Oh, the boredom of swiping. Spend your Saturday night out on the lash and Sunday morning slowly but surely coming to the realisation of the adventures of last night. Sadly, this doesn’t involve exciting, spontaneous, one-way ticket to somewhere hotter and more exotic than Britain. You’ll be spending the pain of Sunday morning flicking through the guys or girls on a dating app that you matched with last night. Some of them you’re not quite sure why you swiped right and some, let’s be honest, you’re flattered you got a match. But you take it, because Tinder dating app gives you a confidence boost, and right now you need that and an aspirin.
Who’s got the bottle? Because you did last night
Does the guy or the girl message first? Are you desperate, showing genuine interest or just plain bored after nine Friends episodes now it’s reached 4pm? And even if you choose to take the bull by the horns, you’re now in a very dangerous position; a china shop. There are three worst possible responses. Firstly, you won’t get a response (#blanked). Secondly, you get a response and it’s either dull and conversationless. But don’t worry, if their response was nothing more than “yeah good, you?”, you probably haven’t missed out on much. Of course, the third and final worst situation is that they insult you. But don’t worry about this either, this is a rarity. The best situation is what happened to me. They respond nicely, your conversation ignites and you end up dating your matchee.
“A Little Less Conversation”, not in this case
So, things are going well. You’ve managed to speak to one matchee in particular for a couple of weeks or so. Obviously, it does depend on what your intentions happen to be on a dating site. If you’re only looking for a one time thing, fling or quick meaningless hook up, it’s a little different compared to someone who is looking for something more than the physical. If, for argument’s sake, you happen to be the latter and you’ve found yourself in a conversation that you are now happily gripped in, you’ve reached the next stage. The ‘number switch’ is upon you. Who asks first? Traditionally, it’s the guy isn’t it? Does Tinder dating change things? Has it encouraged the girl to step up and take some control when she needs to? Or should it stick to being the role of the male to correctly judge the timing of the conversation and offering her his digits? If he does, he stands in the danger zone of rejection. Ah, the land of potential ignorance is a precarious place to be. Keep your head up, smile, breathe, hope. At least Tinder keeps you safe from that wound that a ‘read’ receipt bleeds.
You’ve made it to the ‘big meet’. Congratulations! No, seriously, not many make it safely this far. You’re an exception. But that means you have to play your cards even better now. You never know, you might end up ruining the potential of a very beautiful beginning of a fairytale. Never say never. So, you’ve both acknowledged the name of a town you might both be able to access this week. “See you there”? I think not. Oh, the planning and safety preparation that a girl (or guy) goes through for a date. There’s the ‘Where?’, the ‘When?, the ‘Which of my best mates do I tell in case I’m abducted?’, the ‘What are we doing?’ and oh, of course, ‘What do I wear?’
Who, what, where, when?!
The name of the local town just isn’t enough. You need a specific coffee shop, because believe it or not people on Tinder actually do meet for coffee not just the sex. Anyway, you need the exact venue so you can arrive 10 minutes early. It’s not that you’re that keen, it’s so you can find somewhere nearby in a partially hidden spot to hover and wait, before you mentally psycho-analyse your date from 10 feet away from you. Are they the love of your life or are they showing potential ‘WEIRDO!’ signs and you need to abort ‘big meet’ mission and send an awfully apologetic cancel text message? Then, there’s the ‘When?’. Meet at a reasonable time, 11am not 11pm. Now, who do you tell?
In terms of the best friend slash life saver, you absolutely have to tell someone just in case it all goes wrong, your date kidnaps you in a dodgy, smelly and more than likely stolen van, and you have to send a ‘SOS, he was fit but he’s put me in a van and I don’t know where I’m going’ text on your iPhone with the train ticket that you so generously purchased because ‘he might be the one’ even though it was a £10 return (but you probably won’t be returning unless your mate is a secret spy in a previous life, how exciting!) Tell one of your best friends, the where and the when. And ideally a friend who lives local. Best scenario is your best friend ‘accidentally’ being there too #spyfortinder.
Miscommunications and best wishes
Date activity agreement is crucial to obtain pre-meet up. Imagine it now. Your Tinder date is under the false impression that ‘getting a hot chocolate’ is a euphemism and you’ve assumed you’ll be flirting about the ‘cream moustache’. Who’s the joke now? Don’t be fooled, clarify the innocence of ‘deux chocolate chauds s’il vous plait’, ASAP. First date outfit is tricky. Revealing enough to attract him but you don’t want to look tacky. A dress is a challenge, as is a skirt. Then there’s the heels problem; what if he’s shorter? Nice blouse, white jeans and those new converse you totally didn’t buy for this occasion. He won’t be able to take his eyes off you. Good luck! If all goes well, you’ll be meeting the parents in no time. But that’s a blog for another day.