11 Reasons Why a Dream Girl Said “No” to Dating You

dream girl

You see a girl that catches your eye. You decide to go up to her and start a conversation. You’re flirting with this dream girl and using your best lines. You decide to ask if you can get her number and take her out sometime. How often does that girl say yes to you? When she says no, do you know the reasons why?

Often, there are things you’re saying and doing on an unconscious level (meaning, out of your awareness) that may be pushing your dream girl away.

How do I know what I’m talking about? I’m a Clinical Hypnotherapist. No, this article isn’t going to teach you how to manipulate your way with a woman. I use my superpowers for good. This article is going to instruct you how to get that first date with the dream girl who caught your eye. I will teach some basic subliminals on how you can stop unconsciously repelling women away and start to pull them in, instead. Ethically, of course.

The other day I was riding the bus and this young man started to flirt with the pretty lady sitting next to him. Right away I cringed because I could tell she was unimpressed and he was wasting his efforts. Plus, he was talking loud enough the entire bus could hear, so, naturally, I couldn’t help listening in. He made several common mistakes that resulted in the girl saying “no” when he asked for her number. Yup, she said no and the whole bus heard it.

I’ll teach you those errors and the negative subliminal they have on the girl you’re after, plus I’ll show you how to flip that subliminal into a positive. They’re simple to change and by doing so, you will dramatically improve your results, landing yourself a date.

1. You are talking about yourself too much

This guy on the bus kept telling pointless stories about himself, as if the girl needed to get to know every detail about him. There’s no point of sharing your life story to someone whom you’ve just met. Frequently, guys try to impress a girl by telling story after story about themselves, thinking it is a clever way of showing a girl how great they are. No matter how epic that story is, save it for a few dates in.

Negative subliminal:

You’re self-centred.

Tip:

Instead, ask her questions about herself. Switching the focus shows that you are curious about her (let’s be honest, you want a date with her, so show her you’re interested). Ask the right questions, too. Avoid the generic questions like talking about the weather. Definitely avoid anything too personal. Ask unique questions that are along the lighter side of things. Starting with a compliment is helpful. Here’s an example, “That’s a unique necklace you’re wearing. It looks beautiful on you. Is there a deeper story behind it?” She may start to get into a conversation with you about how she likes to make jewelry in her spare time and there you go – the conversation is flowing, plus you’re learning about her.

Positive subliminal:

You’re an intelligent, thoughtful and caring man, who knows how to strike up a good conversation.

2. You can’t read the mood

The guy on the bus would be telling boring stories about himself, and the pretty lady would politely remark things like, “Nice,” or “Great.” Here’s a big hint: if the girl replies with one word answers – she’s either not interested or her mind is elsewhere (not on you!). Even a shy girl will form a sentence if she’s into you.

Negative subliminal:

You’re clueless.

Tip:

If she’s on her phone or overly looking elsewhere (anywhere to avoid looking at you), she’s not interested in you. Signs of interest are: frequent or long-held eye contact, especially if she’s smiling at you and playing with her hair (major indicator), physically leaning towards you and asking questions about you. That being said, eye contact does not mean consent. Just because she glanced at you once from across the room, doesn’t mean she’s into you. Know the difference.

Positive subliminal:

You can read the mood.

3. You are talking about your ex

The guy on the bus repeatedly talked about his ex. I could tell he thought he was being sly about showing he’s single by doing this. Wrong! It creates awkward tension.

Negative subliminal:

You’re un-datable and have relationship issues with loads of baggage.

Tip:

Stop the “Ex” talk. It’s unnecessary, until, possibly a few dates in, if at all.

Positive subliminal:

You may be single and can be alluring.

4. You’re talking to her as if she’s a guy

Bus boy mentioned some problems he’s going through and how everyone in his life currently hates him.

Negative subliminal:

You are a troubled mess, everyone hates you and so should she. You’re telling her, “Run far away like everybody else is doing!”

Tip:

While honesty is always best, remember less is more upon first meeting someone. Give her reasons to want to get to know you. This happens by asking about her! I know it seems counterintuitive. Trust me on this, it works.

Positive subliminal:

You’re interesting and there’s something different about you, perhaps she’ll have to find out more on a date!

5. You’re being overly aggressive

Is every third word out of your mouth a curse word? If you make your life look like a big, messy problem, the girl will do everything to steer clear of you. You’ll never find a girl wanting to date you because you have so many problems.

Negative subliminal:

You have anger issues, are trashy and your life is a mess.

Tip:

Use nicer language. Still be yourself, however, keep the harsh language to a minimum. Sadly, manners are rare these days, which means having some will help you to really impress her (bonus!).

Positive Subliminal:

You are put together with class and manners.

6. You are coming off too strong

And I don’t just mean the smell of your cologne (1-2 sprays is more than enough- if you overdo it, you’ll push people away merely because they will need room to breathe!). Avoid leaning in too close to the girl, or touching her arm too much as you speak.

Negative subliminal:

You are pushy, ignorant and uncomfortable to be around.

Tip:

Give her space, be charming with your words and let her move towards you in her own time. If she’s interested, she’ll come closer.

Positive subliminal:

You are comfortable to be around and you care about her comfort.

7. You’re playing games

And yes, I’m aware of “The Game.” These days, people’s BS radar is going off fairly frequently. Be the reason a lady’s BS radar can rest. Stop the games and be an adult.

Negative subliminal:

You are sleazy, disrespectful, desperate and have lame moves.

Tip:

When you care about someone’s feelings and well-being, the other person can usually feel it and it will draw them in on an unconscious level.

Positive subliminal:

You’re caring and have integrity.

8. You have a weird look in your eye

Are you looking at her like she’s a piece of meat or nervously darting your eyes all over the place?

Negative subliminal:

You make her nervous.

Tip:

Breathe. Be calm. Do your best to have a natural conversation. Be confident in yourself. Every girl is attracted to a confident guy.

Positive subliminal:

You are easy and enjoyable to be around.

9. You are desperate

Yikes. There is nothing worse and more repelling to women.

Negative subliminal:

You are needy, pushy, clingy and nobody wants to date you, so why should she.

Tip:

Never force a date to happen because that often leads to relationships that have serious issues. Accept the possibility that despite your best efforts, she may still say no. And that’s OK. When a woman senses that you don’t need her, she will be more captivated by you, as odd as that may seem. When you are willing to let her decide whether she wants to see you again or not, it creates a sense of freedom for the woman and she’ll be more likely to say yes.

Positive subliminal:

Yo are confident with or without her, which is sexy.

10. You are conceited

Nobody likes someone who is full of themselves.

Negative subliminal:

You only care about yourself.

Tip:

Pay attention to what the lady is saying. If she says she likes taking her dog for a walk, later in the conversation you can bring that up again. This shows you pay attention. Also, it’s always a plus to remember her name and use it throughout the conversation. Make sure you pronounce it correctly. Ask her, if need be.

Positive subliminal:

You’re mindful, sweet, considerate and a genuine person.

11. You asked to give her your number

Ick! When a guy gives me his number, my mind has immediately made up that I’ll never call him.

Negative subliminal:

You lack confidence and initiative.

Tip:

Women like confident men who can take charge. Ask if you can see her again or take her out sometime. When she says yes, then get her number. If she says no, respect that. Still be polite and thank her for her time. She may even change her mind when she sees how kind and unbothered you are by her saying no.

Positive subliminal:

You’re confident, respectful and well-mannered. Who wouldn’t want to date a man like that?

Once you understand the basics of the subliminals you are giving off, you’ll be ready and prepared to correctly use them and help you get a date with that dream girl. Avoid thinking too much about it – just be aware of yourself in the moment. You’ve got this!

 

Kirsten is a Clinical Hypnotherapist, Speaker and Author in Vancouver, Canada. She helps people to get what they want in life by using the power of the subconscious mind. Currently, she is working on her upcoming book, “Power Now: How to Step into Your Most Powerful Mind Instantly.” Get a free copy of her book at FeelingPowerful.com.


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