Fear of rejection

I haven’t been lucky with finding a girlfriend: as many times as I tried inviting girls out on dates, I eventually was rejected. I try to be a gentleman, say compliments, take them somewhere nice, pay the bill, but when I attempt to arrange the second or third date, they either say that I am not exactly their type or simply never reply to my messages. After multiple dates ending up like this, I developed this fear of rejection and I am not that keen on dating anymore. Shall I take a break from dating and work on something that would help improving myself?

Josh, 23
Marie Barrad
Answered by:
Life & Dating Coach

Hello Josh, thank you for sending in your question about this issue of dating. I can see that you are very upset and overwhelmed by the situation which is totally normal. Remain as the gentlemen you are and pay on the first date. This form of chivalry is winning and shows you are a man who embraces his manly nature to pursue a woman which is always attractive.

From what I can see the ladies you are going for are not the level you esteem to find. Before date one, you need to know your expectations. Ask yourself: Does she want to have a relationship as I do? Do I respect her pace (does she want to take it slow) and have I asked her about her pace? You are a young man and obviously, need more guidance on expectations before and understanding the type of woman that is right for you. This will improve with time. The more you date with a list of expectations incorporating your type, the less you are going to experience dating the wrong types of ladies.

Compliments are lovely and women love to be told they look gorgeous but do not overdo it because you can come across as desperate and it can be off-putting for most women. Keep compliments to a maximum of two during the first date. Women need to know you a lot better before they can fully win your trust. So I advise being easy, relax, do something to reduce nerves and anxiety such as exercise. Have fun, laugh and enjoy yourself on your dates.


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