When will I find love?

I’ve been trying to find a partner for a couple of years with no luck. I signed up to a few online dating sites, attended single events, went to dancing classes and tried many other places and ideas where I could meet some singles and even though I had a couple of dates, it never evolved into anything serious. Not sure what else I could try? I am not getting any younger and I don’t want to end up single. When will I find love?

Teresa, 29
Akua Hinds
Answered by:
Dating, Commitment Issues & Romance Adviser

Dear Teresa,

I completely understand your feelings about wanting to find the right person for you. Do you feel frustrated because of the uncertainty when you are going to meet your ideal partner?  If so, you are not alone. While I cannot give you an exact date and time as to when you will achieve your goal, I can guarantee you that if you do nothing proactive to find the right person you will not be giving yourself an advantage. Sometimes, we feel that we are doing just enough to achieve our missions. However, life has taught me that there are some circumstances when individuals need to put in a lot more strategic effort than they previously did. I often express that finding a new relationship is a full time job. Your focus needs to be on doing something or many things each and every day to move yourself forward to the intended goal.

You have already tried attending singles events and joined dating websites, and those are great strategies so far. Way to go! You are showing to yourself and to the universe that you truly want to be partnered with a special person. However, you need to keep investing in your love life until you find your ideal match. And, if you think that you will finally be able to stop putting in so much effort once you land your Prince Charming, think again! You will need to keep investing your time and energy into making the relationship work in order for your union to be successful. During times when you feel discouraged, it is vital that you keep encouraging yourself to press forward and believe in yourself.  You should use this time of singleness to shape your values about love and relationships.

There are many times when I have felt frustrated about not finding the right person exactly when I wanted to find him. But in retrospect, I realise that I could have been much more proactive about enhancing and improving my life and trying to become the kind of person that I needed to be so that I could do well in my dream partnership. Have faith in your ability to be with the person of your dreams. I know that you are tired of trying, but your love life will only improve once you take control of it and believe that you are worth investing in it. Join dating websites that you have never tried previously. Attend events, and aim to be the confident shining star in the room. Your lack of confidence in finding someone might be reflecting in your demeanour, and you certainly don’t want to scare off potential partners by being negative.  Keep trying every day to find your love match. Good luck on your journey!


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