have the same questions as my friend: Does he genuinely like me, or does he text a whole load of other girls every day, too? To get to the bottom of this annoying little question we’re going to take a look at a few possible scenarios and discuss how to tell if a guy likes you over text.

Scenario 1: He is afraid of being tied down

Texting can be an easy way out for a man who has commitment issues: he doesn’t have to meet up or call, he can just deluge you with texts. For him, there is a distance between the two of you, and he’s under no pressure to call this a relationship. For some men, texting is a sort of safety net. If he doesn’t want a full-on relationship, he can satisfy himself by texting you instead. He still gets lots of pleasure from the conversation, and perhaps he even brags about this ‘relationship’ to his buddies. Then, when he’s had enough, he can turn off the tap. This scenario should make you angry. You aren’t some guy's entertainment. You deserve more than that! You deserve a guy who is invested in you and wants to build a relationship. So, if he doesn’t suggest meeting up after a few weeks of texting either cut your loses, or invite him to join you and your friends for an activity (something you are going to, regardless if he’s there or not).

Scenario 2: He is using you to boost his ego

You might not be the only one on his horizon. Some guys have an arsenal of girls on tap that they text, email and call each day. They don’t want to get involved with any of them on a serious level; instead, they just like knowing that they’re all there, ready to answer at the drop of a hat. [bctt tweet="You might not be the only one on his horizon. Some guys have an arsenal of girls on tap that they text, email and call each day." username="GoDatesCo"] "Why is he still texting me if he is not interested?", you might ask. For some men, this is a huge ego booster. Imagine a guy showing off to his buddy, telling him to look at how many girls he’s texted today? It might sound demeaning - but it happens. Today he might send Sandra a text, while tomorrow he might be in the mood to talk to Alice. If you sense that this might be the case, try not to melt when the guy says he misses you. He expects to hear the same thing from you that will stroke his ego before he texts somebody else to say the same thing.

Scenario 3: Texting is his favorite hobby

I have known lots of guys who are hot for texting. They would send me texts about all kinds of things, from music to film, to travel, to dreams to flirty banter, to the usual chit-chat, such as “how are you today?” and “sleep tight”. Then I realized that these guys didn’t really dig me that much – they just enjoyed the flirtatious act of texting girls. One of the guys turned out to have at least five other women that he was texting during the same period. And just like he was swamping me with texts, he was also swamping them with texts (I was smart, I became friends with his best friend – bless his honest soul). If you’re not lucky enough to become buddies with his friends, then listen to your gut. We usually have a pretty good feeling about someone’s true intentions. Does it feel like he’s playing you, or is he really just super duper busy?

Scenario 4: He’s a fly shy guy

However, if he is putting thought and creativity into his texts, and actually investing himself in the messages that he sends you, then there is a chance that he just might be a shy guy. So, go ahead and take the lead. Suggest a phone call, by texting something like “You have such a sexy voice, would love to chat sometime soon…” If he ignores your request and just keeps texting you poetry and sonnets, you might have a great pen pal, but a lousy boyfriend. Decide what you want. Don’t be afraid to take a peek at his social networks. Does he have friends? What does he like to do? If he is out partying in a crowd full of concert goers at 3 am then maybe your shy guy just has the game. Do your research in order to determine what kind of personality he is.

Find someone who’s on the same page

It is important to remember that texting is a convenient (and cheap) thing to do. It literally takes just a few seconds to compose and send a short message - and he can do it from anywhere at any time. He can fire off a text from a dentists waiting room, from a bus, or even from the bathroom. It demands very little effort from a man to text you every day. [bctt tweet="It demands very little effort from a man to text you every day." username="GoDatesCo"] So how to tell if a guy likes you through texting? If he is just sending you mundane, cookie cutter type messages he might be a serial texter and nothing more. Texting for some guys is a way to keep a girl interested - to hook her in, so to speak. But the reality is that they don’t really have any long-term goals. They text because it’s effortless, but they might shy away from investing in making an actual real relationship work. You might want to move from texts and into something tangible, while he might not.

Don’t let this be you

“He texts me every day, does he like me?” is not an easy question to answer, because each man has a different motive. But what’s obvious is that his intentions are unclear, and this should be a deal breaker in and of itself. Again, this sounds super demeaning. But if a man is texting you each day without actually asking for a meet-up and without pushing the “relationship” in any sort of direction, he might be keeping you hanging on just in case he decides you’re all he’s got, so why not? [bctt tweet="You deserve someone who is singing from the same hymn sheet as you, and whose intentions are as clear as crystal. " username="GoDatesCo"] You deserve someone who is singing from the same hymn sheet as you, and whose intentions are as clear as crystal. Trying to work out what a man wants is difficult, and time-consuming. If you meet a guy who texts you every day but isn’t moving the relationship forward, I would call it a day and move on." ["post_title"]=> string(41) "He Texts Me Every Day: What Does It Mean?" ["post_excerpt"]=> string(0) "" ["post_status"]=> string(7) "publish" ["comment_status"]=> string(4) "open" ["ping_status"]=> string(4) "open" ["post_password"]=> string(0) "" ["post_name"]=> string(21) "he-texts-me-every-day" ["to_ping"]=> string(0) "" ["pinged"]=> string(0) "" ["post_modified"]=> string(19) "2019-04-24 18:08:03" ["post_modified_gmt"]=> string(19) "2019-04-24 22:08:03" ["post_content_filtered"]=> string(0) "" ["post_parent"]=> int(0) ["guid"]=> string(30) "https://www.godates.co/?p=1972" ["menu_order"]=> int(0) ["post_type"]=> string(4) "post" ["post_mime_type"]=> string(0) "" ["comment_count"]=> string(1) "2" ["filter"]=> string(3) "raw" } [3]=> object(WP_Post)#4516 (24) { ["ID"]=> int(8423) ["post_author"]=> string(3) "139" ["post_date"]=> string(19) "2018-09-26 12:11:57" ["post_date_gmt"]=> string(19) "2018-09-26 16:11:57" ["post_content"]=> string(12058) "Many of us hold the belief that everything is achieved through hard work. However, that’s not always true. Sometimes the best way to achieving your desires is to take a step back, let go and leave space for the magic to unfold - especially when it comes to orgasms. Trying really hard to have an orgasm is probably one of the most counterproductive things that you can do. Setting the intention of an orgasmic experience, then letting go of the goal and bringing ease into it will be a lot more likely to be successful and so much more fun along the way. Here are ten techniques that will help you to have a great orgasm.

1. Follow your pleasure

Pleasure is the origin of every orgasm. Oftentimes I hear my clients say things like "I don’t have time for pleasure". There seems to be this common sense that pleasure is a highly time-consuming matter, a luxury we have to have the means to afford. But in reality, we can incorporate pleasure into everything we do! I recommend bringing pleasure to every moment of your day. Ask yourself the following question: "What is the most pleasurable thing I can do at this very moment?" It might be a tiny shift that will make a huge difference. Whatever you are doing, you can invite pleasure into it. Some of us are better at it than others, but everyone can expand their pleasure capacity, one gratifying moment at a time. Pleasure is a practice - the more you follow your pleasure, the more pleasure there is to follow!

2. Breathe into your lower belly

Breathing into your lower belly helps you to relax and stop thinking. Here is why: your jaw and pelvis are connected. You can not hold tension in one and relax the other. Don’t just believe me, test it right now: tense your pelvic muscles and breathe in and out of your nose. No problem, right? Now tense your pelvic muscles again and breath in and out of your mouth. Not possible! When relaxing our jaw, our pelvis lets go and vice versa. A relaxed pelvis is essential when it comes to easing yourself into orgasms. Another marvelous effect of breathing into your lower belly is that it gets you out of your head! In order to explain this, I will have to take you on a small tour through the world of neuroscience. It is suggested that our brain consists of three major regions: the cortex, which is responsible for analytical thinking, the limbic system, our emotional center, the area from which emotions are experienced and expressed and the reptilian brain, where we feel pleasure and it is the gateway to your orgasm. Most of us have an overactive cortex, which results in an inability to stop thinking and start feeling while we are having sex. In order for the region in our brain that is responsible for pleasure and orgasm to take over, the analyzing part of our brain needs to go "offline". This is where pelvic breathing comes in. Breathing with no pause between the inhalation and exhalation helps to decrease cortical control, thus bringing us out of our minds and into our bodies. So good. To practice pelvic breathing you need to breathe in and out of your mouth, all the way to your pelvis and back out, keeping your jaw relaxed. There is no pause between the inhalation and the exhalation. You can do this as a stand-alone practice when self-pleasuring and while having sex. You will be amazed by how powerful this simple breathing technique is!

3. Build body awareness

If you want to benefit from the magic that your body beholds, you have to feel what is going on in your body. Sadly, most of us live totally disconnected from our bodies, due to social conditioning, poor lifestyle choices or trauma. Here is a very simple exercise for training body awareness: lie down, close your eyes and scan your entire body. As you do this, speak any sensation that you feel in your body out loud. "I feel an expansion in my lower belly". "I feel a tingling in my right toe". "I feel tightness in my forehead", "I feel a tickling in my right toe". This exercise will help you reconnect you to your body that is needed to have an orgasm.

4. Let your energy flow

This ancient technique is highly effective when it comes to supercharging our sexual experience. There is a huge variety of exercises taught in the Tantric and Taoist traditions, some of them are easy to perform, some of them rather complex. However, in their essence, they are about moving sexual energy from the pelvis through the body. This does not only expand your orgasmic experience but is also profoundly healing. It is the path to whole body orgasms. And to me, it is where sex becomes a limitless experience. This is how you do it: build up pleasure in your body. Focus on your pleasure and visualize it expanding. Now take that energy and spread it through your body! Try to move your pleasure upward and outward. Surrender to a free flow of energy. You will love it!

5. Counteract tension

We all hold patterns of tension in our bodies. We created those patterns because they served us at some point in our lives, but often we are carrying these patterns with us, even though they are entirely outdated and utterly unnecessary. Why? Because we are not aware of them. They have become normal for us. The problem here is that this tension disconnects us from our bodies and prevents our sexual energy from flowing, which is highly unfavorable when it comes to your ability to orgasm - less tension equals more orgasms. What I invite you to do is this: next time you self-pleasure (if you never or rarely self-pleasure, please stop reading this article and take care of yourself immediately!) take a moment, breathe and scan your entire body. Are you holding your pelvis in an unusual way? Are your pelvic floor muscles pushing downward? Are you tensing your solar plexus? Really check in with what is happening in your body. Be curious. And when you encounter an area where you hold tension, don’t be hard with yourself. Ever so gently and lovingly breathe and release. Let that pleasure move through you. And remember, this is a process that takes time. It took you a lifetime to create those patterns, so be patient and compassionate with yourself.

6. Connect to your senses

We tend to think that some people are sensual and some people are not. Well, let me tell you something, every single person on this planet is born a highly sensual creature. Look at babies! They indulge in everything that gets close to them! But then life happens and our parents tell us to "not touch everything", other kids laugh at us because we want to smell funky stuff and we learn that it is inappropriate to stare at people. And somewhere along the way, we lose this grand sensuality that makes life so much more rich and enjoyable. Awakening your senses will take your sexuality to the next level. I highly recommend making sensuality a daily practice. Revel in the magnificent design and taste of your favorite fruit. Consider eating an act of making love with food. Open yourself up to the beauty of this stunningly gorgeous planet! Feel the wind in your hair and the sun on your face with full presence. Choose your food according to its smell. Listen to your favorite music with every cell of your body. How does a hibiscus flower feel on in your skin? Sensuality is all about curiosity and enjoyment. It’s about being fully present in the moment. And this moment, right here, right now, is where you want to be. And bear in mind, the more gentle and soft the stimulation, the more your senses will come to life.

7. Liberate your voice

Make a habit of liberating your voice. This is another very powerful tool to open that free flow of energy in your body and catapult you into being here and now. Try it out right now: close your eyes, breathe into your lower belly, focus on the sensations in your lower body and then as you exhale, express them through your voice. The more you do it, the easier it will be. You will be surprised by the sounds that come out of you and about how light and gratified you will feel afterward. And the next time you are in a sexual situation, do exactly the same thing.

8. Empower your subconscious

No matter how much you consciously desire those soul-shaking orgasms, you might have subconscious blocks that are preventing you from experiencing them. A very common subconscious belief that we have is some version of "sex is unsafe" or "sex is dirty". If the part of your brain that is responsible for experiencing pleasure believes that sex is dangerous or shameful, your body is going to act accordingly. What you can do in order to transform those subconscious beliefs, is to create new, empowering beliefs and repeat them to yourself out loud over and over again. For example: "Sex is beautiful and healing", "I love sex", "I am a sex goddess". Play around with it, try a few and pick two or three that hit home when saying them out loud. Then find a way to integrate these into your daily routine. You can repeat them out loud to yourself every day as you are brushing your teeth, after your meditation, right before you go to bed, whatever works for you.

9. Get in touch with your emotions

I know, this sounds insane, but listen up: humans store old suppressed emotions in their bodies. Why? Because we don’t want to feel them. Why? Because we have been conditioned to believe that certain emotions are bad and not to be felt, let alone expressed. Interestingly, when experiencing a deep-seated sexual encounter with ourselves or a partner, our bodies can open up in a way that makes those emotions want to come up and be expressed. In those moments, what most of us will do is instantly push them down again, cause… not sexy, right? So how do we hold those emotions down? We hold them down by tensing up our bodies so that those emotions won’t flow up to the surface. But you know what else won’t flow? Our sexual energy! That juicy, delightful pleasure that we want to spread throughout our whole body gets cut off. It’s so sad. The way out of this tragedy is to liberate those emotions. Connect to them and find healthy ways to express them. Inside the bedroom and out of the bedroom. As a somatic bodyworker, I have helped people get in touch with those old emotions over and over again. What amazed me time and again is that when expressed and liberated, those old emotions transform into life force energy and pleasure! In order to alchemize negative emotions into a full body turn on, simply focus on the physical sensation of that emotion, vocalize and embody the sensation. If you are in a long-term relationship, let your partner know that you might have fear, sadness, anger or other emotions arise during sex. Be sure to let them know that this is an amazing opportunity for healing and creating intimacy between the two of you.

10. Practice meditation

Having more and better orgasms is not necessarily a benefit that we expect from meditation, but hear me out. Meditation is the practice of being present in the moment going into a no-mind state. And that, my dear, is exactly the state of mind that you want to be in order to experience mind-blowing orgasms. Also, meditation is proven to decrease cortisol levels in our bodies. When we experience stress, our cortisol levels increase. And a high amount of cortisol in our bodies can prevent us from having orgasms. Make the intention to live an orgasmic life, moment to moment. As Osho said so wisely "Be, don’t try to become". And no matter what you do, be extraordinarily kind and fiercely compassionate with yourself." ["post_title"]=> string(28) "10 Secrets to a Great Orgasm" ["post_excerpt"]=> string(0) "" ["post_status"]=> string(7) "publish" ["comment_status"]=> string(4) "open" ["ping_status"]=> string(6) "closed" ["post_password"]=> string(0) "" ["post_name"]=> string(20) "ways-to-great-orgasm" ["to_ping"]=> string(0) "" ["pinged"]=> string(0) "" ["post_modified"]=> string(19) "2018-10-01 00:39:22" ["post_modified_gmt"]=> string(19) "2018-10-01 04:39:22" ["post_content_filtered"]=> string(0) "" ["post_parent"]=> int(0) ["guid"]=> string(30) "https://www.godates.co/?p=8423" ["menu_order"]=> int(0) ["post_type"]=> string(4) "post" ["post_mime_type"]=> string(0) "" ["comment_count"]=> string(1) "0" ["filter"]=> string(3) "raw" } [4]=> object(WP_Post)#4513 (24) { ["ID"]=> int(8494) ["post_author"]=> string(3) "141" ["post_date"]=> string(19) "2018-10-16 10:00:35" ["post_date_gmt"]=> string(19) "2018-10-16 14:00:35" ["post_content"]=> string(8696) "As I handed my then boyfriend that little piece of paper, I felt ashamed. What would he think? How would he react? What could he do about it anyway? Nights before, alone in my home, I had written a letter to myself. I was using my own writing to convince myself not to take my own life. It had worked, I had fallen asleep and not done the harmful thing I had wanted to do, but days later I was still desperate for an answer. I hoped, the man whom I loved, would know what to do. He didn't. Now I know how difficult loving someone with depression can be. Their black hole of self-doubt, self-pity, and despair has a gravitational pull unlike any other. So what are you to do? What helps when your significant other feels helpless? How best can you love them without allowing their gloom to encircle you as well? Here are 10 do's and don'ts of loving someone with depression.

1. Don't tell them to cheer up

Depression isn't a moment or a bad day. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain; one that is lying to its victim. Telling them life is awful and they are worthless. By saying to them to cheer up, or feel better only aids in these depressions lies. Making them feel as though something is wrong with them if they can't just get better. There will be days where your partner is happy and days when they are sad. On these days they are still depressed. Loving someone with depression means you will take the good days and stick around through the bad ones. Always understand that there is a silent 3rd party in your relationship, depression.

2. Be encouraging

Like clouds on a sunny day, sometimes the sun warmth can still peak through. Radiate encouragement, and be uplifting and happy even if you feel your depressed other half is always pessimistic. They need your positivity even if they can't absorb all of it. The little bit that gets through will help them thrive.

3. Don't suggest medication

Any person's decision to take medication for their mental illness is theirs, and theirs alone. Perhaps they are a creative type, such as myself and worry that taking medication may make it difficult for them to tap into their creative abilities. Regardless, continually nagging them to take medication to improve their mood and state of mind will only alienate them. It will make them feel as if they can't talk to you about their thoughts and feelings because you will just again tell them "take medication". Keeping the lines of communication open is crucial to them surviving their illness. Loving someone with depression can make you feel frustrated but remember, you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make them drink.

4. Use the Join Them method

When it comes to loving someone with depression joining them during their negative days doesn’t mean becoming depressed. But if you are always trying to convince your partner that things aren't so bad, this is more annoying to them than it is helpful. Next time you feel inclined to persuade them to see the good in their bad day, mood or week, try to join them instead. For example: "Today was awful. I really couldn't stay awake, and my boss felt like they were hounding me all day..." Join Them method: "Really? I bet that was awful. Your boss can be extra difficult sometimes. What happened?" Instead of "Well, I'm sure your boss didn't mean it that way. Maybe you just took it wrong." It's normal for you to feel like they are too sensitive, or too emotional over things. But shut up about it. Join them in their emotions for a moment, and let them talk and validate their feelings. It makes them feel less depressed and more loved.

5. Don't become co-dependent

Ultimately another person's happiness does not depend on you. Even as their partner or spouse. Likewise, their unhappiness isn't because of you either. Loving someone with depression can make you feel like it's your job always to be their happy partner, keeping them alive. That is draining for anyone. Don't treat them like they are fragile. Any relationship takes teamwork, and you will need to be able to unload your bad days, and difficulties as well. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that you aren't allowed to have problems. That's a slippery slope straight into codependency, making for a very one-sided unhealthy relationship. Not to mention, this will cause a lot of resentment on your part towards your partner.

6. Hold them accountable

If they say they want help, remind them of what was said. How they wanted help. If they suggest trying to work out or do a yoga class to feel better, tell them why they wanted to do that. They may push back and get slightly angry when you do this. But do it anyway, you aren't doing anything but reminding them of the things they said they wanted. That's different than you telling them what you feel they should or shouldn't do.

7. Suggest re-usable date ideas

Join something together, and explain that you are counting on them to go with you. Something healthy like a yoga class, or a volleyball tournament. Something others will rely on you both for as well will help them stick to the commitment. Add a favorite restaurant to eat at afterward or a favorite coffee or donut shop to go to, and it can quickly become your favorite day of the week. Having a regular date night is good for your relationship and healthy for your depressed partner to have something to look forward to.

8. Don't analyze them all the time

I know its difficult, to not wonder if their feelings of inadequacy stem from their family growing up. Or something more going on internally. Telling them about their brain, and their chemical imbalance doesn't help them feel better about their day or circumstances. It will just make your partner annoyed with you, feeling like they are a patient and you are a doctor. Aim to have a relationship of equals, not a patient-caregiver relationship.

9. Help them see the silver lining

When your partner is going through a good few days, keep it that way. Don't remind them of the rough time they had the week before or how they are always underneath it all, innately unhappy. As well as, when they have a terrible time, try your best to show them the good. You can show them how even though they felt it was a difficult time, it will make them stronger. Or it showed them they are capable of overcoming complicated things.

10. Don't stop loving them

I know at times its extremely difficult to love someone with a mental illness. But don't mistake the difficulties you have with your depressed lover as difficulties you won't have with someone else. Everyone has their faults, and every relationship has its problems. In your relationship, depression plays a role. In other relationships, it's ADHD, BiPolar, PTSD or a myriad of other mental illnesses. It's also character flaws and lifestyle struggles. People suffering from depression are just people who struggle to cope with the stress of their life differently than others. That doesn't make them less lovable, or less loyal. It makes them empathetic and giving. Often selfless to a fault, and capable of loving someone else with much intensity. Loving someone with depression is not for the faint of heart. It can be scary at times. When I handed my then boyfriend that letter, he was scared. And he reacted out of fear. Try to respond with understanding. When you are faced with what looks like a selfish act from your lover, act from empathy. Understand that their feelings of despair that drive them to suicidal thoughts come from feeling worthless. They are only seeking to make others lives more manageable. They think they are a burden to those they love, even though this is their chemical imbalance lying to them. Remind them, how much you love them. How much you need them. Help them to see their worth, and they will thrive despite their depression. In my own experience of both having depression and loving someone with it, they can overcome it. But they will need you to help them more than you may be capable of. Be honest with yourself as well, don’t be afraid to let them know you aren’t handling their depression well. Loving someone with depression when you are emotionally unavailable can end up hurting the depression victim worse. Be hopeful with your words and actions. Not desperate or despondent." ["post_title"]=> string(50) "Loving Someone With Depression: 10 Do's and Don'ts" ["post_excerpt"]=> string(0) "" ["post_status"]=> string(7) "publish" ["comment_status"]=> string(4) "open" ["ping_status"]=> string(6) "closed" ["post_password"]=> string(0) "" ["post_name"]=> string(30) "loving-someone-with-depression" ["to_ping"]=> string(0) "" ["pinged"]=> string(0) "" ["post_modified"]=> string(19) "2018-12-09 23:11:01" ["post_modified_gmt"]=> string(19) "2018-12-10 04:11:01" ["post_content_filtered"]=> string(0) "" ["post_parent"]=> int(0) ["guid"]=> string(30) "https://www.godates.co/?p=8494" ["menu_order"]=> int(0) ["post_type"]=> string(4) "post" ["post_mime_type"]=> string(0) "" ["comment_count"]=> string(1) "0" ["filter"]=> string(3) "raw" } [5]=> object(WP_Post)#4900 (24) { ["ID"]=> int(2163) ["post_author"]=> string(2) "17" ["post_date"]=> string(19) "2016-10-06 06:53:46" ["post_date_gmt"]=> string(19) "2016-10-06 05:53:46" ["post_content"]=> string(9956) "You are probably aware of the expression that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and two hearts that beat as one do not necessarily have to share the same postal code. While it is certainly unconventional for a couple in a long term relationship to choose to live apart, there are men and women who happily choose to live in different homes than their mates. Some couples choose to live in the same apartment building or same neighbourhood as their partners. Sometimes, relationships work better when the couple has some time apart from each other. A common reason for Living Apart Together (LAT) relationships is the two people involved with each other lead different lives in different cities. If you’re committed to living in your home because it is close by your workplace and your family members, those are good reasons to want to keep your life as is. It’s fine to live with your partner, but it’s just as fine to not want to make certain changes in your life. Not every relationship requires compromises to be made with regards to where you live. Plus, not living in the same home does not make you less of a couple. Think about your family. If you have a sibling, parent, cousin, aunt, uncle, or grandparent who lives in another city or even another country than you live in, long distance between you doesn’t diminish your blood family ties. You are still family whether you live on the same continent or not. The same can be said about your LAT relationship if you and your mate are committed to each other: you are still connected whether you live under the same roof or not. Relationships obviously grow stronger when there is frequent communication to build rapport, but rapport can be achieved in a variety of ways. So, what are some of the reasons why some couples who are dating each other and even couples who are married to each other choose to live apart? Here are some points why they make that decision.

Personal space when living apart

Have you ever craved solitude for two full hours? Having uninterrupted solo time is one of the many benefits of living in your own home. When you alone pay the bills, you get to call the shots. If your partner has different preferences with regards to interior decorating, you don’t have to compromise if you live in separate places. Living in separate homes is especially beneficial in pairings where one person is neat and the other person is not as tidy. Single parents who are dating other single parents can especially benefit from being part of a Living Apart Together set up. Your child wants as much of your attention as you can give him, and living with another person who is not your child’s other parent can create tension. It’s challenging enough for some siblings who were raised in the same household to get along due to different personalities, let alone people who were thrust into living together because of a new relationship. LAT arrangements are ideal if you get along with your partner but you and your partner don’t get along with each other’s children. Some people are “pet lovers” and some people are most definitely not pet people. While I do love owning tropical fish, I’m personally not a pet person and I have never been interested in living 24/7 with an animal. I often feel anxiety being around other people’s pets because I don’t know how to react around them. Plus, my parents are from the Caribbean, and over there, animals are fed and kept outside in the yard and they don’t dare set their paws indoors. North American attitudes towards pets are totally different, and many people treat pets as members of their families; a concept that I can’t relate to. I certainly don’t want animals to be mistreated, but I’m not comfortable with the idea of living with pets other than tropical fish. As a result, I have made it a priority throughout the years to date men who are not pet owners. Any man who insists on sharing a home with an animal is not the right man for me because pet ownership is a lifestyle choice that I don’t want to take on. Believe it or not, pets are deal breakers for many other people, and some couples have broken up over differing attitudes towards pets. Have you suffered through living with and loving a pet owner and secretly hoped for the day that your partner’s pet will “mysteriously disappear” so that you don’t have to deal with it anymore? It’s not fair for you and your partner to live with constant tension due to differing attitudes about animals. If pets are an issue but you two really love each other and don’t want to change each other, it’s better that you keep separate homes and spend time together at the home where pets don’t reside.

Reluctance to change

When two people live together, making compromises is necessary for a harmonious relationship. And, although a couple may be in love with each other, living together might not be the best solution to moving their union forward. If you love sleeping in on Saturdays and he enjoys waking up at the crack of dawn to watch the sunrise, then living together might be an irritation for you two. Having your own residences where you could each set your own schedules can be very helpful to your romance because both of you can feel confident that your goals and preferences are respected. If the two of you ever feel lonely, you can always visit each other and have sleepovers. You might find that you value your quality time together more and take each other for granted less when you live apart. The time that you do spend together will be treasured. A growing trend is LAT unions between senior citizens. For most seniors who are dating, their current love matches are not the only partnerships that they have built throughout the courses of their lives. Many seniors have been married, divorced, or widowed in their pasts, and they don’t want to have to make any more compromises similar to the compromises they made in previous pairings. The feelings of freedom from being in a loving and healthy LAT union can certainly far outweigh the disadvantages of having to pack an overnight bag to visit your love. Of course, LAT relationships are much easier when you don’t have to travel further than you are comfortable traveling to see each other. If you are working and your partner is working, an LAT union will give you the space to focus on your career and passions without having to get distracted by a mate who demands most of your spare time. You’ll get a chance to miss each other and actually look forward to your times together because you aren’t in each other’s zones every moment of the day.

Money and security

A Living Apart Together partnership is hugely beneficial when one or both people in the relationship is concerned about forfeiting everything they worked to gain. If you live in a country where common-law couples have the same legal rights as married couples, then you could risk having to share your salary and your possessions with your live-in partner if you two break up. That’s not a position that every person wants to be in, particularly if they have lived through bitter divorce battles where the court system forced them to split their assets with their ex-spouses. Having your own home and living separately from your beloved will keep you in the clear from being put in a position to defend your right to keep your possessions. Your family members might feel especially relieved if you live independently from your love companion because your independence signifies that their inheritances from you will not likely be threatened by your partner staking a claim on your assets. This can be especially true if you are a mature, financially successful person who plans to provide for your family after you pass away. While it’s totally your right to live however you choose to live, if your family’s opinions about your lifestyle are of high importance to you, an LAT arrangement might work best for everyone involved. Sharing a love for each other does not mean that the two of you need to share your bank pin numbers and all of your possessions in order to prove your devotion to each other. Do you feel passionately about keeping your diaries, journals, and financial records private? If so, the best way to feel secure is for you to be the sole proprietor of your home. The security that you’ll feel knowing that no one can legitimately access your belongings unless you give them your consent will help you sleep more peacefully at night. If your mate expresses anger at not having access to your things, then perhaps you should rethink your relationship because it’s not your responsibility to provide for your partner. When you take the LAT path, you avoid being in a situation where you’ll be taken advantage of. Because LAT couplings are not typical, you will often find yourself weighing the pros and cons of pursuing this type of lifestyle. Your loved ones may mean well when they suggest that you move in with your partner, but don’t allow yourself to feel pressured. A quick start can often lead to a quick end. If you rush into moving in with your lover before you feel completely ready to share your personal space, you might end up resenting your mate. Too much resentment is never good for building a happy connection. You’re not selfish for treasuring your personal space and alone time. If you and your mate decide to eventually move in together after spending time in an LAT situation, then you can both feel confident in your decision because you experienced the comfort and freedom of pursuing a Living Apart Together path. Image: flickr" ["post_title"]=> string(46) "The Benefits Of Living Apart In a Relationship" ["post_excerpt"]=> string(0) "" ["post_status"]=> string(7) "publish" ["comment_status"]=> string(4) "open" ["ping_status"]=> string(4) "open" ["post_password"]=> string(0) "" ["post_name"]=> string(34) "benefits-living-apart-relationship" ["to_ping"]=> string(0) "" ["pinged"]=> string(0) "" ["post_modified"]=> string(19) "2016-10-06 06:53:46" ["post_modified_gmt"]=> string(19) "2016-10-06 05:53:46" ["post_content_filtered"]=> string(0) "" ["post_parent"]=> int(0) ["guid"]=> string(30) "https://www.godates.co/?p=2163" ["menu_order"]=> int(0) ["post_type"]=> string(4) "post" ["post_mime_type"]=> string(0) "" ["comment_count"]=> string(1) "5" ["filter"]=> string(3) "raw" } [6]=> object(WP_Post)#4885 (24) { ["ID"]=> int(2336) ["post_author"]=> string(2) "33" ["post_date"]=> string(19) "2016-10-27 08:25:31" ["post_date_gmt"]=> string(19) "2016-10-27 07:25:31" ["post_content"]=> string(22722) "Do you really want to drive men crazy in a good way? Perhaps you have (or think that you have) the qualities to attract the guy of your dreams. After all, you've read fantasy books. You want that extra romantic rush in your life. There is nothing that makes you feel more alive than feeling passionate about a man. You want the passionate sex life, you want the romance, you want the right attention, you want to feel like a special queen. I know that you most likely have these instinctual qualities. The last thing that I would do as a writer is underestimate the female sex. After all, you are the beautiful creatures that men fight over! In nature, over 100 million sperm compete over a single egg. 100 million sperm! Men are competitive by nature, after all. It's in our DNA. It's in yours to attract men. Do you want to know what we look for in a woman from a man's perspective? If you answered 'Yes', I have a real treat for you. It can be your short bible for attracting men because I was one of your victims. I know what to look for in women, and I can give you the edge to catch that guy that will fulfill your life, and make your existence truly happy. Men love a challenge. We are hunter-gatherers, cavemen, we often are mesmerized by your looks, and we get hooked on women who sometimes break our hearts. Do you want to drive men crazy? Let's analyze what makes our hearts beat uncontrollably, and what really turns us on!

1. You're attractive and sexy

It goes without saying that men love attractive women. We'll do anything for them. We fight over them, we're jealous for your attention from other men. It's superficial, I know. But what does this mean, you may ask? Well, it means that we're going to be mesmerized by your big booty, and if you have perky breasts, that really helps. Don't forget your hair. Men love long, wavy, and shiny hair. If it shimmers in the sunshine, even better. If it smells great, you will have him captivated. If you flip your hair and bat your eyelashes, we will often forget what we're doing. What was I doing again? Oh yeah... I was writing. Your body language is your true weapon to manipulate us into doing what you want. (You probably already know that). So, if you do that thing with your high heels showing off your beautiful feet, or if you do that hair flip and smile with your glowing white smile, we will probably get distracted. Another thing that we like is when you cross your legs and shake them just right, showing off your stylish new heels that you just purchased the other day. [bctt tweet="Your body language is your true weapon to manipulate us into doing what you want." username="GoDatesCo"] So use your attributes... Flaunt your stuff with confidence. Show off your nice booty with some tight jeans, show off your hourglass figure with a stylish dress. Wear these elegant earrings, that gorgeous diamond bracelet, show off those smooth legs in that new brightly colored skirt that makes you look like a million bucks. Men love this! You will see us turn our heads and you will feel our gawking stares. After all, you're the woman, and you can do this. Men will fold under pressure to attractive women. We all want to help you. Need help with that work bag? We want to DM you... We want your attention. Keep being attractive and sexy. It makes the world a much more interesting place to live.

2. You're fun and comfortable to spend time with

If you're a fun gal, and easy going, give yourself a pat on the back. Most men want this. We don't want to deal with drama or 'my way or the highway' types... That isn't much fun. I love that feeling when I can just hang out with my gal and be lazy together and comfortable. You should want this as well. Be kind to men, and we will be kind to you. Don't be a 'man hater'. Not all men are the same, and we don't all treat women badly. In fact, many men are very sensitive and in-tune with your emotions. It's much easier to find someone dependable that you can be comfortable with. The more easy-going you are, the fewer problems you will have finding a man to stay in your life. You want to chill and have fun with your guy. After all, life is short, time goes fast, and it's much more rewarding to enjoy your time together, rather than arguing over petty stuff that will be forgotten within a month or so. Men feel so much more relaxed with someone who is easy to get along with. You will end up being wife material, and your lonely days will be truly over. If you're too rigid, ask yourself, why? What's the point? Most men hate rigid women. They make our lives miserable, they cause drama, and they put a strain on our relationship. We feel like we're walking on eggshells with you. Ask yourself, would you want to live with and date yourself? Maybe it's something that you want to change. It's possible. You can adapt. Maybe you're a super hot female who manipulates men to get what you want. Maybe it's just a matter of toning it down. If you do, you will probably be happier, and he will be as well because you're not nagging him constantly about little petty things all of the time. [bctt tweet="Ask yourself, would you want to live with and date yourself?" username="GoDatesCo"]

3. You're kind and easy-going

This goes along with being fun and comfortable to spend time with, but it focuses on your attitude. Are you controlling and manipulative? Do you use your attractiveness to get what you want out of life? Have men been calling you beautiful since you were a teenager? Maybe you're used to getting preferential treatment from men, but maybe your attitude sucks! You may be mean, conniving, disrespectful, bitchy, hard to please, high-maintenance, spoiled, vindictive, what have you... You will need to change because no matter how hot you truly are (or think that you are), men will drift in and out of your life like snow. Practice being kind and good-hearted. Smile more. Some women walk around like they want to rip your head off. Just being honest, I've seen it. They think that they're such hot stuff, and they have that attitude and way that they carry themselves like they want to walk all over you. When you're kind and easy-going, your man will appreciate you more. He will love you more because he's not worried about the next time that you throw your heels at him in anger while you're both in the privacy of your bedroom. We all get angry, but practice being kind and pleasant most of the time. We don't want dating to be belligerent and warlike. Life is too short, and there are many different ways that you can connect. Talk about interesting books and novels, movies, music, travel, food, whatever you're passionate about. Go out for coffee, and laugh and have fun. Go out for drinks at your local swanky bar, and enjoy spending time with your guy. He will appreciate it, he will remember you, and he will absolutely desire you.

4. You're interesting and intelligent

Men love interesting and intelligent women. If you're very attractive and superficial, but you don't have much more to offer, we will notice this. Well... An intelligent gentleman will notice it, which is who you should find desirable. If you want an idiot, keep doing what you're doing, but you probably won't be truly happy with your daily life. Most men love educated women and we respect you more if you know what the hell you're talking about. Take Marilyn Monroe, for instance... She read a ton of books. She not only had the superbly glamorous looks, but she was classy, intelligent, she wrote a lot, and she read a variety of books. We love intelligent women! It makes you more attractive to us. If you have an intellectual side, even better. Maybe you're into philosophy, or you have an exquisite taste in certain books or the arts. Maybe you really appreciate music or fashion. Or perhaps you are really intelligent with your spending, budgeting, and money. Maybe you're a musician with a beautiful voice... These are all very attractive qualities to men. Isn't a coffee date a much more pleasing experience, when you can connect on a whole other level beyond attractiveness? Being well-read, educated, and intelligent will raise his interest level in you. Maybe you can learn about what he's interested in, and if there's a mutual interest, you can exploit it, and use it to your advantage. It's mind-blowing when you can connect on a sexual and a deeper, intellectual level with someone that you're dating.

5. You're a flexible giver

If you're a really flexible giver, you will have no problems finding a man who will stay. We love it when we can compromise, communicate, and be open in communication with our women. If you give us random gifts, even better! I've witnessed many women who are flexible givers, and they're born with boyfriends. Why? Because guys will flock to women like this, and they make our lives easier. Maybe you surprise him with a special gift or ticket to a concert. Maybe you plan something really special for his birthday. If he's not an idiot, he will return the favor tenfold. It will pay dividends for you. Your relationship should be like an investment. You put value into it, and it will (and should) pay you back. Your generosity will surprise your guy, and he will think that you're a very special woman for your acts of kindness and giving. It also makes you more attractive to him, because you are loving. He will cherish you for being sweet to him. I've noticed women like this in my past, and their guys feel lucky to have them. They are not leaving anytime soon, because there is loving nature to their connection and relationship. Practice doing this, and observe how your guy will appreciate this behavior. If he doesn't, he's an idiot, you should probably give him the boot, and work on finding someone better. There are a lot of men out there, after all. [bctt tweet="If you're a really flexible giver, you will have no problems finding a man who will stay. " username="GoDatesCo"]

6. You're witty and funny

Guys love to laugh with their women. That's why we love Whitney Cummings. We don't like it when we try to go out and have a good time, and you don't laugh at our silly jokes. Have a sense of humor. Most women do. The ones that do have a sense of humor are usually surrounded by men fighting for their attention. Guys love funny women. Being witty and funny makes you more attractive to us. We love the thrill of joking with you so that you can put us down in a humorous fashion, and make us laugh. There is nothing wrong with poking fun at us, as long as it's funny. This is a great quality in women. I love sarcastic, attractive, and cute women. They are more interesting when they're funny. A really fun date idea is going to a Comedy Club. You will have a good time. Take your guy there. I went on a first date with an ex-girlfriend to a Comedy Club, and we had a blast! It also helped to kickstart our relationship and love together. Even better... Buy him tickets to one. Then you are a flexible giver and you're funny! This method will work on any guy with a normal brain stem that hasn't been chewed by a woodchuck. You will also have a fun time.

7. You're not overly judgmental

Ever been with a guy that was overly judgmental of you? Yes? Well... If you didn't like it, don't do it to us! Men don't like judgmental women. It feels like you're peeling us apart like an onion, and it makes us very uncomfortable and anxious. Being judgmental is a natural trait, but when you overdo it, guys won't like that. I'm judgmental as well, but I can tell if you're judging me about things. If you do it too much, I will judge you as being too difficult and will move on. You're not going to find your perfect man wrapped-up into a nice package (no pun intended). We all have issues, things that we can improve upon, flaws, etc. I have a lot of them, but I'm learning to change and adapt to some of my flaws. It's called improvement. You need to give your guy a chance to improve. If you're patient with him and let him adapt and improve, it will pay dividends for you down the road. [bctt tweet="Men don't like judgmental women. It feels like you're peeling us apart like an onion, and it makes us very uncomfortable and anxious." username="GoDatesCo"] There's nothing wrong with letting him know what you don't like and wish that he'd change. I don't believe that this is you 'trying to change him'. It's normal boundaries and communication about what isn't working in your dating life or relationship. If you're going to tell him, be tactful, let him know what really pleases you, and what you really appreciate about him as well. That way it won't come across like you're nagging him, interrogating him, or putting him on the spot with a ton of negativity at once. Hopefully, he will behave like a gentleman, and start to adapt and improve for you. It's natural to get defensive about it. Guys watch a lot of football after all, and we are naturally trained to be defensive. However, a flexible guy will adapt and improve for you. Especially if you're special to him, and he wants you to stay in his life. It's a two-way street. Bend for us, and we'll bend for you.

8. You enjoy pleasant conversation

So, let's get this straight — you're a sexy vixen and you enjoy conversation about a variety of topics? That's a very attractive quality that guys will absolutely appreciate. Good conversation makes connections and relationships so much easier... If you're good at talking with him and you're a flexible giver, this will go very far in your relationship, because you will keep him happy. Arguments and disagreements are going to obviously manifest themselves. The key to this is being communicative and a good listener. We all get heated in battle, and we say things that we wish that we could take back in anger. If you both cool your jets after a heated argument and work together on improving the relationship, this will help to build your loving foundation together. Fun topics to have conversations about include careers, passions, music, art, books, shows, celebrities, travel, intriguing destinations, upcoming events, plans, etc. Mix it up also, and try different coffee shops, restaurants, or events for an intellectual conversation with your guy. You need to CREATE romance. Be creative. If you feel connected with your partner, and try new things together, this will keep your relationship and dating life fresh. I love that warm and fuzzy feeling inside when I feel like I'm really connecting with a woman. The conversation and laughter flow smoothly, the chemistry is electric and vibrant. Sexual chemistry is huge! Attractiveness starts with getting to know each other, getting along, spending enjoyable and quality time together, trying different places and things together, traveling together, and creating memories that you will cherish for years to come. An interesting conversation will keep your passions alive, and you will be more attractive to men if you're easy to talk with and confide in.

9. You're loyal and honest

This quality is enormously important to keep a healthy relationship. If you're connecting with some other guy behind his back or confiding in someone else while you're dating him, you're being disloyal to him. Guys want women who are loyal emotionally. We want to count on you and depend on you. If you blindside us, it not only hurts, but it says a lot about your character as a person and your integrity as a woman and human being. [bctt tweet="Guys want women who are loyal emotionally. We want to count on you and depend on you." username="GoDatesCo"] So give him your undivided attention, don't lead him on, or play games with him. I've experienced manipulative women who were dishonest and disloyal. It takes a long, long, time to earn back our trust. Don't allow it to happen by being loyal and honest with your man. This is a very attractive quality, and you will also feel like a better person because of your good behavior. Cheating is brutal. If you feel like your interest-level in your guy is plummeting, first discuss it with him. If that doesn't work, initiate a separation, break-up, or divorce, and start moving on with your life with a clean slate. I would much rather talk about the problems and things that I can improve upon within the relationship first, rather than being blindsided with brutal cheating or a woman playing games with my emotions and head. Have a big heart, and treat others in the way that you'd wish to be treated.

10. You're classy

Being classy involves a high IQ. You know what to wear, you're elegant in appearance, and you command your presence with style. This is very attractive to men. Being classy with what you wear and your attitude will take you far. You will have to beat men off with a stick because they will all compete for your attention. I think that really classy women just know that they're classy. They are confident, career-driven women who command their lives, and they are focused. Maybe it is what you wear, or how you wear it... You have a high taste in aesthetics, you read a lot of interesting magazines, Cosmopolitans, fashionable ads, you know what perfumes are the best, what makeup to wear, what will cause men to stop in their tracks to pay attention to you. You flaunt your curves, you show off your glimmering eyes, you have that confident body language, you take excellent care of your beautiful, flowing, healthy, and shimmering hair. The classy woman has her pick of the litter. She can date any guy that she desires. She is a dangerous and confident vixen to tangle with and FUN! They know the fashions, they may even own a business, they are entrepreneurs, they are attractive! Guys will fight for this woman. She is adventurous, mysterious, and unpredictable. The guys that want her will envy the guy who gets to take her out, go home, and have passionate sex with her. Classiness is superbly attractive to men!

11. You're career-driven and independent

You may have a lot of money in the bank, you have a career that is blossoming, you are in command of your destiny on this earth. You are attractive to men! Perhaps you're an entrepreneur, you're successful, you do what you want to, and you enjoy doing it! You're independently wealthy, you have that independent attitude that you don't care what others think about you, you're unique, you're the one that other women envy, and the sky is the limit for you! This woman is in control. She knows what she wants, and how to get it. You love your career, you're always doing things that you're passionate about, you give back to the community. You are superbly gorgeous, you have an elegant wardrobe, you wake up every morning, and tell yourself, 'Let's do this!' Everyday problems are merely speed bumps for you. You know how to handle problems with your plethora of coping skills. Nothing will drag you down. You are fierce, confident, kind, and independent, and you can get guys to do whatever you want. [bctt tweet="This woman is in control. She knows what she wants, and how to get it." username="GoDatesCo"]

12. Other men admire you

Last but not least, this is a quality that will blow men away. If you're one of those women who have a ton of guys following you on Instagram or Twitter, liking your photos, commenting, trying to DM you, you're a keeper. If you find yourself going out on the town, and having a ton of guys want to be around you, buy you drinks, or they are hitting on you, you are a woman that men admire. This is a very superficial, but deadly quality. You are admired by many men for your attractiveness, natural beauty, and alluring personality. Maybe it's that glowing smile that causes men to gawk at you. Or you walk down that street with that bouncing booty, and men stare admiring your presence and strut. When you're at work, men flock to you, like bees to the honey, to walk with you, go out to lunch with you, or talk with you. You can have your pick at a moment's notice. You know that you're hot stuff, and men know it as well. With our competitive nature, we will notice what other guys pay attention to, and who they're attracted to. If you are a woman admired by a lot of men, you are most likely very attractive. This isn't being mischievous or slutty. You don't sleep with a lot of men, you are admired by them, or they hit on you. There is a huge difference. You have classy qualities, and you are sunshine in a dark forest of men. Men like what other men like. We respect each other that way, but we will get jealous or envious of a woman with these traits. If you're admired by a lot of men, you are definitely doing something right, and I think that you probably know it to be true, because you're confident, and nothing will stop you in life. This is my short bible for you! I'm using this from my own experience in life, and what qualities I find in women to be very seductive and attractive. Most women with a variety of these qualities have no problem finding men. They can pick and choose from a lot of them. These are highly cultured, educated, and career-driven women who are bound to exceed and be successful in life. Maybe there's something that you'd like to improve upon, and hopefully, I helped you. My goal is to hopefully open your eyes and reveal to you what you can improve upon, or show you what is working to get that special guy in your life. The qualities that I discussed will help you to be the envy of men, you just need to practice utilizing them. If you already have most of these, more power to you! You are well on your way. You want to be a lovely and confident woman, controlling your path, yet connecting with interesting men along the way. You want to get their attention, yet possess the crucial qualities to fulfill your daily life and make yourself happy. Men will be happy as well because we want more women to be like this in life. They will drive us crazy!" ["post_title"]=> string(50) "12 Attractive Women Qualities That Drive Men Crazy" ["post_excerpt"]=> string(0) "" ["post_status"]=> string(7) "publish" ["comment_status"]=> string(4) "open" ["ping_status"]=> string(4) "open" ["post_password"]=> string(0) "" ["post_name"]=> string(34) "12-women-qualities-drive-men-crazy" ["to_ping"]=> string(0) "" ["pinged"]=> string(0) "" ["post_modified"]=> string(19) "2019-04-25 13:24:40" ["post_modified_gmt"]=> string(19) "2019-04-25 17:24:40" ["post_content_filtered"]=> string(0) "" ["post_parent"]=> int(0) ["guid"]=> string(30) "https://www.godates.co/?p=2336" ["menu_order"]=> int(0) ["post_type"]=> string(4) "post" ["post_mime_type"]=> string(0) "" ["comment_count"]=> string(1) "5" ["filter"]=> string(3) "raw" } [7]=> object(WP_Post)#4839 (24) { ["ID"]=> int(2785) ["post_author"]=> string(2) "53" ["post_date"]=> string(19) "2017-01-16 18:15:43" ["post_date_gmt"]=> string(19) "2017-01-16 18:15:43" ["post_content"]=> string(7869) "We had met on Tinder. I had been single for about six months. I had just moved to a new, exciting city and I decided to go on an actual date with an actual person instead of just swiping purely out of boredom and to get the occasional ego boost. He was an artist and he had cool looking hair. We’d gone for drinks at some bar where hipsters hung out at weekends. We had discussions about obscure art house movies, our favourite place to get breakfast in the city and how he knew a guy who had recently converted to scientology. He paid for everything; I offered but he insisted. He suggested we have a drink at his place, which wasn’t far from the bar we were at. It wasn’t that late. Although there was a slight hesitation on my part, he seemed like a proper 28 year old grown up, someone who was pretty respectful and easy-going. We had a fun time together and I didn’t have much else to do. So I went to his apartment. Within thirty minutes or so, I had left. The next day, I retold the full story to my friends over lunch. The artist with cool hair had made a move after I’d finished my first glass of wine and I had said no. I said no, because although he seemed interesting and cool, I just didn’t fancy it. I hadn’t met up with him to have sex; it was to meet someone new, do something different on a Saturday night and if I liked him? Bonus. Reason enough, no? The artist with cool hair tried to charm me into it a bit more until he finally got the message: I wouldn’t be putting out. In an instant the mood switched and he looked at me rather coldly, sighed in an exasperated manner and then said: “Well, I can’t say I’m not disappointed.” I was so taken aback that I didn’t reply at first. He then made a comment about the reasoning behind my refusal. His theory was that I wanted to see him again, which is why I wasn’t sleeping with him. Dude, seriously? Then he made me feel awkward enough that I left. My friends snorted and did the whole ‘what an idiot/you can do better/girl power’ speech that we females are so skilled at doing, and I knew that they were right. But I didn’t dare tell them how I actually felt about it. I felt stupid. I felt embarrassed. I felt guilty. I began to question my own decision to not sleep with this person. Was I wrong to let him pay the bill? Was I wrong to accept the invitation back to his apartment? Had I led him on? Whatever the reason behind his reaction, I felt awful and felt like I owed him something. I barely knew this individual, we had spent approximately three hours in each other’s company, and yet I felt bad for not letting him take it further. That was the first time I felt guilt about this kind of situation, but it would not be the last. Some don’t expect sex on first date, but of course, some do. It stems from this new attitude toward relationships and sex, where pretty much everything is casual until it isn’t. There is a certain expectation that comes from meeting someone for the first time and it has filtered from the dating apps on our phones into real life situations, where you meet a person for the first time in a bar, share a cheeky kiss on the dance floor and then the expectation to go home with them is pretty much a given. Of course, some just want to hook up and there isn’t a problem with that. We are part of a sexual revolution that isn’t as judgemental as ones before us. But you can’t read minds. You don’t know if that seemingly nice Tinder match wants to actually get to know about you and your hobbies, or if sex is the only subject they’re actually interested in. Being straight forward and saying ‘I’m not in this just for sex’ is one alternative but it isn’t really a realistic one. Discussing our reasons behind going on a date is not something a lot of our generation tend to do. We are too ‘cool’ to actually communicate what we want when we first meet someone, in fear of looking like absolute weirdoes. This feeling of guilt derived from not fulfilling someone’s expectation and giving this guy the wrong message could have come from a number of things, but I began to wonder if it was all because of the dating app we had used to communicate. I’m not saying dating apps are entirely negative (I’ve used Tinder since and have met some ace people from it) but they have certainly changed the way we act toward people we date. Dating apps definitely have provided us with an easier solution to finding a partner and it has given us so many more chances to meet others when our relationship statuses are looking rather bleak. It also opens up a world of opportunities for us to connect with one another when we might not have been able to in other ways; maybe you would feel too shy to approach someone or perhaps you just don’t get out that much. But there is no denying that they have definitely altered our attitudes – it’s easy to ignore someone you matched with, it’s easy to cancel at the last minute and it’s easy to put someone on the shelf, whilst you browse other potential partners. It is also easy to make assumptions about what the other person wants, judging by their choice to go on a dating app. The more I came to think about it (and this was quite a long time ago now, so I’ve had a lot of time), the more I came to the obvious realisation that I had absolutely no reason to feel guilty. But it still bothered me and in an annoying way, it still does. Maybe he wasn’t looking for a girlfriend and purely just wanted easy sex from some girl he met on a dating app but I didn’t really want a boyfriend either. Just because I don’t want to have sex on first date does not mean I want them to be my boyfriend. His comment that the only reason I wasn’t sleeping with him was so that he would be intrigued enough to see me again was the thing that struck me the most. Did he honestly believe that I was playing some sort of sexual game to manipulate him into seeing me again? Did he not come to the conclusion that maybe I just didn’t want to have sex with him? Depressingly, I can believe this – but that also comes from this attitude that we have to play a dating game constantly to get what we want. Does anyone really have time for that? Nope. Bye. Next. It really is as simple as this: no one is entitled to my body. No one should be allowed to put pressure on me. No one should make me feel bad for ‘disappointing’ them. We need to learn that we should not expect sex from anyone, be it a man or a woman. We should not feel pressured to take part in something that we may not want to do, just so we don’t get the reputation of being a tease or a prude. We should not be made to feel stupid or that there is something wrong with us just because we don’t put out to some handsome douche-bag we met on a dating app installed on our iPhone 6s. But every story needs an ending and amazingly, mine has one. About a month ago, I was on a way to a club with my friends. We were being silly and singing, barely paying attention to anyone else around us, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. “Hey,” an American drawl said “I know you.” I glanced around and behold, it was him; the artist with the cool looking hair that I had disappointed by not sleeping with him. “We went on a date once, right?” he said and I did the only thing I could do to get him back for making me feel so bad. I looked him right in the eyes, cocked my head to one side in an ‘I’m trying to remember who you are’ fashion and said “did we?” And instead of feeling guilty about it, I hoped he felt just as disappointed this time as he did last time. Just for an entirely different reason." ["post_title"]=> string(41) "Sex on First Date. The Guilt of Saying No" ["post_excerpt"]=> string(0) "" ["post_status"]=> string(7) "publish" ["comment_status"]=> string(4) "open" ["ping_status"]=> string(6) "closed" ["post_password"]=> string(0) "" ["post_name"]=> string(36) "sex-on-first-date-guilt-of-saying-no" ["to_ping"]=> string(0) "" ["pinged"]=> string(57) " https://www.godates.co/dating-rules-according-to-tinder/" ["post_modified"]=> string(19) "2017-09-07 22:02:52" ["post_modified_gmt"]=> string(19) "2017-09-07 21:02:52" ["post_content_filtered"]=> string(0) "" ["post_parent"]=> int(0) ["guid"]=> string(30) "https://www.godates.co/?p=2785" ["menu_order"]=> int(0) ["post_type"]=> string(4) "post" ["post_mime_type"]=> string(0) "" ["comment_count"]=> string(1) "0" ["filter"]=> string(3) "raw" } [8]=> object(WP_Post)#4487 (24) { ["ID"]=> int(11410) ["post_author"]=> string(3) "155" ["post_date"]=> string(19) "2019-03-14 12:06:35" ["post_date_gmt"]=> string(19) "2019-03-14 16:06:35" ["post_content"]=> string(13372) "Navigating the world of dating is tough enough if you’re 20-something. Dating in your 30's or 40’s, however, brings new challenges. Society norms lean toward women dating older men as this has been acceptable for ages. What happens if you fancy dating a younger man? Sure, there are advantages to dating a younger man. Younger men tend to be more adventurous, open to change, sexually outgoing and make a woman feel younger. On the surface, these reasons are good enough to give it a go, right? But how young is too young? In my experience, the younger the man is in relation to your own age, the more difficult the relationship will be in the long run. As an older woman looking for a younger man, commitment may not be your goal. However, these pitfalls are still valid even if you’re just “having fun.” Dating a man five years younger may not pose too much of an issue. He is probably still able to relate to you in the same manner as a man of your own age.  However, dating a man 10 years younger or more, the difference in age can become glaringly apparent. Before dating someone significantly younger than you, consider these potential pitfalls.

1. No sense of direction

As a mature woman, you probably have your sh*t together. You have all basics including a car, a home, and a job. Maybe you’ve been married once or twice. With all that life experience, a sense of direction develops and the end-game becomes clear. We know what we want and where we are going with our lives. At first, that young guy may seem exciting and carefree. Eventually, however, you probably realize he has NO idea what he is going to do with the rest of his life. If he is significantly younger, he may not even be done with college! Although a lack of direction isn’t a big deal in your 20’s, in your 40’s (or late 30's) this seems dangerous and irresponsible. If you are looking for stability, you may not find it with a younger man. [bctt tweet="At first, that young guy may seem exciting and carefree. Eventually, however, you probably realize he has NO idea what he is going to do with the rest of his life." username="GoDatesCo"]

2. Financial uncertainty

A lack of direction usually translates into job hopping or worse, no job at all. Younger guys haven’t always decided what they want to be when they grow up. I know this seems bitchy, but the sad truth is, at 40, being a broke college student doesn’t have much appeal. Been there, done that! Every younger man isn’t broke, I understand that. However, their financial goals probably do not align with ours. As we get older, planning for retirement and investing wisely becomes a priority. At 20-something, making money and taking risks with our investments is fine because there is time for financial recovery.

3. Different ideas of the world

As a mature woman, you probably enjoy stimulating conversation over dinner or drinks. Depending on your age difference, this may be difficult for you both. Younger guys do not have the life experience yet and may not challenge your mind the way an older man could over dinner. Most of the younger man’s knowledge will be based on college. Now I am all for deep, philosophical conversations. However, as many years have passed since my last philosophy class, my memory is a bit fuzzy on Nietzsche nor do I want to have a deep discussion about how he plays a part in my modern life. I just want to drink my cosmo, eat carbs and maybe grab a good night kiss! Differing ideas with your partner makes things interesting. In this, a younger man may seem like a breath of fresh air. I would agree, for a while. After a period of time, the gap between your idea of the world and his idea of the world will seem like the Grand Canyon. Our life experience shapes the way we see things in the world — good and bad. In general, young people still have rose-colored glasses regarding the world and how it all works. Their views aren’t necessarily a bad thing. We need fresh, new ideas to make this world a better place. When it comes to our partner, however, huge differences in opinions tend to lead to discord in the relationship. Arguments are hard to avoid if your world views are decades apart. [bctt tweet="I just want to drink my cosmo, eat carbs and maybe grab a good night kiss!" username="GoDatesCo"]

4. His ever-shifting focus

You have to be supportive of him always trying new things. Even as I am writing, this doesn’t sound terrible. He loves adventure and always has a new project, right? Enthusiasm for his passions is infectious and you may find this very attractive at first. However, every week he has a new hobby, passion or interest, trying to keep up with his latest passion and be supportive is draining. Mature women have their passions and interests, but we are not looking for a new one every week. Eventually, you will feel frustrated that your younger partner cannot commit to one interest and see it to the end.

5. Feeling like his mom

Young guys have a zest for life that their older counterparts may have somewhat lost. I think this is what makes younger men so appealing to so many older women. I found myself both loving and hating younger men’s exuberance. Yes, it was refreshing-except for when it wasn’t. I found myself being condescending or even scolding if I thought their actions were dangerous or just immature. Scolding or lecturing your boyfriend never ends well and tends to put a damper on the romance. He will have a hard time thinking of you as his partner and lover if you criticize his choice to stay out until 3 am on a Wednesday. [bctt tweet="Scolding or lecturing your boyfriend never ends well and tends to put a damper on the romance." username="GoDatesCo"]

6. His unnecessary risk-taking

Younger guys tend to have a predisposition to taking unnecessary risks. These could be physical or financial in nature. Either way, these risks play havoc with our need for stability. We are usually searching for stability and someone grounding rather than an off-the-cuff way of life. Again, at first, it might seem exciting. Once our sense of well-being is threatened, the instances of acting like his mom grow exponentially. It’s a natural response to a threat to our future stability and is normal when dating someone with an opposite world view. Combating this reaction will go against your basic survival instincts. At some point in the relationship, it will become apparent the risks outweigh the gains and you may need to make a hard decision. Evaluate your life goals before getting involved with someone significantly younger than you.

7. His fear of commitment

Some of you may not want a commitment right now. I get that. I felt the same way when I first separated from my then-husband. As time went on and I got older, I realized having someone unstable in my life made my world chaotic. I craved the stability my marriage had afforded me and I wasn’t finding that trait in the younger guy. What I needed was a commitment! Don’t get me wrong. Older men often have a fear of commitment too. Especially if they had or are in the midst of a bitter divorce. Luckily, older men know the safety of commitment too even if their marriages didn’t work out. Younger guys aren’t thinking about their future with too much gusto. Depending on the age difference, they may even think they don’t want kids. I assume men run into this same issue dating younger women. One day, their biological clock will kick in and then what? If you are where I am, this sounds like a nightmare! If you are going to venture out and date a young guy, take commitment off the table. Seriously, 20-somethings aren’t ready for commitment even if they think they do. I believe you are setting yourself up for heartache. Yes, there are instances when it works, however, disasters are way more common. [bctt tweet="If you are going to venture out and date a young guy, take commitment off the table." username="GoDatesCo"]

8. Sexual incompatibility

Younger men bring in the bedroom their stamina and energy. I know what you’re thinking. Is there a downside to this? Ummm, yes! I know, ladies, you think I am crazy, but hear me out. It’s 3 am on a Wednesday morning. You have an early meeting and a huge presentation at work the next day. Your man decides now is the perfect time for some lovemaking. Now, in theory, sounds like heaven, right? Ugh, no! I get this is not the end of the world and I admit in the beginning it is very exciting to be woken up by a passionate man. In practice, this gets old and annoying. Yes, I said it! As older women, most of us don’t have the stamina for sex that a man in his 20s has and personally, I don’t need that. Younger men definitely bring their A-game in the stamina department, but what about their skills? I think back to my 20s and remember the utter lack of orgasms. Unfortunately, what younger men bring to the bedroom in stamina, they tend to lack in experience. Older men just know their way around and are more worried about their own rather than of their partners’ orgasms.

9. His immaturity

I get that sometimes not acting our age is fun and give us a break from our real lives. This is another reason so many women gravitate toward younger men. I don’t know about you, but acting 20-something when my body is 40-something was demanding and draining. Constantly trying to keep up while making it seem effortless is tiring in any aspect of your life. Imagine having to do it in your new relationship? I understand not every young guy will be immature or act childish. However, if you find yourself thinking he needs to grow up or scolding him, this may be a sign he is too young.

10. Socially awkward situations

Social standards stink sometimes and there is definitely a double standard when it comes to women dating younger men. With men, it seems socially acceptable even when the age difference is shocking, while when women date much younger men it is still considered socially awkward. Other women tend to be the biggest critics of these May-December connections. As a grown woman, I believe the choice is yours and your friends should be supportive. Unfortunately, you may be left out of social gatherings or events. Some may not feel comfortable or feel your partner isn’t mature enough for their event or dinner party. Often our friends have fully developed careers or businesses which may not yet be the case for your guy. Be prepared to answer the typical questions such as: "What does your boyfriend do?", "What do you two have in common?" or remarks "He’s so young". Inherently, we want to protect our relationships. You may find yourself backing away from your friends and family due to their negativity about your new guy. Sometimes, even being around his friends can be awkward and they may not be too accepting of you. Your younger man may take some heat for dating an “old lady.” [bctt tweet="Social standards stink sometimes and there is definitely a double standard when it comes to women dating younger men. " username="GoDatesCo"]

11. The pressure to stay youthful

Women struggle their entire lives with self-confidence. Body shaming and the beauty industry create fear in women of being less-than. When dating younger men, women will struggle even more from the pressure to keep herself young and beautiful. The fear of “letting ourselves go” and losing our younger man can make us a little crazy. Trying to live up to standards we can’t possibly attain may start a vicious cycle of self-loathing. Especially if the younger guy ends the relationship. I understand that insecurity can raise its head in all kinds of relationships. I also get that some of the women reading this won’t believe this is an issue for them. Their relationship is different and strong. Ok, great. Any of the above pitfalls could be the one thing that triggers this sense of pressure to stay youthful. Almost every woman would agree that wrinkles and sagging suck! Regrettably, this pressure and the crazy that may manifest could be the downfall of the relationship. Even with all these potential pitfalls, my advice would never be to steer clear from a man younger than you. Can it work? You bet. Might it fail? Yes, but so could any relationship. Simply remember these pitfalls when making the decision to date a younger man. In no way am I implying that all these pitfalls will plague all older lady-younger man relationships. There are exceptions to every rule and frankly, there is no such thing as “rules” when it comes to love. As in any relationship we need to decide whether the pitfalls are worth the rewards. If the answer is yes, then you go girl! If the answer is no, then perhaps dating younger guys isn’t for you." ["post_title"]=> string(35) "11 Pitfalls of Dating a Younger Man" ["post_excerpt"]=> string(0) "" ["post_status"]=> string(7) "publish" ["comment_status"]=> string(4) "open" ["ping_status"]=> string(6) "closed" ["post_password"]=> string(0) "" ["post_name"]=> string(32) "pitfalls-of-dating-a-younger-man" ["to_ping"]=> string(0) "" ["pinged"]=> string(0) "" ["post_modified"]=> string(19) "2019-04-17 11:25:20" ["post_modified_gmt"]=> string(19) "2019-04-17 15:25:20" ["post_content_filtered"]=> string(0) "" ["post_parent"]=> int(0) ["guid"]=> string(31) "https://www.godates.co/?p=11410" ["menu_order"]=> int(0) ["post_type"]=> string(4) "post" ["post_mime_type"]=> string(0) "" ["comment_count"]=> string(1) "0" ["filter"]=> string(3) "raw" } [9]=> object(WP_Post)#4520 (24) { ["ID"]=> int(8293) ["post_author"]=> string(2) "76" ["post_date"]=> string(19) "2018-09-12 10:00:24" ["post_date_gmt"]=> string(19) "2018-09-12 14:00:24" ["post_content"]=> string(4323) "Ladies, it’s time to stop consulting the wrong people for advice when dating men and start learning for ourselves which pearls of wisdom to take on board and which whiff of bullshit. When it comes to love and dating, there are no rules. There are, however, tips that will help keep you sane through the process. Whatever situation you find yourself in, here are a few bits of advice that I wish I knew from the beginning, and now I am sharing them with you.

1. Spark his curiosity on the first date

First impressions set the tone for the rest of the relationship - not to add pressure or anything. A first date can have all the potential in the world if you’re compatible and give romance a chance to do its thing. If you are interested, you want to appeal to his curiosity, spark his attention and keep it. Put your best foot forward in the way you look, smell and approach your potential date. Let him talk, be polite and save your intrusive line of questioning. Basically, be the best version of your fabulous self.

2. Meet in public and trust your instincts

Throughout the years I have heard a multitude of first date horror stories. Some are hilarious, some are downright creepy, and some might just put you off dating for a very long time. The point is, (especially on the first few dates) you don’t know who you’re meeting. The whole purpose of dating is to get to know one another – in reality, you could be meeting the local serial killer. This may sound dramatic, but in this day and age trust is a rare thing to find and should be earnt and not dished out. Don’t go home with him, meet in public and make sure a friend knows where you are going. Safety always comes before fun and feelings.

3. Leave your past experiences behind

Whether you like to admit it or not, your exes have influenced both you and your future relationships. You should definitely be learning from each encounter, but don’t let your new partner take the fall for your ex’s mistakes. New partner equals to the clean slate so treat it as a totally unique experience from the last. This is not to say you should proceed without care and caution, but why ruin a potentially good thing? If you’re still hurting from the last relationship, you’re not ready for the next one. It can be daunting leaving a long-term relationship and getting to know someone new – getting used to a whole new personality and building a foundation for a relationship. The trick is to get yourself out there (when ready) and have an open mind when you go.

4. Don’t judge a book by its cover

Don’t pass up on a golden opportunity because of shallowness. Many women focus on a perfect idea of love and romance and may even have a pre-planned image of her "prince charming" in mind. Ladies, he does not exist. Real men with quirks and flaws do, however. Restricting your chances because of his looks, the amount of money he earns, his race or class is essentially shooting yourself in the foot. The key is to distinguish what qualities are a necessity and what are ideal. So that long checklist of a perfect partner that you’ve got? Bin it. Love knows no bounds or restraints.

5. Know your worth

No relationship is worth sacrificing your sanity. We are currently living in the dawn of the f*ck boy so let’s face it – it’s a minefield out there. Knowing your worth and expecting a standard of being treated will help you to filter out the time wasters - don’t be afraid to kick him to the curb! There’s plenty more out there to choose from and in this day, dates are more accessible too. You may have thought you’d be married with a family dog and two kids at the age of 25, but that doesn’t mean that things won’t fall into place in their own way. Be patient and please, don’t settle for mister Wrong. There are countless gems of advice that you will hear throughout your life, but to be honest, it’s what you do with it that really counts." ["post_title"]=> string(68) "Dating Men: 5 Pieces of Advice That I Wish I Knew From the Beginning" ["post_excerpt"]=> string(0) "" ["post_status"]=> string(7) "publish" ["comment_status"]=> string(4) "open" ["ping_status"]=> string(6) "closed" ["post_password"]=> string(0) "" ["post_name"]=> string(17) "dating-men-advice" ["to_ping"]=> string(0) "" ["pinged"]=> string(0) "" ["post_modified"]=> string(19) "2018-09-11 03:48:47" ["post_modified_gmt"]=> string(19) "2018-09-11 07:48:47" ["post_content_filtered"]=> string(0) "" ["post_parent"]=> int(0) ["guid"]=> string(30) "https://www.godates.co/?p=8293" ["menu_order"]=> int(0) ["post_type"]=> string(4) "post" ["post_mime_type"]=> string(0) "" ["comment_count"]=> string(1) "0" ["filter"]=> string(3) "raw" } }

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