After the first date, you may want to know what’s going on. Does he like me? Is he infatuated with me, or even better yet, obsessed with me? Despite your high expectations of how the date went, or how much he likes you, you may want to know the signs that he’s not really into you. Perhaps you’re having some doubts or you’re feeling mixed signals about how your first date went. I hate to burst your bubble, but I’ll give you six signs that he’s not interested after the first date.
1. He cuts the date short
If he cuts the first date short and asks for the check early, he’s likely not into you. There is a slight possibility that he cuts the date short to try to pique your interest level in him (some guys will do this), but most likely he’s got other things to do that are more important than you. Pay attention to him during the date. Does he look bored, is he checking out his messages on the phone or even worse – the booty of the waitress? Is he not paying attention to you? Maybe he’s watching the football game over your head, or eating the dinner that is much more interesting to him than your presence? If he asks for the check early and gives you some urgent excuse, this is a red flag that he’s not interested in you.If he cuts the first date short and asks for the check early, he's likely not into you. Click To Tweet
2. There are no hints for the next date
If there is no discussion of future plans or plans for the next date ahead, he’s likely not interested. If a guy really likes you, he imagines future dates with you, he romanticizes about seeing you next, he feels infatuated with you, and he will often make future plans as soon as he can. Most of the time, he will ask you what you’re doing next weekend, or if you have any plans for the upcoming month. A guy who is into you will ask you what you’re doing next week and will make plans to see you again for a second date. He doesn’t want another guy (the competition) getting in the way of his happiness with you.
3. He stops texting you
If you were texting with him frequently before the first date, and he stops texting you afterward, he’s probably not interested in you. Many people will do this after the date (regardless of the sex) if they’re no longer interested. Being on the date, you will see each other in person, rather than virtually. He may decide that he’s not as attracted to you as he initially thought. Usually, if a guy has fun on the date with you and is attracted to you, he will text you within the next few days. “Hey… I had a great time with you! Would you like to go out again sometime soon?” This is a common text after a good date. If you get nothing, he’s either waiting and trying to raise your interest level in him (say a week or so), otherwise, he’s just not interested. If a week passes, you will probably want to throw in the towel. You can always follow-up with him with a text if you wish, but most guys will initiate the communication after the date if they have high interest level. If you’re being ghosted, he’s likely onto the next date with a different woman that he finds more attractive.
4. He makes lame excuses
I prefer honesty with guys, but if he’s a real wimpy guy, he’ll make excuses for why he can’t see you again. “I’m going to be really busy with work next week… I’ll call you.” Then… he never calls or contacts you. A guy who is interested in you will make time for you, no matter how ‘busy’ he is in his personal life. A guy with low interest level will make excuses: I’m going out of town, I’m not ready for a relationship yet, I have to travel for work. Whatever the excuse is, he simply doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, so he will make some lame excuses why he can’t see you anymore.
5. He stands you up
I really think that this is extremely rude behavior, but some guys just won’t show up for the date if they aren’t into you. Rather than simply texting you, “I’ve decided to go in a different direction,” or “I’m not ready to date yet,” he will rudely stand you up. So you’re all dolled-up waiting for your prince charming around the corner, who happens to be a total douche who never even shows up. It’s best that you don’t let this bother you, and move on with a guy who will respect you, be considerate, and treat you well.So you're all dolled-up waiting for your prince charming around the corner, who happens to be a total douche who never even shows up. Click To Tweet
6. He mentions other women
Most men who are the player types won’t mention other women during your date that they may be seeing. If he does mention his friend Vanessa, it’s a red flag. He’s obviously being stupid possibly bringing up another woman that he’s seeing on the side. If he insists that he’s simply ‘friends’ with her, you can trust that if he doesn’t call you after the first date, he’s probably getting cozy with Vanessa at her place. Most guys won’t mention other women during the date and will be secretive about other women, but if he stupidly spills the beans about Vanessa during the date while he’s supposed to be paying attention to you, you probably want to give up on him. He’s probably not interested in you, but if you want to compete with other attractive women for his attention — go for it. Otherwise, refrain from punching him in the face, and leave the date immediately for your own sanity and peace of mind.
7. He doesn’t want to commit
If he complains to you that he doesn’t want to commit, this is another red flag. He’s just not manning up and telling you that he doesn’t think that you’re a good potential fit for him. He’s distracting you by telling you that he doesn’t want a relationship, and he’ll probably end up ghosting you. If he truly likes you, he’s obviously going to schedule you in for the next date, and eventually (down the road) talk about a new relationship with you. Your best move is to not take it personally and move on with a guy who will give you his proper attention and talk about a possible future with you. Not being ready to commit is a weak way of saying, ‘I have low-interest level in you’.
8. He’s a total flirt
If you see him on social media flirting with multiple women online after the date, he’s likely not into you. If he flirted with the waitress while you were out on a date, he’s still looking around. Not only is he looking around, but he was being extremely disrespectful to you! Why would you want to see him again, when he acts like a total flirt with other women? If you noticed that his eyes were darting around the room during the first date, and he wasn’t listening to you, he’s likely looking around for someone else. If he was paying a lot of attention to his phone during your last date, he was probably being rude to you. My advice would be to block him from your phone (in case he ever does call you or text you again).
9. You are not getting his attention
If he doesn’t seem very excited or engaged with you, he probably isn’t. If you’re not getting his attention as much as you’d like to, he’s probably not that into you. If he’s not into you, he’ll make his personal time priority, and you’ll feel like his last resort. I don’t understand why guys do this, but sometimes they just need women in their life, regardless of how into you he is. Maybe he just wants to talk to you for a female perspective on other women and dating. Maybe he thinks about you as more of a friend. Whatever the case, his behavior is showing you that he’s not into you.
10. He makes no effort
If he’s not making any effort on the next date with his appearance, or if he could care less about what he does with you, he’s not into you. If he makes zero effort to get to know you better or if he just isn’t paying enough attention to you, he’s likely blowing you off and thinking about his future with a different woman. Maybe he was just feeling lonely and needed to spend time with someone (you) that evening. A guy who’s really into you wants to get to know you better and he wants to be closer with you emotionally and physically. You should make him feel excited to be with you. He may be a really attractive guy, and you may even have some feelings for him (and hopes), but pay attention to his behavior as well as his looks during the second date. You want to be with someone who will respect you and who can’t wait to spend time with you. If you’re having a gut feeling that he’s not into you after the date, he probably isn’t. The best thing that you can do for yourself is to forget about him and find a guy that you will vibe much better with. Dating should be fun, after all!
These are some common signs that he’s not into you after the first date. It’s best to just chalk these dates up as experience (however bad the first dates may be), and seek a guy that you deserve in your life, and who makes you feel loved, important, and special.