Perhaps you’ve been on the dating scene for a while now, but you’re not getting the leads or results that you desire. Not only that, but it’s going on months or years, and you still haven’t found anyone that you would consider dating regularly in your life! What do you do now? Do you bury your head in the sand? Wave a white flag of surrender? Throw in the towel, and completely give up on dating? Get off of your favourite online dating site? I will tell you what you need to do, because I’m living it… and it isn’t as bad as it seems.
Sometimes, I’ll have dates lined up, and other times, there’s absolutely nothing. You can hear crickets, and you can hear a pin drop. It’s called a ‘Dating Drought’. It’s like you’re thirsty in the desert, but you’re thirsty for a good date with an attractive and interesting woman, and to be completely honest, it sucks. You see everyone around you and couples connected to you on Facebook and other social networks who happen to be in seemingly happy relationships, and thriving together, and you’re still single and feeling lonely. However, it could be worse. A lot worse. You could be miserable and suffering in silence within a bad relationship or marriage, but instead — you haven’t found your right companion yet. You’re still free, and can make your own present and future dating decisions to create your ideal life.
Spend your free time wisely
During your free time, you should pursue your interests and relax. I’ve been able to completely regroup and reestablish my life in my solitary man time. It’s honestly refreshing, and I find myself absent from all of the stresses and routines of being in a relationship. That’s not that I find relationships to be bad, in fact, I’d rather be in a relationship when it comes down to it, but it would have to be the right one for me. I’ve had my opportunities, but I’m sticking to my guns for what I truly want and desire in a partner and relationship.
I’ve recently also joined a gym. I’m currently in terrible shape, and it’s been years since I’ve stepped one foot on a treadmill, or pumped iron. I’m currently starting out and doing it, because it will ultimately make me feel better to be in shape, and I think that it will show confidence in myself as a guy. It’s difficult though, because as I’m writing this, my pecs, biceps, and back are sore from my workout a couple of days ago on a Friday evening. This is my advantage though. I have the free time to work out and improve myself. So when I find ‘the one’ for me, I’ll be prepared for it (hopefully).
Focus on your interests and career
The dating drought for me has also helped me to focus on my writing and career. I also have the opportunity to read more and pursue my interests. I’ve always been the type of guy to be in a relationship, and the absence of being in a marriage or relationship has helped me to find and discover myself as an individual. I’m able to explore new things and not be tied down to the shackles of the expectations of a relationship. I can manage my own time, and do what I want when I want to.
Suburban drudgery has never felt better. The extra time to write and focus on my career has really benefitted me. I’m enjoying the solitude.
Be patient with online dating
I’ve noticed with online dating, that sometimes it gets really busy (you get some potential dates), and other times, you deal with nothing. It’s best to be patient, and you can always get off of dating sites for a while to take a break, and when you’re ready, sign up with a subscription and start swiping again. It’s important to not settle for someone who you truly find underwhelming. You want to find someone online that you get excited about spending time with, and look forward to seeing.
You need to be flexible with yourself, and not expect too much from online dating. If you find someone that sweeps you off of your feet, obviously this is a bonus, but you need to be prepared to go out on a lot of dates that will not ultimately work out for you, but you will gain practice with every date. Sometimes, the dating scene gets seasonal. You will get a lot of options around the spring or summer (when the weather is nice and sunny), but the winters can get lonely.
Whatever your experiences of dealing with dating drought are, don’t give up! It’s not all depressing, doom, and gloom. Sometimes, you will just need to be patient and weather the turbulence of the dating drought. Hopefully, after the long break that you have taken to be alone, you will find the ideal date that will keep your interest high, your fire lit, and your hopes alive!