online dating tips

You’ve heard that online dating is the way to go these days, but is it really for you? Will online dating be the place where you meet your future spouse?

Perhaps you have heard the statistics. Although there is a huge increase in people using online dating services, there are now more singles than ever, with numbers hitting around 50% in North America and the United Kingdom. So should you even bother?

Yes, of course!  Online dating can lead to marriage. But it is important to approach the process with these 7 online dating tips in mind, otherwise you might end up wasting a lot of your precious time and not getting any closer to creating your happily ever after.

1. Be clear before you begin

Clarity is key to success. What type of partner do you desire? How do you want to feel in your relationship and eventual marriage?  This is not about being ‘picky;’ this is about consciously attracting and creating a relationship that is going to meet your needs.

You don’t have to waste your time going out on a lot of dates to learn what you like and what you don’t. Take some time in advance. Grab a piece of paper and a pen, think about your ideal mate and how you will feel when you are with them and write this down. Committing your desire to paper is a wonderful process that can lead to magic.

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2. Choose the right site

Not all online dating sites are created equally. Some sites are well known for being primarily ‘hook up’ sites, where others have a mix and then there are ones that are strictly for serious daters looking for a serious relationship.

I have absolutely no judgment of any of the sites; however, if you want a serious relationship that will potentially lead to marriage, you need to be on a site that offers that potential. Think of it like this; if you want curry, you are not going to go to McDonalds and find it, are you? You are going to go to a nice curry restaurant. Just like all restaurants do not offer the same menu, all online dating sites do not offer the same opportunity. Make sure your choice aligns with your desired outcome.

3. Be authentic

Take some time and fully complete your profile. Most importantly, be authentic! Often people leave out interesting or unique qualities or interests because they are afraid or being judged or rejected.

Here’s the thing. In loving connected relationships, partners know and accept each other for who they really are. In fact they cherish the unique things about each other. Now I am not talking about going into every intimate detail in your profile, but if you don’t like football, don’t pretend to as a way of increasing acceptance. If you like astrology or vegan cooking share it because those are special details that make you unique and more loveable.

It is no secret that some people lie about their age, their income, their marital status or other details in their profiles. Don’t be one of those people. Starting a process that is not based in integrity is not the way to a successful marriage.

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4. Upload Current Photos

Now that you’ve taken the time to write your profile in an authentic voice, thoughtfully choose what pictures to include. Yes, of course you looked fabulous 10 years ago, but the purpose of your online dating photos are not to show you at your ‘lifetime best,’ they are to be an accurate representation of your best, beautiful, current self!

Include a face shot without sunglasses as the eyes are the window to your soul. Also include a full body shot. Personally, I could get away with looking tall and slender if I only included photos from the collar bone up, but when people meet me in real life they see that I am only 5’4 with a full curvy figure. Surprises never end well and will certainly not help lead to marriage. I promise. You are perfect just the way you are!

5. Meet as soon as possible

Sometimes everything looks great on paper. Sure, you can find out many details that will help you assess spousal suitability going back and forth on email. You might even be thinking that it is better to make sure everything is right before you invest your precious time going out on an actual date; however, if there is no chemistry, this relationship is just not going to happen! So save your time and cut to the chase. If you think there may potentially be a match, meet in person sooner, rather than later.

6. Trust your intuition

Have you ever ignored that little knowing in your gut because you were afraid of being alone forever? Have you told yourself that you are being too judgmental or picky and you should really be more open? That little niggling feeling is called your intuition and it will never lead you astray. You can choose to ignore it and temporarily satisfy your need of not being alone, but if your intuition is showing you red flags, chances are that this is not the date that will lead to marriage.

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7. Believe in abundance

Are there any good ones left? Or are all the marriage material options already spoken for? Sometimes dating can feel very disheartening. You might feel like you will never find your mate and that you are destined to be alone forever. Trust me, I get it! But focusing on scarcity will only create more scarcity. I want you to shift – now, to a place of abundance! Remember, 50% of people in North America and the UK are single! There is special someone for you and when the time is right and you are ready, you will meet them. In the meantime, give yourself everything you desire from a future partner.

Photo: flickr

Diane is an intuitive love & relationship coach with a passion for helping people discover and unlock what's holding them back from finding and keeping the love they desire.

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