It is true what they say, history has a way of repeating itself. And the same goes for dating. If you look back on your own dating history, it’s likely you have a type and your ex’s have similarities. So if you’re not doing so well in the dating game, being with the same type of guy over and over could be the reason. Maybe it’s time to look at the people you are dating and see how you can break your dating pattern.
But what can you do to change it up? If this sounds like you, here are some ways you can adapt your approach to dating to see if breaking your dating habits can make a positive difference to your love life.
If you have the habit of picking the wrong people, why not get someone else to pick someone for you to date? Sometimes an outsider has the best perspective in what you need. You could meet a certain type of person that you may not have necessarily met when looking for yourself (every friend knows that one single guy that just isn’t right for them but may be perfect for you) and it means you can’t be held back by being picky. So get a friend to set you up with one of their single friends and have yourself a blind date. It could be the scariest thing you’ve ever done (no one wants an awkward dinner with a stranger) but it could be the start of something special and you’ll be nothing but thankful to your friend for playing cupid.
It’s hard to meet new people as it is, never mind people who are completely different to who you are usually going for in the dating game. So find out when and where your local singles events are and get yourself along. I know it may sound like your biggest nightmare, but what’s the worst that can happen? Some bars hold cracking single events that aren’t awkward or cheesy and you just have to think at least everyone there is in the same boat and have the same goal at the forefront of their mind. You’ll meet new people, it’s an excuse to get yourself dressed up and it is another night out that you would be otherwise spending in alone. Put your positive pants on; you could meet the love of your life at the next local speed dating event, or you’ll at least have a few stories to tell about attending.
Lower your expectations
The older we get and the more time we dedicate to dating, the longer the list gets in terms what we are looking for in a partner. So lower you expectations of the person you are hoping to meet. That may sound negative; like you should settle for something that isn’t right for you, but that’s not what I mean. No one is perfect and no matter how many times Disney tells us we will meet a Prince Charming and live happily ever after, it doesn’t make it true. Have a few set details you are looking for that are important to you when it comes to dating and stick to those. For example, looking for someone who is kind, or driven, or independent other than someone who doesn’t have a weird mole or a habit of putting bare feet on the coffee table (is that just me who gets driven mad by that?). Small habits can be dealt with, personality traits can’t be changed and that’s what matters when it all boils down to dating.
As much as we hate to admit it, in the modern world we need technology to date. So many people date online these days whether it be throw a website or just an app on your phone. The stigma that was once attached to finding love via the web has disappeared, so much so that nearly a 1/5 of couples meet through some kind of online platform. So download that dating app, create a profile and get flirting technology style.
Break your rules
It is hard to break your own dating habits, especially if you are not sure where you’re going wrong. But try and notice a pattern in your dating, take time to establish what your usual rules are and break them. Never fancied blondes? Go out with one. Not particularly attracted to people with beards, swipe right instead of left. That short guy in your office who is the nicest guy in the world but is a tiny bit smaller than you if you had heels on who has asked you out a million times but you’ve always turned him down because of it? Schedule a date with him. Dating without a type of guy in mind leaves the window wide open in who you could potentially date, and that’s nothing short of exciting.
Take (and give) chances
Breaking your dating rules moves swiftly on to taking chances. As soon as you start looking at dating from a new perspective you need to start taking dating risks. These do not have to be huge or life changing. But it takes time to really connect with someone and see if you’re right for each other. So do not limit yourself to one date. Try two or three meetings to see if you guys click.
In addition, don’t automatically eliminate a potential date just because of limitations you have set for yourself, because usually those limitations have come from a place that makes no sense and has no impact on your compatibility with a person.
Whether you feel like you want a different dating experience, or you’re just sick of being let down from a similar type of guy, mixing up your dating style can only have a positive outcome. You’ll meet new and interesting people, you’ll have a fresh outlook on dating and you could potentially start a relationship with someone you never would imagine would be for you. People are forever full of surprises, so go and get a little surprise for yourself.