Trust is the most important quality in your relationship. You must be able to trust your significant other. If trust is lost, the relationship implodes. Building trust in a relationship takes a lot of time. In all of my previous relationships, when trust is lost, it’s doomsday.
Mistrust also adds up. Similar to spending money, the more trust that you lose within your relationship, the worse it gets over time. Therefore, I’m determined to help you save your relationship, and avoid mistakes that may hurt your relationship.
Be completely honest with your girlfriend
You should be completely open with your girlfriend. It’s important to tell her how you feel, and what bothers you about certain things within the relationship. If she doesn’t respect you for being open and honest with her emotionally, you may want to consider exiting the relationship. I’m not even kidding — I had encounters like this before, and if she’s not respecting your feelings, she’s not respecting you. Get out before it gets worse.
If she does respect your feelings, and doesn’t make fun of them, then you have someone who is flexible, open, and will have a decent conversation with you. This is a mutual platform, and you have to realise that you need to be there for her emotionally as well. Being open and honest will build trust within the relationship. That includes avoiding ‘little white lies’. I have told little lies before in relationships, and have always regretted doing so. Your lies will come back to haunt you. I don’t like the feeling of lying or deceiving someone close (or anyone), so now I tell the truth no matter what the consequences of my actions are. I feel better being an honest person, and I think that people will admire you and respect you for your honesty, even if it has brutal consequences. The primary benefit to telling the truth within your relationship is that you will have a clear conscience, and nothing to worry about.
Respect her privacy
Being loyal within a relationship means that you need to respect her privacy. That includes her male friends who may make you jealous. Jealousy within a relationship exists after suspicion. If she’s earning your trust, and she has male friends, let her go out and have fun with them. There’s no need to be jealous of her if she’s not giving you a real reason to be jealous, other than hanging out with other male friends that may find her attractive. Take it as a compliment. You get to go home with her, and they won’t. As long as her male friends are respecting her relationship with you, who cares?
I’ve learned to let my guard down when it comes to her other male friends. As long as she earns your trust, and you trust her, this will strengthen your relationship. She must also respect you, and you should be able to hang out with other women as well. If she gets really jealous of you with female friends, or simply talking to your ex about scheduling your children, she’s most likely very insecure.
You should also respect her privacy if she’s upset with you. If she just needs some space to cool down, let her. If you’re the type of guy who tries to fix everything as soon as possible, be patient with her and give her the privacy that she needs in the relationship. You can always revisit matters after she cools down. It’s important to apologise to her if you’re in the wrong, and most of the time you should apologise more than you wish to. Admitting your own mistakes shows awareness, and demonstrates to her that you care more about her than being right all of the time.
Actions speak louder than words
Building trust in a relationship requires you do to the right thing at all times. That means not flirting with other women behind her back, not going to a strip club with your buddies while keeping things secret from her, and not having an emotional connection with another woman online or in real life. You must make her a priority, not deceive her, and think about her first. You may want to think to yourself, would she be ok with this? Your actions will show her if you care about her. It’s up to you to be loyal and there for her.
You should maintain constant contact with her so that she knows what you’re up to. It can just be a simple text or a quick phone call: “Honey, I’m going to be home late tonight because I need to run some errands after work.” That’s it. It’s just courteous, and it won’t get you in trouble. All the same, she should also respect you as well, and not stay out until the wee hours of the night partying with some guy that you don’t even know that she recently met. If you notice that she’s staying out late with a certain guy and seems to be misleading you, this will be a huge red flag that you will need to look into. Pay attention to her actions, and mind your own actions as well.
Spend quality time together
When trust is drifting away in your relationship, you may want to do some relationship maintenance and start spending more time with her. If she notices that you don’t enjoy spending time with her, she will look elsewhere to get her attention (other guys who happen to find her attractive). You want to show her that she’s important to you, you enjoy spending quality time with her, and this will also help in the trust department.
If she seems to be spending a lot of time escaping your relationship, have a talk with her. Show her empathy, and be there for her emotionally. Sometimes all women want you to do is listen to their feelings. Give her freedom in your relationship to do what she wants, but offer to take her out on some more fun dates. Being emotionally close will help you maintain your trust within your relationship. Everything isn’t always clear sailing, and you need to show her that you care through spending time with her, as well as your actions.
As long as you’re being honest with her, respecting her privacy and freedom within the relationship, showing her that you love her, and spending quality time with her, you should be good. Pay attention to yourself and be aware of your actions and how they affect her. I know that sometimes it’s difficult to put yourself in her shoes, but it’s important so that you’re not being too selfish within the relationship. Using these strategic maintenance tactics will help you to build trust and keep it within your relationship.