They say it’s the ‘most wonderful time of the year’, but it can feel like the strangest few weeks when you’ve split from your best friend and romantic partner. That’s why I’m providing you with a trusty handbook that I hope will help you enjoy Christmas just as much as you would with a partner. Here’s five top tips on how to get over an ex that will make this Christmas one to remember, for the right reasons.
Give the gift of love
I warn you now that seeing other couples exchanging beautiful and expensive jewellery will rub salt in the wound. But fear not, there’s an even better gift you can give and receive that will feel just as good – love! Anne Frank told us that no one ever became poor by giving the gift of love, it’s priceless and contagious. So, meet your friends for drinks. They are the family we choose. They are the ones who stuck by you in your toughest times, when others didn’t. They are the ones who believed in you when you didn’t believe in yourself. In fact, they are the ones who planted the seed of ‘maybe he’s not the one’, but you did it anyway because “he might be!”. True friends now won’t be saying “I told you so”, so thank them for choosing you, make them feel special and you will too.
Look good, feel good
Confidence is attractive. It’s true, when you look good, you feel good. Someone once told me that a smile is the most beautiful thing a girl can wear. You might feel good with a man on your arm, but you’ll feel even better in the dress of the season and killer heels. Trust me, you can’t go wrong with an LBD. There is no reason why you shouldn’t treat yourself to that gorgeous number you’ve seen in Miss Selfridge because you’re worth it. If you can’t splurge on a stunning new outfit in the Crimbo holidays, when can you?
Delete the number
As hard as it might be to delete your ex’s phone number from your phone, it will take the ‘drunk text’ temptation away. With social media all around us, block them on Facebook and unfollow them on Twitter too. Don’t torture yourself by scrolling through their Instagram feed. I know you tell yourself ‘it’s just a quick look’, but when you see him at last weekend’s hot tub party, you’re only wounding yourself.
Plus, we all know that Grandma’s sherry gets stronger every year and that it only takes a tipple and you’ll have fumbled through your phone contacts before you know. So, do yourself a favour and delete him. Don’t just nod along and agree with me now, do it because once you’ve had a little too much and sent that “It’s Christmas and I miss you” message, there’s no getting it back. You broke up for a reason, whether you know it or not. Instead of flicking through their social media and dangerously keeping their number, block them completely. Stop reminding yourself of what the two of you used to have and let me remind you what you have, and will always.
Christmas is short, and so is life. That might sound incredibly morbid and a little bah humbug, but it reminds us – or it should – where our roots lie. Spend time with your family, be with the ones who love you for you because that’s the most important thing. That’s what Christmas is about.
Visit the family you never manage to see, because of distance or other family tensions. Help your Mum with the shopping or Dad with the lights. T’is the season for love and understanding, so I guarantee it will make them smile. On the big day, don’t just stand there with your glass of red and tell her you don’t want to get in the way. Christmas is about pulling together, so get stuck in. They’ve been there all year round for you, so if you’re recently single, don’t focus on who you’ve lost because family’s always a winner.
Find a hobby, find yourself
When one door closes, another one opens. The end of your relationship means brand new opportunities and exciting new adventures. They say you should go and ‘find yourself’ after a break up and I guess I agree. At first it will be a time-filler to stop yourself going crazy and convincing yourself the two of you should totally get back together. My personal recommendation is this. You shouldn’t, which is slightly brutal but everything happens for a reason. That’s also slightly cliché, but it’s true. No one knows what is round the corner, but that’s what’s so exciting. The list of talents you could find within yourself are endless.
Taking a holiday somewhere hot sounds particularly appealing, but not all of us have that luxury to be able to just do that. That doesn’t mean there isn’t a solution. Start meditating, join a book club, take up a sport. Pick one and run with it. From personal experience, meditation does you the world of good. Ten minutes of your day will de-stress, relax and motivate you within your very core. At first, you might not think it’s worth it because it will take time to become a member of a local sports team, especially with the brand new kit you’ll have to fork out your dosh for. But it is worth it. With the right attitude, you’d be surprised how soon you begin to realise that the only person who can make you happy is you. Let me explain. Meditating will help you realise that nothing is as bad as it seems. Joining a book club will open your eyes to a whole new world that, if you’ve never been much of a bookworm, you didn’t know existed. Signing up for a sports team will show you how important you are, that you belong and that you are really quite talented.
So now you know how to get over an ex and that you don’t need a man to make the most of your festivities. Try each of those tips out, make this season all about you and go find yourself. Meditating, joining sports teams and buying new clothes? Some might sound cliché, or you’ve heard it all before, but you’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain!