Those two short words can be the hardest words for some people to say, but the words “I’m sorry” can change relationships and change lives. Have you ever had difficulty apologising to your partner? Making an apology when you know that you are wrong is the best thing to do under several circumstances. It is easy to let pride get in your way and blind you from recognizing that you need to make amends. The hardest part about apologies is when you realize that you didn’t try to make amends soon enough.
If you have ever had an ‘ah-ha moment’ when you understood that the reason why your relationship is stagnant is because either one of you has shown a lack of remorse for actions that have harmed each other, then you know firsthand what the consequences are of not apologising. Apologies are important and crucial to the betterment of your partnership. Here are some consequences of not apologising.
Resentment and tension will build up
Forgiveness is the foundation of many healthy partnerships, and one of the things that quickly destroy a relationship is un-forgiveness. However, it is much easier to forgive your mate if he or she has apologised for the mistakes they intentionally or unintentionally made. If an apology isn’t made, it’s very likely that resentment and lack of trust will develop between the injured party, and the one who caused the wrong doing.
I know from experience that there is nothing worse than being involved with someone who is too selfish to realise the importance of admitting the errors they made. I grew to resent those people who acted in stubborn and selfish ways, and truth be told, I still resent them and have no desire to reconnect with them. When they made attempts to reconnect and apologise, I wasn’t interested in hearing from them because a lot of time had passed and I’d moved on. Once I lose interest in someone, it’s rare that I’ll want to reconnect. I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling this way. Ask yourself this question; do you really want to ruin an opportunity that you could have with someone who could add positive value to your life? If the answer is no, then try to make amends sooner rather than later.
The pain of regret
We’ve all said and done some things in our pasts that we wish we could take back. The problem with not immediately apologising for your mistakes is that you might not get the chance to apologise any more. In this wonderful day and age of technology, we are fortunate to have the options to block people from telephoning us, emailing us, and interacting with us on social media. Isn’t it grand? You can keep someone out of your orbit if you really want to, and other people can also block you from contacting them if they choose to.
But, what happens when you want to break down the barriers and be on good terms again? If someone blocks you from contacting them, you won’t get the chance to apologise. Even worse, unexpected death can permanently prevent any more live communication. It is best to apologise when you can, because the pain of regret is far greater than the pain of humbling yourself to apologise to your partner. Regret can haunt you, and apologising can ease your conscience.
Trust is broken
When there is no attempt made to make amends, trust is broken, and it’s very difficult to re-establish trust. As a consumer, you most likely cease doing businesses with companies that have treated you in an unethical and unfair manner. Would you return to doing business with a company that had offended you before? Maybe you would, but if you’re like most people, you would only consider doing business with the company again if they made sincere efforts to apologise for their duplicity.
When no apology is made to repair your relationship, trust will be broken. The longer it takes for a genuine apology to be made, the longer it will take for trust to be restored. If your partnership holds any value for you and you don’t want to lose it, then you need to address any issues that you two have as soon as possible. If you wait too long, you might miss your chance to fix things. Remember, your partner is no different from a consumer; he or she has plenty of other choices and can choose to partner with someone other than you, even if they’ve always showed loyalty towards you in the past.
Resist the urge to be lazy when interacting with your mate. It can be very tempting to take your partner and relationship for granted, but it is a mistake to assume that you’ll always automatically be forgiven for the mistakes you make. Apologising is a wonderful way to show that you care about who you are with. An apology can be the bridge that connects you and your partner. A genuine heartfelt apology that is filled with remorse can be what is needed to break down the barriers between you and the person who you want to be closest to. Be timely with your apologies and make them as soon as possible if you want to build a thriving connection. You and your partner will both feel better and more focused on improving your relationship when you prove to each other that you recognize the value that apologising can make on your partnership.