I really need ways to spice up my long-distance relationship, we’ve been dating for 3 years but I think he’s interested in someone else and he’s tired of our boring conversation. I need urgent help because I love him and don’t want to lose him!
Samantha, 28
Answered by:
Texting and Seduction Advisor

Samantha, I’m sorry to hear that you’re having a tough time with your boyfriend right now. As someone who has done long-distance relationship for too long, and more than once, I know your pain! Luckily, there are ways you can reignite the flame of desire and get his interest back before it’s too late.

Depending on how open you two are, you could raise this topic with him. Explain that you want to keep him happy and make things exciting for him, and ask what you can do to make it happen. Sometimes just the fact that you can state so openly that you want to make him happy makes him feel valued, and realise how important the relationship is to you (as a bonus he may well have some ideas for how you can do so)! If possible, try to have this conversation in person, or at least over the phone — this is not one that you can easily sort out over text!

If you don’t think that approach would work, you’ll have to take matters into your own hands. There are plenty of things you can do to keep the spark alive in a long-distance relationship, whether it’s getting creative with some new fun ideas or simply avoiding the mistakes that stop desire dead in its tracks!

The first thing I’d focus on is keeping your messages positive. While you obviously need to share things as a couple, you don’t want to be a drain on his energy, but rather something exciting he can look forward to. Constant complaining can ruin all the romance in a relationship.

Secondly, keep him on his toes by switching up the tone of your texts — some sweet, some flirty, some funny. Variety is the spice of life! Flirty messages can be anything from photos (sent with care, of course!) to racy fantasies you describe in detail, as guys are visual creatures! Start with “I’m picturing us together as we speak…” and see where your imagination takes you!

You can also mix up when you text him, from sweet good morning messages to good night texts that’ll ensure he falls asleep thinking of you. Take the chance to use ‘out of the blue’ messages during the day to remind him of shared memories. These will help him to see the value in your long-distance relationship before it’s too late. And if he doesn’t value what you’ve got, he’s not worth it anyway. Good luck!