Do you know the most important thing that can improve your sex life? It is also a top characteristic that many people look for in a partner. The answer is a sense of humour. This isn’t someone’s ability to tell a joke. It is their ability to make you laugh and smile. If someone can make you laugh then you know you will have fun with them.
When was the last time you laughed so hard that your face ached afterward? You probably have a memory or can think about a person who makes you smile. If you don’t realise the power of laughter in your sexual relationship, then you are missing out on a powerful tool. Here are 5 ways laughter can improve your sex life.
1. Strengthening bond with your partner
Laughter during intimacy flood the brain with ‘feel good’ chemicals. Serotonin, cortisol, endorphins and epinephrine are produced in the pleasure-seeking center of the brain when you laugh.
For example, you accidentally roll or fall off the bed during sex. You and your partner laugh hysterically at what happened. During this time, the chemicals of happiness automatically flood the brain. You laugh at yourself and your partner because of their reaction to laughter. You are left feeling high and connected to your partner. Then you jump back on the bed or your partner joins you on the floor to continue what was started. This is how you bond with your partner and you don’t even realise it.
2. Building trust within a relationship
Showing your vulnerability within a relationship can be difficult. Your fear may be preventing you from being vulnerable and relaxed during sex. Your fear may surface in your thoughts which lead you to ask the following question: what if your partner sees you being exposed and you get hurt in the process?
Humour in your relationship helps decrease your fear by building trust between you and your partner. For example, during sex, you feel relaxed and are enjoying the intimacy. Your body makes an awkward noise that causes you to stop as you look at your partner. If he looks back at you smiling, your body will relax, and you smile back. If you start laughing at what happened, they will too. Your trust level increases at that moment with your partner. You now have evidence that when something happens, that could cause you to feel embarrassed or fearful, it is likely your partner will smile back at you. Intimacy and trust are built in these types of moments.
3. Sex becomes more enjoyable
Whether it is pressure from demands at work, your to-do list, or your struggle to take time for self-care, the world stops for no one. You have to find ways to stay balanced as a whole person. A healthy sex life is one way you can do this. The good news is sex doesn’t need to be serious. It should be a time where you can relax and have fun. Laughing during sex can add a big bonus. Just as the world outside your bedroom can be serious, intimacy can be too if you allow it.
Take advantage of situations during sex to laugh, smile, and have fun. For example, if your partner makes a funny face during sex, smile back, and tell him how much you like it. He may laugh at the compliment which in turn will cause you to laugh. This may seem obvious but, be sure to avoid laughing at any insecurities that your partner may have during sex. If he doesn’t like something about his body, don’t try to joke about it. This could have the opposite effect you are looking for. Keep things light and fun. Don’t be serious during sex, enjoy yourself, and do anything you can to help your partner feel relaxed as well.
4. Boundaries get lowered
You can use humor to improve intimacy by seeing it as a way to lower your boundaries. If you are having sex with your partner then it is safe to conclude that you do trust him. If you trust him you can lower your guard during sex. You know that he will not hurt you during sex so give yourself permission to explore your sexuality and interest.
You now know that laughter during sex is welcomed and encouraged. Take a step to share with your partner what things turn you on. Even if they are outside the lines, share them with your partner, and remember to use humour to introduce new ideas and sexual fantasies. If you keep it light and easy then you are giving your partner permission to laugh at any suggestions. Also, ask your partner about his thoughts, fantasies, and interest. Just talking about these can be arousing for both of you. Allowing permission to laugh during these talks greatly increases trust within the relationship.
5. Science supports the benefits
As if you need more evidence of how laughter can make your sex life better, science also supports it. Many studies show the benefits of laughter. From the increase in levels of ‘feel good’ chemicals to areas in the brain that light up on magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scans, laughter has many benefits.
Laughter is a social emotion and can be contagious. When your partner tells you about something funny that happened at work, you will laugh along with them. You may even experience uncontrollable laughter and find it hard to stop laughing. This has a domino effect and will cause your partner to laugh harder as well. In this very moment of sharing the experience, you are bonding with your partner. This causes trust and intimacy with your partner to increase. When this happens, the ‘feel good’ chemical levels rise, and you have a cycle of continued connection. This powerful reaction occurred because your partner shared his experience with you. One funny experience can lead to building a more solid relationship.
Your ability to laugh with your partner is a crucial indicator of how healthy your relationship is. You can enhance trust and intimacy by allowing a space for more positive emotions with your partner.