how to talk to women

I exist here as a writer to keep all of the ‘guy stuff’ covered. Guys… We know how to talk to each other. In fact, most of the time, we get along fine with each other without any drama whatsoever. What about talking to those attractive female creatures? How to talk to women? What should we talk about to keep their interest level high in us? We want to have attractive women interested in us; It’s in our DNA as heterosexual males. I’m here to be your guide, to ensure that you will succeed with your attractive female friend.

You nailed the date, now what? Are you feeling nervous? Feeling butterflies about how to be the right way with your favorite gal, so that the date doesn’t inevitably blow up in your face? I certainly don’t know it all… In fact, a lot of the time, women confuse me as well. However, I do have an idea of what women like with guys. How they like to have chemistry on their dates, good times, laugh, and have fun.

You see, women are much more subtle than men. They speak a different language, and it’s called ‘Womanese’. It’s up to you to decode it, and pay attention to their body language. This is very important. Body language is much more important than words. I will explain further in this article.

Ask her open-ended questions

Remember this whenever you get baffled or confused while talking with an attractive woman: ask her the right questions. Don’t ask her questions about yourself, ask her questions about her interests. “Tell me about yourself. What do you like to do for fun?” “You seem very career-focused. What are your goals in your career?” Or make an observation: “That’s an elegant bracelet. What’s the story behind this?” Perhaps you can gently hold her hand while admiring her accessory. Guys — are you getting it? These are samples of questions that you can use to ‘get the ball rolling’ with your conversations. Try to stay away from yes or no questions, and keep them open-ended. You want to get her comfortable with you and talking.

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If she’s into fashion, ask her about her favorite stores where she frequently shops. If she likes pop music, ask her about her favorite artists. If she’s into books, and she’s the intellectual type, ask her about her favorite books or certain books that she’d recommend. You’d be surprised at how women will feel comfortable talking with you after you spark her interest in something that she’s really interested in.

You need to be aware of how many questions you’re asking, and pay attention to her body language and responses. If you ask her a question like, “What’s your favorite restaurant?” and she rolls her eyes at you, and responds with something like, “I like Taco Bell… Duh!” That’s probably not a good sign for you. You need to pay attention to her and be aware of your surroundings as well. If you sense her low-interest level in you, you will need to ‘fuhgettaboutit’ in Good Fellas fashion, and move on with your life.

Keep the conversation intriguing

When you go out on a date, you don’t want to talk about politics, death, sickness, etc. There are just certain things that you will want to stay away from. Don’t tell her about your Drug Rehab, or that time that you accidentally ran over your grandma’s dog. Nothing tragic. You will want to keep your date light and funny. Don’t talk so much about the weather or doing your laundry. You won’t want her to get bored with you. You should be funny. You don’t have to be a comedian, but you want to be witty and funny and make her laugh periodically. Some guys really have this down. It makes them fun to be with in her eyes and experience.

Talk to her about things that bring up pleasant feelings. This will take some probing on your part. You need to analyze and examine her interests, then perhaps you can ask her about something that stirs up a pleasant memory or emotion. When you get women emotional and feeling pleasant while they are with you, you will reap the rewards! It’s best to keep things intimate. Choose a dark and romantic restaurant with candle light, for instance. It’s an ideal atmosphere to keep the intriguing conversation rolling on your date.

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You may look her into her pretty eyes, and compliment her on her dress. “Where did you get that gorgeous dress? You have impeccable taste in fashion! I love that blue color!” She may respond to you, telling you about the beautiful and sunny day when she went shopping downtown at her university, and her shopping at the boutique brought back a lot of fond and sentimental memories of once living and going to school there. If you talk to her, and open up special memories and emotions, you will keep the date fun and memorable.

Listen to her

After you ask her certain questions to peak her interest, you will need to listen to her. This is crucial to your survival! If you’re checking out the waitress’s butt, or drifting off while watching your football game on the TV in the background, you will pay the price! Women like men to listen to them. Give her your undivided attention during the date. Lean into her and show her that you’re interested in what she’s saying. If you’re really into her, you will pay attention regardless.

You can proceed to ask her follow-up questions, or you can simply mirror what she says. Mirroring can work out great for you under certain circumstances. “So that made you feel anxious,” you may reply, or you can reply, “So that made you feel upset,” or you can respond, “So that made you feel loved,” and smile. You usually use mirroring while you’re deep into conversation with her. Don’t overuse it, however, because you will come across as a therapist.

You want to make sure that you’re making direct eye contact with her. Women want to be with confident men who empathize with them. If your eyes are rolling around, or if you look too nervous or too happy to be there with her, you will look weak, unmanly, and not trustworthy. Make direct eye contact with her, be confident, and listen to her attentively for your success during the date.

Decode her ‘Womanese’ language

Women can be really subtle, and they can ‘beat around the bush’ (no pun intended), when they want something. In other words, they won’t directly ask you for things. They may say, “It’s so cold outside,” when they really want to wear your coat, for example. They will say something like, “We haven’t went out in so long…” Do you just sit there like a chump, and not respond? Or do you respond, “Honey, we’ll go out this Saturday Night. I’ll make dinner reservations at your favorite restaurant, then we’ll go out for drinks and have fun. My mom already told me that she’ll watch the kids for us.”

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The Womanese language is difficult to decipher. Men have problems with it. We need to pay more attention. Men tend to be more direct with their conversations. There is a concrete answer, a solution, a fix to an issue. Women are wired differently. They are more in-tune with their inner feelings. They are often indirect, but you will need to read her body language and pay attention to whatever the hell she wants, if you want to be on solid ground with her!

Womanese gets extremely difficult to decode over text. Why? Because you don’t have her body language to read. It’s best to keep your assumptions on the down-low over text. Don’t just assume that she’s mad until you can really tell that she is, or don’t assume that she’s feeling a certain way, when she’s really not. Let her tell you how she feels, then you can react, and be extra patient with her over texting. Be very careful about what you write to her.

This is a blueprint on how how to talk to women. Ask them open-ended questions, keep the conversation intriguing while being tactful about your questions, listen to her and don’t drift off, and decode her ‘Womanese’ in-person or while texting. The conversation will also depend on your situation… If you’re walking with her on a sunny day, or if you’re at a busy coffee shop during your date, you will understand that these are different situations. Make sure to keep your situation and atmosphere in mind, and be aware of things around you while you talk with her during your date. As long as you explore fun conversational topics, listen to her intently, and laugh with her, you will most likely have a fun time out with her, and ensure your dating success.

William is a graphic designer and creative writer. One of his favourite interests is reading books about relationships. He recommends ‘How to Succeed with Women’ and Doc Love’s ‘The System’. He has two adorable children that he enjoys spending time with. William is currently single and is preparing for his next relationship. You can follow him on Twitter.

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