You thought that your past relationship was over and those feelings of sadness over it had finally disappeared. After a period of mourning, you gradually adjusted to your new normal. Your tears are fewer and farther between, and you are smiling more than you used to smile. The thought occurs to you that you are moving on, and you give yourself a mental high-five. The idea of finding a new partner crosses your mind every now and again and it seems more appealing.
And then, you start noticing that your ex is popping up in your life a lot more lately. At first, you thought it was kind of random that your aunt casually mentioned to you earlier in the week that she bumped into your ex at the mall and that he asked her if she had seen you lately. It also seems odd that your ex has been reaching out to you more via text, just to say hi. But still, you wonder what it all means. This is what it means; your ex is cautiously testing the waters to see if you two have a future with each other again. Here are five signs that he wants you back but is scared to say it to you.
1. He does passive-aggressive things
Years ago, I was happily single after parting ways with a man who I used to be involved with. This guy was someone who I had not completely forgotten about, but I was not actively pursuing him. I thought that he was not actively pursuing me either, but somehow, I received random texts and phone calls from him. Whenever I would ask him why I was getting these phone messages from him, he said that he hadn’t meant to contact me and that it was all a misunderstanding.
Looking back, I see that this guy was playing mind games with me. He wanted to see how I responded to him, but he did not want to be true and open so that we could discuss possibly reconnecting. If your ex is trying to get you to notice him in subtle ways, he is doing this because he wants to be in your life but he does not want to risk getting rejected by you.
2. He keeps in touch with your family and friends
When two people break up, they sometimes fight over who has custody of their mutual friends. However, it is generally understood that you leave with the same friends that you entered the relationship with. When your ex insists on communicating with your friends and family members, it is a clear sign that he is not ready to completely let go of you.
One of my exes still keeps in touch with some of my friends on social media even though we broke up years ago. I mean really… It has been years and he is still trying to reach out to my friends who he would never have met if it had not been for our relationship. There is no reason for your ex to still be holding on to the connection he had with your loved ones unless he hopes that by holding on to people who are close to you, he is holding on to you as well in some way.
3. He reminds you of the good times you both shared
Taking trips down memory lane seems to be your ex’s new favorite hobby these days. He keeps texting you, calling you, and reminding you about all of the things in his world that still remind him of you. Your favorite restaurant, the way you brush your hair, and the special concert that the two of you enjoyed together are always on his mind.
By reminding you of the good times that you both enjoyed together, your ex is trying to cement his place in your heart. He wants you to remember your relationship was not all bad and that there may be good enough reasons to try again and get back together. Your ex is realizing that your relationship could have worked out differently in the past.
4. He blames his texts and calls on the alcohol
It always seems to be a butt dial when your ex-boyfriend’s phone number shows up on your phone. Or at least, that is the excuse that he always gives you. For some reason, your ex-boyfriend always blames his mistakes on the alcohol.
But is that really how it is, or is it just that your ex-boyfriend is trying to test your feelings for him? He knows that you would not respond to his strange texts and voice messages unless you were mildly curious about what was happening in his life. And your ex knows that if there is a spark of interest there, he could find a way to persuade you into giving him another chance.
5. He brags about how well he is doing
There really is no reason for your ex to let you know about how well his life is going unless he wants you to regret not being with him anymore. When a man is secure with his life and his decisions, he feels no need to broadcast his every triumph and success. And really, no man who cared about your feelings would tell you about how perfect his new girlfriend is and ask you if you wish you were still the main woman in his life.
You do not need to be with a man who is pushing your buttons like this. Men who brag about themselves are immature. If your ex-partner was truly over his relationship with you, he would not seek you out to tell you how much better his life is now. If anything, he would be avoiding you and focusing on his future if he was genuinely content with the way his life was going.
If you found yourself in one of those described situations, these are the signs he wants you back but is scared to admit it. Only you can decide if reuniting with your ex-boyfriend is the right choice for you. Some relationships are much better when the couples decide to try again, and other couples who choose to rekindle their past relationships find that they should have left the past in the past. Whatever you decide to do, it is important not to allow your ex to play mind games with you. When a man is truly serious about reconnecting with you, he needs to approach you with humbleness and with confidence. You will feel more secure about reconnecting with your ex if he communicates with you directly about his desire to get back together.