Are you having some struggles in dating department? Has your relationship encountered some obstacles or you are lacking clarity over particular topics? Send your dating or relationship question to us, and we will get one of our experts to help you out!
I just can’t forget my ex and it makes me seriously depressed. Even though we were together for a short time, our relationship was pretty deep and intense and he felt like a perfect match. I had to relocate to another country, but we were planning to keep in touch, meet up again and travel together. However, his enthusiasm died off rather quickly and his messaging transitioned from daily to next to none while I spent my nights crying for him. It’s been over 3 months now that we are apart and I don’t think there is any future for us for multiple reasons, but I can’t help comparing my new dating prospects to my ex and it feels like they are miles apart: not even half as smart and fun to be around with and I am just not attracted to them the way I was to my ex. How do I stop lingering on my past and prepare myself to let somebody new into my life?
Dear Brenda, I want you to think about this; the hold that your ex has on you might be preventing you from ever finding happiness. You might feel as if you are alone, but you are not. Other women and men have experienced loss and heartache. And although it is difficult to try to make […]
I have a wife who doesn’t want sex. Things were ok before our marriage but after we moved in together her attraction to me started fading away. When we were dating we used to have sex at least three times a week and then it gradually reduced to a couple of times a month. I love my wife and I am sexually attracted to her, but this situation makes me frustrated. Every time I want to talk to her she tries to avoid the topic. Shall I suggest her seeing a psychologist?
Paul, Many couples see a change in their sex and intimacy as their relationships lengthen in time. When a couple moves in together, the dynamic does change, and it’s important to talk about how this affects both people. When you live with someone, you see them all of the time, and the sense of mystery […]
My girlfriend is affectionate with me when we are together, but when we are apart I always text her first. She says she is not a fan of texting, but sometimes she doesn’t reply to my messages for hours or even days even though I can see she is online. I started getting worried if she has somebody else or some other priorities in her life. I don’t want to be the last person she thinks of throughout her day. Not sure how to express my concerns to her so she wouldn’t think I am a paranoic type.
Dear Mario, I’m sorry to hear that you are feeling anxious about your relationship. There are many reasons why people don’t respond to text messages right away. It’s not always because of lack of interest. After coaching tons of people the last six years I have seen that one of the biggest reasons is simply […]
I am going through a tough time right now. My girlfriend and I have been together for a few years, we are best friends and soulmates and it feels like we belong together. However, when we started talking about our future, it appeared that she has a totally different vision. She is tired with her current job and needs changes in her life, so she wants to move abroad or even travel for a while living a few months in one place while I am happy with my current life and I was actually thinking of getting married and starting a family. She totally freaked out when I mentioned the possibility of having kids some time soon and she said she is not ready for that. It made me seriously thinking if this is going anywhere. Is she the one?
Hey Brian, Sorry to hear about your pickle. I’ll be honest with you and hopefully you find this helpful. However I must stress that these are merely my opinions. Is she the one? The simplest answer is that you likely need to part ways, at least for now. In my opinion, love is not enough. […]
I’ve been single for the most of my adult life with a couple of year relationship being the longest. There was a variety of reasons for that: in my early 20s I wanted to be independent, then relocated to another country, started career and had a busy life and eventually transitioned to nomadic lifestyle changing countries every few months. I want a relationship and I am trying to put a conscious effort into finding a partner that I’d want to commit to, but every time I start thinking I found the one, things fall apart. I’ve been trying different dating strategies both online and offline, lowering my requirements, dating people that are not exactly my type I’d imagine myself with, but nothing works. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life flying solo, but I am getting so tired of looking for my perfect match. Should I just settle down for somebody who does not feel exactly right?
Dear Carla, Thanks so much for sending in this question. My first thought is Gah! Don’t lower your expectations! Settling for sharing your life – your super precious life – with someone who isn’t suited for you is such a recipe for disaster. Be unapologetic as to who you are and what you are looking for. That’s […]
My ex girlfriend was immature and after a while of dating her, I felt like I was going to work instead of having fun with her. We could basically never get on the same page with each other about what we liked, expected, wanted and didn't want. It got bad quickly. We also only saw each other a total of 6 or 7 visits. And every phone conversation we had after the first month or two felt nervous and new. It felt awkward. She drained me and made me cynical towards affection. After a few years in therapy figuring out who I am, I'm ready to at least try dating. How do I let myself chat and enjoy a girls company? How to start dating again?
It appears you have two issues challenging you. The first concerns your ex girlfriend. It does not seem that you two were on the same page. When you feel like you are going to work versus seeing your girlfriend, that’s a red flag. Relationships can be tricky, but when things do not line up seamlessly, […]
I am getting frustrated with dating. I try to be open and put myself out there and date different types of men, but I just can't seem to find someone who is the right fit for me. I continue to attract the wrong type and end up with people who are not a good fit. I want to end this vicious cycle. What am I doing wrong and what is the best way to fix it so I can find the right guy?
Samantha, I feel your pain. It can be challenging to find someone who is compatible with you. But, here are a couple of dating hacks which can help you find the right guy. I often advise my clients when they are feeling like they keep hitting the wall with dating the wrong type of person […]
As far back as I can remember, I've always known that I want children. I’ve been single for a while and now I feel ready for a long term relationship. Shall I make my potential dates aware of my stands regarding children right at the beginning or shall I wait until it all develops into something more serious?
Modern society puts women in a Catch 22 position. We are frowned upon when we have babies too young or if we wait too long to have kids because we cannot find the right partner. Monica, if you constantly keep on thinking “I want children”, you need to do some soul searching and determine what […]
I’ve been married for over 10 years and the romance seems to have died a long slow death. Basically the only time my partner and I spend together is flopped in front of the TV after the kids are in bed. With kids, jobs and keeping the house running we don’t have much time, money or energy for anything else. I’m terrified we will drift apart and end up divorced in years to come. I’ve suggested a regular date night to my partner but he wasn’t very interested. What can I do to get some of the old spark back?
Rest assured, it’s a very common problem. The good news is that there are some easy things you can do to rebuild the romance in a relationship. The bad news is that it will take some time if both of you aren’t actively trying. You have two choices with your approach. The first is that […]
My ideal man is someone who is strong, ambitious, emotionally as well as financially stable, caring guy who treats me as a woman and allows me to be vulnerable and cry in his arms when I need it. However, it became a pattern that I attract feminine men that are nothing but the opposite of my desired type: weak, clinging to me for emotional support, with various psychological issues and don’t have their lives sorted. I start mothering them and eventually crush them with my strong personality. How do I break this vicious cycle and find myself a manly man?
Steph, Great job on identifying the type of man you are looking for. There is a difference in attracting the ideal man versus getting into a relationship with him. You probably attract many men but don’t need to form a relationship with the type of men you don’t want long term. If you are not […]
I really need ways to spice up my long-distance relationship, we’ve been dating for 3 years but I think he’s interested in someone else and he’s tired of our boring conversation. I need urgent help because I love him and don’t want to lose him!
Samantha, I’m sorry to hear that you’re having a tough time with your boyfriend right now. As someone who has done long-distance relationship for too long, and more than once, I know your pain! Luckily, there are ways you can reignite the flame of desire and get his interest back before it’s too late. Depending on […]
The guy that I met on a dating site recently attempted to make a move on the first date. I tried setting boundaries by telling him that I am not in the mood for one night stands. A few days later he asked me out again that I took as a sign he sees something more in me than just a hook up material. I was way more relaxed and we kissed, but then he texted me suggesting to be ‘just friends’. He is a fun person to be around with and while I value his friendship, I am attracted to him physically so now things are a bit awkward. I enjoy his company and I wouldn’t mind taking things further, it just seems that he is not interested in me as in a woman any more and he friendzoned me irreversibly. Have I done the wrong thing trying to slow things down and get to know each other before jumping to bed?
Dear Lauren, it appears Mr. One-Night-Stand isn’t looking for a relationship based on the information you have provided. Here is why: First, he tried to make a move on the initial date without learning about who you are. Trying to hook-up on the same night you meet in real life is a good sign he […]
I simply don't know how to say the flirty things to women in a genuine, authentic and playful way. No words come to me during chit-chat that resemble flirting or bantering. Using canned lines isn't a way I'd like to go. I realise this is important, but I don't know how to start flirting with women without it being awkward or accidentally creepy. If you have any suggestions on how to get better at flirting I would really appreciate it.
I have a quick and easy way to find your flirt and learn how to banter without coming across as creepy. But first I want to give you a mini lesson on banter so that you get a full understanding of what it is and why it’s so important to women. Bantering is defined as “The […]
I’ve stared dating a younger man and things seem to be simply amazing: we share similar views and values, have the same sense of humour, respect each other and have lots of fun together. He said that he feels happy with me and so do I. In fact, this may be the most rewarding relationship I’ve ever been in. However, when I brought up the topic of our potential future together, he became very hesitant and even suggested we keep our relationship open which was totally unexpected to me. I am 6 years older and ready for a commitment, while he hints he needs more time to think about it. I don’t want to push things, but waiting around until he makes up his mind let alone dates other women to convince himself if he wants to be with me does not feel right. What should I do?
Dating a younger man is quite a dilemma that you find yourself in! You have met a nice guy who you feel comfortable with and who you envision building a future with, and you want to drive the relationship with him forward while he wants to slam on the brakes. This is a man who […]
I can talk to women in bars (where it’s expected) but often I’ll see a really attractive woman in a store or a café that I’d love to meet. How can I do this without being creepy?
Firstly, the fact that you’re concerned about being creepy is already a great start. It means that you’ll approach the situation with care and social intelligence. I recommend my clients to always start talking to women with “Excuse me …” I believe this gets the woman’s attention and gives her a moment to register you […]
This guy I am hooking up with hates to wear condoms during sex. Every time I ask him to he has a different excuse. We have had unprotected sex a few times, so he doesn't understand why I still want him to wear one. I feel bad when I ask him to and he seems annoyed. I know I'm not the only person he is hooking up with so I'm worried what can happen as well as fearful of getting pregnant. How can I make him wear a condom without feeling bad?
Leah, what you are experiencing is common for many women. Guys don’t like to wear condoms during sex for many different reasons. However, there is no excuse he can use that is good enough to skip wearing protection. This is your body and you have complete control over it. Don’t feel bad because you want […]
I have a hard time approaching women. I like going out with my friends, but when it comes to striking up a conversation with a woman that I like I can’t bring myself to make the first move. Every time I go out with the intention to approach girls, I freeze. How do I overcome my anxiety?
Please don’t think that you are alone with this problem of approaching women. In fact, this is the number one sticking point my coaching clients struggle with. But let me tell you a secret. Approach anxiety is not the real issue of your problem. I know. That might sound confusing, but let me ask you […]
How do I get my partner to put his phone down and pay attention to me?
Let’s face it, these days people can’t walk up the subway stairs without checking their phones. The truth is, people are hard-wired by technology to their jobs and responsibilities 24/7. It’s necessary to be on point and available at all times if you want to get ahead, but being shackled to your phone can also […]
I’ve been told that I am too nice to girls, which is why I am single. As a nice guy, I am tired of finishing last, so how do I be mean to girls?
Nice Guys often face a perspective dilemma – they believe they must choose between nice and mean. We are so lost in our Nice Guy identities that we don’t see the alternative options. I was like this for most of my life. I thought being nice was option 1, and being an asshole was option 2. […]
I keep ending up with Mr. Wrong. How do I find Mr. Right?
I am so glad you asked me that question as I truly understand you. There are so many dating rules and advice on how to find Mr. Right, it can become daunting. We have been led down the wrong path as we search outside of ourselves for love. What everyone is searching for is the […]
I have had a crush on coworker since I started my job almost a year ago. I thought it would pass, but the feelings have only intensified because of our shared values and interests. We are both single, close in age, and I know he has not been in a serious relationship in a while. I wouldn't act on these feelings while we are in our work roles (and I know he wouldn't either) but he's getting ready to leave his position in a few weeks. Is it okay for me to express my feelings to him now? Or should I wait until after he leaves he position?
Love lives and office romances are complex right now because of all the creepy guys in a power position taking advantage of actors and employees. For that reason, I would never recommend manifesting your crush on coworker if you were both going to continue to work at the same company. But since he is leaving […]
I recently went on a date with a guy I met through a dating site. We had chatted a bit at first, both online and then by phone, and we seemed to hit it off. We decided to meet for a drink and then dinner, and I was really looking forward to it. I don’t know if it was nerves, or what, but overall the whole experience was… meh. Honestly, I was ready to go home after the first drink, but we pushed through an awkward dinner anyway and then both bolted for the door. I was so disappointed – we seemed to have a good rapport and so much in common when we spoke over the phone, but in person, there was nothing. Since our date, he’s texted me a few times and even suggested we get together again – which surprises me: was he not on the same first date I was? Not sure what I should do: cut and run, or give it another go?
I’m of mixed thoughts on this one. My first reaction is that you should never have to talk yourself into someone, especially after just one date. Either the chemistry is there or it isn’t, and in this case it sounds like it really wasn’t. Struggling to get your meal down just so you can bolt for […]
How do I know if the person I'm dating is a good potential partner and the right person to be with?
When it comes to selecting a partner that best fits what you’re looking for, you can start by establishing your top 5 relationship values. Your relationship values can help clarify exactly what you need in a partner to achieve fulfillment and happiness in a relationship. Examples of relationship values: trustworthiness, integrity, honesty, open communication, ambitiousness, loyalty. […]
My girlfriend doesn't want sex as much as I do. She never seems like she is in the mood and rarely initiates. We have been together for two years and I'm worried things won't change the longer we are together. I can't stay in a relationship where I am the only one wanting to have sex. I don't know what to do.
Elliot, thank you for sending in this because lack of sex in a relationship can cause issues. Couples who are in long-term relationships sometimes see a change in sex and intimacy and your situation when a girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex is rather common. Pick a good time to talk to your girlfriend about […]
I have been dating my boyfriend for 1 year and he has not introduced me to his family yet. Do you think that is a sign that he is not serious about me? We don’t live together, and I am 37 years old and my boyfriend is ten years older than I am.
Each relationship is unique, and every relationship advances at its own pace. When two people within a relationship are on the same page, they communicate with each other clearly and they decide when and how they want to advance their relationship. That being said, a year of dating is certainly enough time to figure out […]