When it comes to women sexuality, the narrative most often portrayed is that of a desperate undesirable woman on a quest to find her one true love. Upon meeting her lover (a heterosexual man of course), all of her inhibitions will give way to deep dark desires that unlock the natural sensuality that laid dormant within her all along. I will admit that as a teen I found such fairy tales to be romantic but now, as a grown woman, I know women don’t need inspo from the opposite sex to tap into their feminine wiles. Here’s a list of nine creative ways to awaken the inner Sex Goddess within you to celebrate your very own sexual je ne sais quoi.
1. Self-care & exercise
Self-care and exercise set the foundation for sex goddess-ness. What do I mean by self-care? Ask yourself what are some of the things you enjoy doing that remove stress from your life and make you feel good, then try to incorporate those activities into your life on a regular basis. Try to eliminate unnecessary stress in your life and keep the bigger picture in perspective when it comes to everyday nuances. Besides the obvious health benefits that come with regular exercise, taking care of yourself internally promotes a sense of achievement that will keep you feeling good about yourself no matter the dress size you wear. An established exercise regimen will subconsciously lead to better nutritional habits that will create a sound body and mind that you’re happy to show off, touch, and be touched when the mood strikes.
When choosing a workout plan, choose an activity that you actually enjoy and will be consistent with. Any physical activity is better than none at all.
2. Change your hairstyle, often
A new hairdo seems low on the radar of feeling like a sex goddess but believe you me it’s everything! Hairstyles say a lot of us as people, especially as women, and luckily with the creation of wigs, we can say whatever we want. For an instant pick-me-up buy yourself a hand full of wigs that make you feel bold, sexy, and unlike your everyday real hair or hairstyle. The new look will make you feel new yourself, like a character with the power to be whoever she wants to be in and out of the bedroom. The best things about wigs are that they are so inexpensive compared to the cost of visiting a hairdresser each week, and nowadays they look much more realistic than the hair pieces your grandparents wore in the 70s so don’t be shy about wearing them in public either.
Synthetic wigs are budget friendly, and lace front wigs will give you a more realistic hairline. Soak synthetic wigs in fabric softener+water solution to rejuvenate the piece when it becomes dull or stiff, and detangle wigs using a wig tooth comb to prevent excess shedding.
3. Start a lingerie collection
Whenever I hear the word “lingerie,” I used to hear the sounds of a cash register ringing relentlessly but not anymore. If buying expensive tiny pieces of fabric floats your boat then be my guest but there are more budget friendly wise one can employ when it comes to starting a sexy lingerie collection: thrift shops. Before you become disgusted by the idea of wearing another woman’s panties, let me assure you that I’m referring to silky slip dresses and satin robes. Lingerie doesn’t always have to be overtly sexy, and the “less is more” rule need not apply in this situation. If wearing a skimpy two piece makes you feel erotic go for it but simply getting in the habit of wearing special silky pieces period, even those on the conservative side, will make you feel more desirable over time.
Start a lingerie wish list with you favorite online store for shopping inspiration before you hit the resale shops and future splurge purchases.
4. Create a sexy vibes playlist
Building a musical playlist for your listening pleasure is one of the best things you can do to get your sensual groove back when you want to unwind while dressing or undressing. Downtempo electronica is a great genre of music to listen too for sexy vibrations as most of the musicians that create this type of music tend to use sensual, feminine vocals and slow body rocking beats for the majority of their songs.
Create a space in your bedroom that reflects your sensuality. Investing in a vanity table set where you can prepare yourself would be ideal. Adorn the area with silky scarves, perfumes, lotions, glamorous jewels, floral bouquets, etc. that inspire you to spend more time in the mirror reflecting (and accepting) your beautiful self.
5. Watch feminist porn
Self-pleasure (aka masturbation) is healthy for you, allows you to discover new sexual sensations about yourself, and knowledge about your likes and dislikes empowers you. When it comes to visual interests, porn filmed by a woman or with a woman’s pleasure being the primary focus will hit all the right spots mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Heterosexual or not, watch real lesbian porn, which typically focuses on realistic emotions & dialogue, sensual kissing, licking, soft caressing, and spectacular orgasms. Lesbian pornography featuring real life lesbians, captured with a feminist perspective, also tends to be more inclusive with multi-race women of all ages and sizes which will make you appreciate women’s natural bodies (and your own) much more than mainstream porn ever will.
6. Read books about sex
Reading a steamy romance novel before falling asleep is a good way to get your juices flowing but don’t limit yourself to traditional erotica such as romance novels. There are so many types of literature that explore sex that most don’t consider such as adult comic books, coloring books, instructional books, fetish oriented novels, and naughty poetry.
Read erotica on your own, and maybe read a few chapters out loud with your lover now and again for sexy pillow talk time.
7. Write your own erotica
Reading naughty written works is awesome, but no matter how good of a tale you read, chances are you could probably write a story or two of your own that gets your blood flowing. The short stories or novella you write doesn’t need to be perfect, they are for your own enjoyment so let loose when it comes to storylines, characters, and locations. Write these fantasies in a notebook while listening to that sexy vibes playlist even, and be sure to store it in an unsuspecting nook if you would like your thoughts to remain private.
Should you believe your stories are worth publishing there are plenty of self-publishing websites that can transform your raggedy journal into a showcase leather bound XXX book that you could keep for yourself or pass amongst your friends (using a ghost writer’s name) for honest feedback.
8. Start a sex journal
A sex journal is not the same as writing your own erotica. Erotica is usually fictional, but a sex journal contains real past or present experiences, answers to thought provoking questions, and opinions of self-image. Because a sex journal asks questions that help one discover more about their sexuality I recommend buying a sex journal rather than making your own.
Go online and research the key phrase “sex journal” and you can easily find professionally crafted journals for sale to make this option less stressful.
9. Join online forums
Notice I suggested you join online sex forums, not chat rooms, as forums tend to attract those interested in actual discussions and advice regarding sex. The only thing you’ll find in a majority of chat rooms is people looking to get off from anonymous dirty chat or photo/video exchanges. If you’re interested in intellectual conversations about sex or seeking sex advice forums is the best way to go. Many online adult novelty stores have free forums people for those 18+ of age with thousands of like-minded members that you can befriend. After a while, you’ll begin to realise that you’re the one dishing out sex advice and sharing personal experiences that help uplift others.
When getting or giving advice online, remember to be responsible. Use professional & medical resources when researching subjects. When giving advice provide a disclaimer that whatever you’ve advised is opinion based, not a substitution for real professional & medical opinions. Lastly, remember the golden rule, don’t judge or shame others for sexual preferences you may not share as you wouldn’t want the same done to you and most group members will single you out and straighten you up real quick if you come off as a bully. Don’t be that person.
Employing all nine creative suggestions to awaken women sexuality on a regular basis will keep you feeling sexually empowered year round, no matter your age, weight, race, or whatever issue that may sometimes hold you back from being a sexy Sex Goddess inside and out!