How to Become Confident in Dating

become confident in dating

Confidence is a virtue that we are not all born with. True confidence is the result of faith in yourself and belief in your possibilities. The only way to increase your confidence is to practice being confident. Every day, you can learn new things and develop your abilities.

Dating is also something that you should be practicing because the only way that you will be able to enhance your dating skills is if you study dating and try it for yourself. You can enhance your love life in many ways, but you need to start with taking a close look at yourself and examining how you relate to others. Here are some steps you can take to become confident in dating.

Love your own company

There is so much about you that is loveable. If you have not stopped to consider all of the wonderful things that you have to offer to the world, you should make a date with yourself. Taking yourself out on a “date” does not have to mean that you get dressed up in your fanciest clothes, but you could certainly dress up if you want to. After all, you deserve to impress yourself! However, you can of course take a more relaxed approach with regards to giving yourself a date. Your date can be in your home or it can be out on the town. The point is that you need to celebrate being you.

A solo date is a chance to have much needed quiet time. Maybe you will just be eating a meal and reflecting on what you want in a partner.  Or, perhaps you will focus your time on listing your achievements to yourself and appreciating the person who you are now. You could also use your solo date time to plan out your goals. It is important to love yourself and enjoy your own company because if you don’t enjoy the time you spend with yourself, you will have difficulty convincing someone to date you and enjoy spending time with you.

Learn from the experiences of others

There are so many people on this planet who have experienced the feelings of uncertainty and anxiety that daters face. Dating is not always easy, especially if we are not sure if we are with the right person. If you are in an unhappy relationship you have two choices; you can stay or you can go. But if you go, you will never know if the relationship would have improved if you had stuck it out. And if you stay with your partner, you will never know if you are missing out on relationships and opportunities that are better suited for you.

Through talking with other people, reading articles (many, many articles), watching shows, and having conversations with other people, I have learned many lessons about love. Sometimes in relationships, you need to stay and work things out. Other times, you need to keep your eyes wide open and not ignore the red flags. Those red flags are warning signs that you should not overlook. One of my friends tells me often that throughout time, he has developed the intuition to know when it is time to let someone go in his life; and he has few regrets about pulling the plug on a friendship or a relationship. When he sees a pattern of dysfunctional behaviour in someone else, my friend ends his association with that person and he rarely reaches out to that individual again. Being proactive will help you to become confident in dating  and enjoy your dating journey.

See the bigger picture

The fact that there are billions of people on the planet who have been disappointed in love should serve as motivation to you! You are not alone. Other men and women have made mistakes, had to start over, had to rebuild, move, and find love again. You can choose not to date at all, but what would be the fun in that? I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine who is thinking about breaking up with her boyfriend. My friend is older than me and she said that because she is in her late 40s, she feels too lazy to start over and find someone new.  What is interesting is that my friend has been dating her current boyfriend for 6 months and before she met him, she was single for a few years and was not sure if she should start dating again.

I remember when my friend was telling me about how excited she was about her new guy who she had met on a dating site. Was she ever happy! She looked better, seemed happier and more hopeful, and she inspired me to take action in my life as well. A few days ago when we were discussing the current state of her relationship, I told my friend that she should take the plunge and start dating again. Sometimes, we have to fight the urge to be lazy. We need to avoid throwing in the towel. Sometimes, our disappointments are not setbacks. You can choose to use your disappointments as setups for your greatest comebacks! Your confidence in yourself and in dating will increase when you put in even 5 minutes of effort each day in pursuing your relationship goals.

Keep in mind that you are the common denominator in all of your relationships. You are aware of everything that you went through to be the person who you are today. There might be some victories that you have experienced in your life that you may have forgotten or dismissed. Right now is the perfect time to remind yourself about all of the things big and small that you have achieved. Think about the people who decided to change their romantic situations and how much happier they are! There are many individuals who took brave and bold steps to give themselves the lives that they wanted. You need to appreciate your own company, learn from others, and be proactive about making the right decisions. Practice your flirting skills and appreciate your personal charm! Keep your eyes wide open while you are dating. Trust in your intuition and don’t ignore those red flags. By taking a leadership role in your decision making instead of just leaving things to chance, you will gain the skills to become confident in dating and pursue the relationship that you crave.

Akua is a Canadian born and raised girl with Caribbean roots. She is a journalist, actress, music teacher, performer, owner and marketer of 3 worldwide dating websites, as well as an independent Pure Romance business owner selling passion products for singles and couples.  Visit her website  AkuaHinds.com to learn more about her.


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