You have probably been told that finding your future partner in a bar or a club is a big no-no, and in all honesty I would say it’s not the best of places. Regardless of this, I believe that it is possible to find love in nightclubs – provided you are in the right environment with the right people.
Here are five steps that I believe can help you meet somebody serious in a nightclub.
Don’t get fixated on finding love
Although you will always have this in the back of your mind, do not let finding love be the sole reason you go out in the first place. Having this mind-set will only set you up for disappointment if you don’t find what you are looking for.
There is never an excuse to be desperate when it comes to finding someone, as people would tend to settle for less than what they deserve. You could end up going to a club intending to meet someone, and jumping into the arms of the first person you meet that shows the slightest bit of interest. It takes a bit more than a brief conversation to know whether the person is right for you.
Make plans with a group of friends you know you will have a great time with and organise the perfect night out together. Your friends and you could go out for dinner, and catch a gig at a venue nearby afterwards. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you guarantee that you will have a good night out, regardless of whether you meet someone or not.
Pick the right club
Picking the right club is imperative as different clubs attract different types of people. For example, most commercial nightclubs (I’m talking about the ones with chart music, hired dancers etc.) attract the type of crowd that only attend clubs to get drunk and take people home.
Choose a venue that has a special event going on that night, such as a particular band or DJ playing – that way, you will automatically be part of a crowd that has similar interests to yourself. At most of these events, the majority of people attending are doing so for the sole reason of seeing that particular band/DJ play. If you do happen to speak with someone, not only will you have something in common (icebreaker!), but you know that they are out to have a good time rather than finding someone to sleep with.
If you aren’t a big music fan, do not worry as there may be somewhere out there perfect for you! You could try looking for specialised venues, such as jazz bars or cocktail bars. Do be cautious, as the “wrong” types of people still attend these venues as well.
Cliché as it may sound, but I would recommend being yourself. Just speak about anything of interest – ask them where they’re from, whether they live in the area etc. Just general chit chat, asking questions that can give you small fragments of their personality.
In this type of situation, try not going home with them/trying to get them to go home with you. It’s much too soon and I believe it would be better to meet up with them again in a different setting to really know what their personality is like.
If you’re too intoxicated, try chatting for a bit, exchanging numbers and leaving them, saying you will text them the next day. This way you can avoid any embarrassing things you may say or do that you wouldn’t normally do if you were sober. Of course, if you aren’t prone to embarrassing yourself when drunk, then chat away! Your aim is to give off a good impression of yourself and gather information on them to assess whether you could get on with this person in the future.
Meet their friends
Make an attempt to say hello to their friends and maybe even introduce your friends to theirs. By doing so, you will be able to tell if your friends could get along with them, which is a great start for relationships!
By meeting their friends, you may be able to gain some insight knowledge into their personality, or even assess the type of people they are. It may seem harsh to judge them so soon, but in this type of situation you have nothing to lose by doing so. You need to know whether these people are people you feel you could get on with in the future. Whose better at judging this than yourself?!
Ask your friends what they think about the person you like, and encourage them to speak to them. I believe the impression they give off to your friends is extremely important, as the ones closest to you are the ones that will give you their honest opinions and advice.
After the night has ended and you have gone home (alone!), be sure to speak with them the next day. If you fancy a chatting to them, then drop them a text first – regardless of whether you are male or female! All this rubbish about waiting for them to text first is ridiculous. If you want to speak to them, just grab your phone and a simple “Hi, it was lovely meeting you last night” never hurt anybody.
It’s silly to think you appear “desperate” if you text them first. You are merely trying to speak with them because you want to get to know them! If you are shunned for doing so by them, then you’ve dodged a bullet because this person must be so full of themselves that they aren’t worth pursuing.
Remember, if they did not like you, they would not have given you their phone number so take the first step forward and speak. The worst case scenario is they don’t reply, so you have nothing to lose. At the best case scenario you will prove that everybody who were telling you that you can’t find love in nightclubs were wrong.