7 Actions You Need to Take to Increase the Female Sex Drive

female sex drive

From magazine covers to advice columns there is always information for women about sex. New positions, toys, and how you can have better sex can feel a bit overwhelming at times. Whether you are single or in a relationship, the conversation that you need to have is the one with yourself. How does your sexual health stack up? Are you ready to get the conversation started? Here are seven actions you need to take to increase your female sex drive.

1. Get active

There is a correlation between frequent activity or exercise and sexual health. When you are active whether it’s cardio, lifting weights, or group classes you are improving multiple areas that will enhance your female sex drive. It helps decrease stress, increases blood flow to your lower body, and promotes flexibility. All of these are a win-win for your physical, mental, and sexual health.

Don’t have time for a workout? Leave your excuses at the door by going for a walk, stretching while watching television, hiking with a friend, or any activity that gets you moving. You don’t have to go to the gym for an hour every day to see the benefits. A few days per week of activity will provide you the results you are wanting to achieve.

2. Get outside your comfort zone

If your days are running together and it’s difficult to separate one day from the next, then it’s time to change things up. Having the same daily schedule or activity can be monotonous. It also can cause you to lose your zest for life. When it comes to the female sex drive, it is essential to get outside your comfort zone.

Have you been thinking of trying a new technique or position? What do you find arousing that you wish you could do? Just thinking of these things will provide benefits regardless if you act on them. Examine how you can get outside of your comfort zone and try something new. Your sexual self will thank you.

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3. Decrease your stress and worry

Don’t jump to the conclusion that you can’t decrease your stress and worry, think about what you can do. You have the power to change how you are feeling based on your thoughts and beliefs about the situation you are facing. If you are experiencing stress due to your job, school, relationship, family, finance, or friendships, examine what your thoughts are about the situation. Ask yourself if you are rational or irrational about your expectations of the situation.

Some women find that having sex decreases stress and other see sex as anxiety producing. A high level of stress and worry can negatively impact how you perceive yourself sexually. It can lead you to struggle with self-confidence and create a negative narrative about yourself. Try identifying your feelings, examine your thoughts about the situation, and changing any irrational narrative to a rational one. Doing this will help decrease your stress level.

4. Increase your self-esteem

Do you know a female who has good self-esteem? What is it about her that leads you to think this? Maybe it’s how she carries herself, how she reacts to situations, or that she doesn’t second guess her decisions. Think about how many of these qualities she has that you possess.

Increasing your self-esteem can give you many benefits to your female sex drive. If you feel more confident about yourself, it will translate over to your sexual self. When it comes to the act of sex, don’t get hung up on smells, noises, or any other negative thoughts you may have about yourself. The goal is to feel confident and good about yourself more days than not. You aren’t expected to have perfect self-esteem every day of your life because that is unrealistic. Cut yourself some slack and realise how amazing you are.

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5. Just do it

Many women have an unrealistic expectation that you have to be in the mood for sex. If you only had sex when you are in the mood, you may go for long periods of time without it. Think of how you feel about working out. Do you only work out when you are in the mood? You probably go for a workout even when you don’t feel like it, but you feel better afterward. Think of viewing sex this way. There may be times where you aren’t in the mood, but once you start, you begin to enjoy it, and maybe you feel better afterward.

This doesn’t mean that you have sex when you don’t want to or that you haven’t consented to. This is only when you want to have sex and feel connected but aren’t in the mood. Try it the next time you want to connect with your partner but may not be feeling in the mood. Look at how you feel afterward. Are you glad you gave it a try?

6. Explore your fantasies

All women have fantasies, but they aren’t the same. This means that there are too many fantasies to count, so you probably have had a few in your lifetime. Maybe your fantasies aren’t sexual. Your fantasy may be to have a partner that meets your needs. However, if they are sexual it’s a good idea to spend time thinking about them.

Most women like the idea of a story, scene, or characters in their fantasies. This allows women to create fantasies that can help them fuel their desires. You have to be the one to decide if you will share your sexual fantasies with your partner. In this decision-making process, think about if sharing these will help or harm the relationship. One of the benefits of sharing your fantasies with your partner is that it can add desire just by talking about it. You both are experiencing trust and intimacy at the moment which can benefit your sexual health.

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7. You are what you eat

The food you consume can have a significant impact on your female sexual drive. Food is fuel so think about the types of food you eat daily. If you eat a lot of carbohydrate-rich foods you may feel bloated and stuffed. Who would want to have sex when you are feeling bloated?

Some women struggle with emotional eating. This is when you choose foods that will make you feel better in the moment. These foods and the action of eating them is a coping skill to deal with emotions that you may be experiencing. No one eats vegetables when they are feeling down. It’s common to reach for high sugar and carbohydrate-rich foods that will provide comfort. If you are an emotional eater, begin to identify feelings you have associated with food choices. Give yourself healthy options to choose from. Your sexual health will thank you.

There isn’t a right or wrong way to find your healthiest sexual self. Think about what your needs and desires are in relation to finding a balance. Look at what areas you can improve in so that you feel better about your sexual self. Remember that you aren’t improving your sexual health for anyone except yourself. You are the priority.

What can you do today to increase your female sexual drive? Share your thoughts in the comment section below!

Kristie is a clinical sexologist, psychotherapist, and author. She specializes in relationships, sex therapy, and gender identities. Kristie helps people improve the relationship with themselves and others. When she isn’t working with clients, consulting, or writing she enjoys spending time outside. She loves surfing, running, yoga, traveling, and reading.


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