Personal Space in a Relationship: Positive Ways to Disconnect

personal space

Sometimes a relationship will drive you absolutely crazy. Perhaps you may feel trapped you need some personal space, or maybe you want to fix your relationship, but you don’t know the techniques and how to do so.

There are actually positive ways to disconnect yourself from the reality of a tumultuous relationship. The more at peace you are within yourself, the better you will be able to conquer the issues and stress within your relationship.

Men usually need personal space within the relationship to recharge their batteries, and focus on fixing the issues that caused the argument (or focus on the football game in the man cave, for that matter). When a woman tells you that she needs her personal space, it can be a red flag, and this can indicate low-interest level in you. You better act fast, and do exactly what she wants. Give her space, even if it means you hide from her under the dining room table.

Respect the need for personal space

Your only chance of ‘winning her back’ is to give her the space that she needs. There’s no reason that you should beg for a woman to stay (there’s really nothing more unmanly) or want to hold somebody who no longer desires you. By doing it you will only make her continue to play mind games with your brain and heart.

Perhaps she took some space to clear her mind about your relationship, and she has thought out some strategies to improve your connection within the relationship. In this case, you most likely want to work with her on building a more solid foundation for your love life together. You will want to try to prevent this from happening again, otherwise, you will have to deal with her taking more space sometime in the future.

If you need your space from her, take it, but you need to reassure her that you still love her. Try to explain that you want to go watch football, hang out with the buddies or do things that interest you.

Balance togetherness and freedom

Togetherness is very important, but space is important as well. Some people even prefer living apart in a relationship in order to keep their personal space. It’s a balance, and you need to make sure that you both have individual freedoms within the relationship. The woman should feel free to take a Girls’ Night Out on the Town, the guys should take ‘guy time’ either alone or with their buddies out for drinks. You don’t need to monitor your partner like a janitor. Give them the benefit of the doubt and trust them. Continue to do this periodically, and hopefully you won’t notice any red flags.

It’s certainly best when you are both getting along in the relationship and enjoying time together. After all, that’s clearly what a relationship is all about, but there will be moments of not getting along after you get through the initial lovey-dovey playfulness of getting to know each other and discovering each other through your special connection. The relationship will need to endure time, and the true test will be living together.

Personal space is good for any couple so that you don’t end up with heated confrontations. Sometimes, the more time that you spend together, the worse it tends to get and the more relationship challenges you encounter. It’s best to maintain the balance in a relationship, so that your partner is not feeling overly neglected, but you still spend some time alone or with your friends.

Take a time-out to clear your head

If things are getting heated, and there is a lot of arguing within your relationship and a power struggle, you will both need to take a time-out. It’s best that one may remain home, and the other go away for a while. This is a positive disconnection, because you’re not going to stay in the hot kitchen while it gets much worse. You are being positive and removing yourself from a potential disaster and avoiding relationship mistakes that you might regret later. Space can be a healthy thing within the relationship. After you both cool down, you can come back to planet earth, and resume the normal daily relationship operations.

Taking a walk can be a good thing to clear your head, so that you don’t end up saying something to her that you will inevitably regret, and she will save it in her Pandora Box Data Bank for her to remember and bring up in future arguments with you. Avoid texting her if you’re really upset. It’s never a good idea to put your negative emotions in writing. Reading an interesting book can be another great escape, or perhaps you want to fire up a video game or something like that. She should let you escape her, and not follow you into your private area or man cave. If she does follow you, while you are both upset, try to leave the situation for a while until it simmers down.

After a time-out, having a heart-to-heart with her and apologizing to her could really benefit you. Women will rarely apologize for their actions… If she does, try to compliment her for apologizing (like, thanks honey, I really appreciate you reaching out and saying that you’re sorry), and give her a hug to show her that you’re a supportive and loving guy.

Personal space is very important within a relationship, so try to maintain balance within your loving relationship. It is beneficial to pursue something that helps to take your mind off of an argument or a drastic dip in the relationship. Relationships can be like stocks. They can be very volatile, others are smooth sailing, some flatline, some tank. You just want to use some strategies to keep everything flowing smoothly so that you can enjoy each other’s company, and keep the passion and love flowing.

Image: flickr

William is a graphic designer and creative writer. One of his favourite interests is reading books about relationships. He recommends ‘How to Succeed with Women’ and Doc Love’s ‘The System’. He has two adorable children that he enjoys spending time with. William is currently single and is preparing for his next relationship. You can follow him on Twitter.


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