Single And Dating in Your 40s: What to Expect

dating in your 40s what to expect

You survived the meltdown of your previous break-up or divorce, and now you find yourself single and in your 40s. You can see the glass half full or half empty depending upon your attitude. Generally being a positive and hopeful person, despite the rough everyday reality, I see it as a grand opportunity. This is an opportunity to change and create your new life — the way that you truly want it to be. You’ve learned from the pitfalls and dangers of your previous relationships, and you are more aware about what to expect while dating because you are not a young whippersnapper anymore.

Dating in your 40s can be new, exciting, and frustrating all at the same time. You can feel that anticipation of meeting someone new who happens to be in the same boat as you are. So what can you expect while you’re in the process of creating, engaging, and changing your newfound life?

The choice is still there

There are plenty of single people in their 40s on dating sites who are looking for love just like you. The bad news is that many of them just won’t be your type, so the key is to be patient while seeking love.

Your odds of running into someone compatible with yourself are generally good. Sometimes it’s just a waiting game, or maybe you just date casually to get some practice, until you meet ‘the one’. Either way, it can be fun as long as you keep a positive attitude, and if you stop telling yourself that online dating over 40 sucks.

Get ready for some bad dates

You can’t expect everything out of the gate. Sometimes, you will have to go through the painful process of experiencing some bad dates. Maybe they really aren’t that bad, but they ended up being a complete waste of time. Try to look at it this way — you’ve had some practice and practice is always a good thing.

If you’re not interested after the initial date, the best is to either stop communicating, or just tell them that you’ve decided to move in ‘another direction’. If you went out on a date with someone that you were interested in, but they weren’t reciprocating the sympathy and warm feelings, all you need to do is move forward and forget about it. It’s really that simple.

It takes time to find your match

You will need to be extremely patient while pursuing love in your 40s. You can always settle or jump into a relationship just to do it, but how will you be completely satisfied or fulfilled? It’s best to take your time while dating and looking around for love. You should go out on some dates, but go in slowly.

Try out some different dating sites and apps to see which one is giving you the most positive results. If you’re not having any luck with one site, try out a different one. The key is to be patient with your love life, so that you won’t end up in another dead-end relationship (like your last one).

Be prepared to mix families (or pets)

Most of the single women out there have already been hitched, or likely have some kids from a previous marriage or relationship. Be prepared while you are dating that you will end up mixing families with her, if things work out. Do you see yourself taking care of 3 of her kids while she’s away? You need to ask yourself these questions beforehand, so that you won’t end up trapped in a mess. I know that she looks hot and everything, but what if she has a few kids from a couple of previous relationships? If you love kids, that’s fine, but you need to understand what you’re willing to take on and handle within a serious relationship.

In addition to her kids she may have 10 cats or 3 doggies who are very aggressive with other guys or other dogs. If you have a dog, how will the dog get along with her pets? These are real living situations that you will need to consider. Don’t let love or lust blind you from the fact that your future is looking like you’re running a puppy kennel and picking up doggy doo-doo or cleaning the kitty litter at her place. Oddly enough, many guys overlook these kind of scenarios, until they feel trapped within their newfound relationship.

You will need to deal with their exes

Anyone in their 40s has a love history, and you’re obviously going to have to deal with their exes. Be prepared for psychotic ex-boyfriends who are still jealous of your date, exes who will judge you or despise you or exes who may be deadbeat dads. You will also need to be prepared for your new partner possibly being jealous of your ex. Not everything is rosy after a new relationship, but hopefully things will work out well for you.

It may seem like a heavy dose of reality, but these are important situations that you will need to think about and consider before jumping into that new relationship. Obviously, your love will need to be the priority, but as we get older, the more baggage we all have, and you have to ask yourself if you can live in this new situation or environment. If you can, great! You’ve likely found a good match for yourself!

These are some of the different scenarios to expect and be prepared for while you’re dating in your 40s. Take your time, have fun, but also be aware of how your life will change, and try to imagine your new future. If you imagine something positive and sunny with your new partner down the road and it gives you warm and fuzzy feelings, you’re probably in the right place.

William is a graphic designer and creative writer. One of his favourite interests is reading books about relationships. He recommends ‘How to Succeed with Women’ and Doc Love’s ‘The System’. He has two adorable children that he enjoys spending time with. William is currently single and is preparing for his next relationship. You can follow him on Twitter.


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