Ladies, it’s time to stop consulting the wrong people for advice when dating men and start learning for ourselves which pearls of wisdom to take on board and which whiff of bullshit.
When it comes to love and dating, there are no rules. There are, however, tips that will help keep you sane through the process. Whatever situation you find yourself in, here are a few bits of advice that I wish I knew from the beginning, and now I am sharing them with you.
1. Spark his curiosity on the first date
First impressions set the tone for the rest of the relationship – not to add pressure or anything. A first date can have all the potential in the world if you’re compatible and give romance a chance to do its thing. If you are interested, you want to appeal to his curiosity, spark his attention and keep it. Put your best foot forward in the way you look, smell and approach your potential date. Let him talk, be polite and save your intrusive line of questioning. Basically, be the best version of your fabulous self.
2. Meet in public and trust your instincts
Throughout the years I have heard a multitude of first date horror stories. Some are hilarious, some are downright creepy, and some might just put you off dating for a very long time. The point is, (especially on the first few dates) you don’t know who you’re meeting. The whole purpose of dating is to get to know one another – in reality, you could be meeting the local serial killer. This may sound dramatic, but in this day and age trust is a rare thing to find and should be earnt and not dished out. Don’t go home with him, meet in public and make sure a friend knows where you are going. Safety always comes before fun and feelings.
3. Leave your past experiences behind
Whether you like to admit it or not, your exes have influenced both you and your future relationships. You should definitely be learning from each encounter, but don’t let your new partner take the fall for your ex’s mistakes. New partner equals to the clean slate so treat it as a totally unique experience from the last. This is not to say you should proceed without care and caution, but why ruin a potentially good thing? If you’re still hurting from the last relationship, you’re not ready for the next one. It can be daunting leaving a long-term relationship and getting to know someone new – getting used to a whole new personality and building a foundation for a relationship. The trick is to get yourself out there (when ready) and have an open mind when you go.
4. Don’t judge a book by its cover
Don’t pass up on a golden opportunity because of shallowness. Many women focus on a perfect idea of love and romance and may even have a pre-planned image of her “prince charming” in mind. Ladies, he does not exist. Real men with quirks and flaws do, however. Restricting your chances because of his looks, the amount of money he earns, his race or class is essentially shooting yourself in the foot. The key is to distinguish what qualities are a necessity and what are ideal. So that long checklist of a perfect partner that you’ve got? Bin it. Love knows no bounds or restraints.
5. Know your worth
No relationship is worth sacrificing your sanity. We are currently living in the dawn of the f*ck boy so let’s face it – it’s a minefield out there. Knowing your worth and expecting a standard of being treated will help you to filter out the time wasters – don’t be afraid to kick him to the curb! There’s plenty more out there to choose from and in this day, dates are more accessible too. You may have thought you’d be married with a family dog and two kids at the age of 25, but that doesn’t mean that things won’t fall into place in their own way. Be patient and please, don’t settle for mister Wrong.
There are countless gems of advice that you will hear throughout your life, but to be honest, it’s what you do with it that really counts.