Your parent’s birds and bees talk wasn’t the best. Your current sex education comes from your own experiences, what you read on the internet, and what you hear from your friends at brunch. You feel confident that you know enough about sex. Then your friend tells you that the guy she is having sex with never uses condoms because he is allergic to all of them. You think to yourself that this can’t be true, or is it?
That’s where I come in as the sexpert. I am here to bust common sex myths you always believed in. Before we go any further, let me clear up the myth about condoms. Some men are allergic to latex condoms but they can use polyurethane ones instead. If any guy tells you they are allergic to condoms, ask them if they have a latex allergy. If so, there are other options, but not when it comes to your right to have protected sex.
Myth 1: Size matters
Have you ever noticed how men obsess about penis size? At a young age, males begin to compare and question the size of their penis. They are forced to share gym showers and urinals together, which means that despite their best efforts they do compare themselves to one another. That is where porn doesn’t help the comparison because these actors aren’t a fair representation of most men. Many men in these videos have large penises, which can cause a guy to feel inadequate. For some men, it can affect their sex lives because they may have awkwardness or anxiety about their size. Often, this converts to them thinking that the person they are with won’t be satisfied with their size.
Listen up guys, it doesn’t matter how big or small you are, what matters is what you do with it. Also, knowing what not to do with it is important. I’m sure you have heard the saying that it’s not the size of the boat but the motion in the ocean. Maybe less focus on size and more focus on touching a woman in all the right ways? Most guys don’t know what touch feels good to a woman or that each women experiences pleasure differently. Then there are the guys who spend a minute on foreplay and then go straight to the vagina. Guys please stop focusing on size and learn how to make a woman feel good. She doesn’t care anything about your size. She wants you to be confident, take charge, spend time on foreplay, and know what makes her satisfied.
Myth 2: You can become addicted to your vibrator
You may be surprised at the number of women who think that you can get addicted to a vibrator. I’ll tell you right away: it is impossible to be addicted to a sex toy. This doesn’t mean that you may prefer it over sex with a partner or use it each time you masturbate. This is different than being addicted to it. Most females are able to reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation, so it’s no surprise that a vibrator or other toys are the things they go for.
However, if you continue to use it the same way all the time you may see a loss of sensation. Don’t worry, it’s not something you lose forever, it will return. To prevent this change up how you use the vibrator. For example, if you always use it on the same spot, try using it in a different area or use your fingers with the vibrator. The goal is to change it up every now and then. Don’t let your fear keep you from enjoying what feels good to you. If this is causing a problem with a sex partner, be sure to figure out what the issue is. Are they telling you that you are addicted to it? Do they get their feelings hurt when you ask to use it during sex? This may be a sign that there are other issues within the relationship and it’s not the actual vibrator.
Myth 3: Your sex life is over because you have an STI
According to the World Health Organization, 1 million people acquire sexually transmitted infection (STI) every day. If you have been diagnosed with an STI, you are not alone. This isn’t a death sentence for you or your sex life. I worked with a woman who recently found out she acquired an STI from her ex-boyfriend. She was devastated on many levels and she couldn’t imagine ever having sex again. She shared how she felt dirty and would never be intimate with another person. As time passed, she was able to work through her negative feelings and find acceptance of herself. She learned everything she could about her specific STI and the importance of safe sex. After several months, her knowledge about STIs and acceptance of herself left her feeling empowered.
If you have an STI know how it can be transmitted through vaginal, anal, or oral sex. Be aware that certain STIs are transmitted through giving and receiving oral sex. Hepatitis A, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, oral herpes, genital herpes, and genital warts are a few examples of this. There are ways to reduce the chance of transmission of STIs. Take responsibility to protect yourself and your partner. Use non-lubricated latex condoms, polyurethane condoms, dental dams, or cut a condom into a square to use as protection during oral sex. Don’t forget to talk with your partner about your STI and ways to reduce the chance of transmission. Just because you have an STI doesn’t mean your sex life is over. Through increasing your knowledge and education you will see a return to intimacy.
Sex myths run rampant in our society because we don’t have enough open discussions about sex. People’s views, perceptions, and judgements lead them to think many myths are actual truths. You now know the truth about size, vibrator use, and that STIs aren’t the end of sex as you know it. Keep your ears open to other sex myths and challenge yourself to find the truth behind them.
Do you know any other common sex myths? Share them in the comment section below!