What’s Stopping You From Finding Love?

cant find love

Are you growing frustrated with your dating life? Do you think that you’re going to grow old alone, and never find that true love that you desire? It’s time to finish that bad date that didn’t work out for you, and put your dating life under close examination. Why you can’t find love? Why does it feel like everything is working out badly for you, while your friends seem to have good relationships or marriages?

You are too busy with your job

I completely understand making your job and career success a top priority. It’s probably more convenient for you to work overtime at your job than trying to plan a date night? I get it — but you need to make time for searching for love or dating. Maybe you need to spend more time swiping on dating apps, chatting and getting to know potential love interests, or scheduling dates. If you’re not putting in the effort (even if it’s a half an hour a day), you’re most likely going to get the same results. Take a little break from your career, and focus on your love life.

You are afraid to lose your freedom

One of the primary perks of being single is that you get to call all of the shots, you have the luxury of freedom, and you don’t need to compromise with your girlfriend as you would in a relationship. Does losing that independence and freedom scare the hell out of you? You’re in your comfort zone, and you may be afraid of the consequences of dating someone. I understand the fear of inheriting other ‘baggage’: dating someone new, mixing finances and introducing each other’s families. There may be a fear of commitment that exists, and perhaps you don’t even realise it. I suggest taking it slowly, take it one date (and day) at a time, and don’t worry so much about a future that hasn’t manifested itself yet. If you’re not enjoying your new date after starting out fresh, keep in mind that you can always change direction for yourself.

You are scarred by past relationships

Keep in mind that every relationship is different. Just because your previous relationship ended up in disaster, doesn’t mean that your present or future relationship will suffer from the same fate. Hopefully you learned from your previous relationships, so that you won’t repeat the same mistakes, or you will be more cognizant of what personality qualities work in a partner. Think about your desires and needs. What kind of new relationship will give you that loving feeling of fulfillment, enjoyment, and happiness? What qualities are your priorities in a partner? Maybe you dated an alcoholic in a previous relationship, and you desire a non-drinker? Do you want a woman more adventurous or fun, or do you want more of a structured, flexible, and laid-back woman? You should be thinking about these questions and even writing them down somewhere. Always remember and refresh yourself about what kind of love you’re looking for.

You are being too selective

Being selective is a good thing, but are you being overly selective? Are you on a dating app looking at photos, and you think to yourself that you don’t want to date her because of something that she stated in her profile? Maybe you don’t want to date another blonde because the previous blonde that you dated ended up hating you? By all means, listen to your intuition, but perhaps you need to lower your standards a bit, and give some woman a chance. Just go out on some dates, and get some practice. It’s ok to be picky with your love life, but you may want to open yourself up to new opportunities with different women.

You don’t want to get hurt

Obviously, when it comes to love, wild emotions and uncontrollable urges are at stake. Perhaps you’re so in control of your life now that you don’t want that extra drama of dating someone or being in a relationship. Maybe you’re afraid of getting hurt again, or hurting someone who is in love with you. Whatever the case, you’re afraid to get your feet wet and jump back into the dating pool. I would suggest going out on a few dates to either help ease the pain from a previous relationship, or see where it takes you. Maybe someone will surprise you.

You’re not ready to date yet

When you’re not ready to date, this will affect your love life. I went out with a woman before who was really cute, but it seemed like she just wasn’t over her ex. She even told me that she was seeing a therapist about her previous relationship during the date! Instead of trying to push things with her, I realised that she needed more time. It’s perfectly natural, and I needed a lot of time in the past to get over the pain of my previous break-ups. When you want to date, but you’re truly not ready, it will often show during your dates. Make sure that you take the necessary time to let your heart heal before you start dating again. Even if you’re not completely over your ex, I’ve known people who have come together out of emotional support that begins with simple friendship, so this is absolutely possible.

There are many different factors or situations that may be preventing you from finding romantic love, and perhaps you’re not even aware of them! I hope that this article will help you find your love barriers when it comes to your love life. Do some soul searching, take some time, and understand the reasons why you can’t find love. This will be the first step towards the positive change you desire.

William is a graphic designer and creative writer. One of his favourite interests is reading books about relationships. He recommends ‘How to Succeed with Women’ and Doc Love’s ‘The System’. He has two adorable children that he enjoys spending time with. William is currently single and is preparing for his next relationship. You can follow him on Twitter.


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