Are you having some struggles in the dating department? Has your relationship encountered some obstacles or you are lacking clarity over particular topics? Send your dating or relationship question to us, and we will get one of our experts to help you out!
I was in a toxic relationship for a few years. I endured mental, emotional, and even physical abuse. My partner called me names, confused me, and mislead me a lot. He even cheated on me with multiple people, one of them being my best friend. That relationship was harrowing. It took me a while to leave, but now I have been out of it for about two years. During those years, I had to rebuild my life. My credit was ruined, and I lost my job when I moved out of the apartment we lived in, so I needed to use my savings to get another place to live. Today, I have a place I love, a great job, and I feel happy. I have been attending therapy and haven't had contact with my ex. I want to start dating again, but I am also afraid to try again. How do I know if it is the right time to start dating after a toxic relationship?
Hi Lizzy, I am glad to hear you have gotten back on your feet and that you are in therapy. I understand it can be scary to try dating again after a toxic relationship. You have no idea who is on the other side of the screen and who you will be meeting when you […]
I don't know what to do about dating anymore. COVID has of course put kinks in going out and safely meeting people, but I also am (admittedly) quite cynical about dating again online and letting that become something. My last relationship was seven years ago and was with an immature girl that I had to teach. I left a little bitter and wasn't interested in dating again until five years later and that was simply getting numbers and flirting in public with girls I found attractive here and there. Nothing long term. Now, I'm not sure. I'm at the age where I handle a shorter-term real relationship because I know what I want and what I can offer. But I don't know if I'm able to open myself up to someone without having one foot out the door. Which is a sign of my generation dating patterns. Please help.
Hi Daniel, Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. Going through a breakup can be brutal, but if we take the right steps, the end of a relationship can be transformational and help us grow into better partners. When we hold onto feelings of bitterness or any negative emotion for that matter, […]
I met Robert a year and a half ago; I trained him to become a district manager. From the moment I saw him, I knew that he would be mine. A few months ago, we started dating. He broke up with me three weeks into it, and then a couple of weeks later, we kissed again, and he broke up again. He said we can't be together because he takes care of his 93 years old father, who had a stroke, so now he is wearing diapers and a bag on his bladder. His mother is 87, and in the early stage of dementia. On top of that, he works fifty plus hours a week. He took me out for my birthday recently to a fancy restaurant, and he couldn't stop starring at me. A few days later, he came over at midnight, and we had an intimate moment. He left an hour afterward. I really love this guy, and I want him back. What can or should I do? Please advise me. He is always so protective of me. He hugs me and kisses me. He is miserable because he is stuck taking care of his parents, and I can feel it and see it.
Dear Sonia, Thank you for your question. I understand that you have strong feelings for Robert, but I would like you to reflect on the level of commitment he is offering to you. According to you, he said, “We can’t be together.” Whatever reasons Robert has for telling you this, he already knows that he […]
My relationship has been going downhill for the past couple of years. My partner and I have been together for over five years, and gradually, we lost the spark. He started spending more time with his friends (or at least that’s what he says) or staying at home and playing computer games. He doesn’t want to go anywhere and do things that we used to do together. He’s cold in bed, and it seems like he lost his interest in sex. I’ve been trying to reignite the spark, make romantic dinners, and invite for weekend getaways, but he is not enthusiastic about anything. I even booked a staycation in a lovely boutique hotel, and he went along just because I said it was non-refundable. I am running out of ideas of what else can I do? It feels like I am the only one who is trying to make an effort. Can you give me some advice on how to save the relationship?
You say that your relationship has been going downhill for quite some time, but I wonder if you have sat down and had a conversation about it? If not, it would be a good idea to talk calmly and clearly about how you both feel. Put some time aside and approach the conversation from a […]
I had a streak of bad luck when it comes to relationships. It seems that I attract emotionally unavailable guys who are self-centered and unable to make a commitment. I am in my mid-thirties and I was in a relationship with three men in the past. Every time I mentioned the possible future together, they drifted away saying that they are not ready for anything serious. With the last guy I tried to put up with this, but relationship without the future was not bringing me any joy, so eventually, we broke up. I am already scared that the next guy I date will be the same. Why am I attracted to emotionally unavailable men? Do available men even exist?
Hi Caroline, I want to first congratulate you on identifying the pattern of your relationships and on breaking it off when a relationship no longer brought you joy. It shows a lot of promise for building a successful relationship in the future. The good news is that available men do exist. And you can start […]
I’ve been trying to find a girlfriend for years with no luck. I am 25 now, and apart from a few dates, I’ve had no success with dating. I’ve tried various dating apps, and while I get a lot of matches and conversations going, it rarely evolves into anything else. When I try to be friendly and invite girls for a coffee, they seem to find all sorts of excuses not to meet. Picking up girls in the bars feels very superficial to me, and casual hookups are not exactly my thing. How can I be successful in dating?
Hi Timothy, This is a really good question! The answer has many layers and involves some work on your part. Here are four tips that will help you to be more successful in dating. Allow yourself to see things from a different perspective and focus on things that are working. If bars and online dating […]