second date advice

You’ve made it past the first date and it seemed promising: you liked each other and you want to meet again. Now it is time to take the next step and seal the deal. If you’ve made it to a second date, then all may seem well, but how do you keep the spark going once the excitement of the first date has dwindled? How do you keep them wanting more? It may be easier than you think. Follow the second date advice that will guarantee you success.

1. Don’t rush into it

If you’ve been single for a while, the prospect of dating can seem like a fantastic, thrilling experience. Now you’ve finally met someone you can’t stop thinking about. Time to bombard them with texts and phone calls, right? Well, maybe not. Be sure to take your time when going into something new. Every date you go on won’t necessarily bloom into a long term, loving relationship, and the best thing you can do is remain positive regardless of the outcome. If they don’t want a second date, at least now you can move on, and if they do – fantastic! A lot of the time the novelty and excitement of the first date can over shadow the first date and by the end of it you should know whether or not you want to see this person again. Also, if your first date was absolutely out of this world, try not to hold all the other dates to this high standard in the future. The first date is normally nerve wracking, and a lot of people may confuse the feelings of nervousness with the feelings of being in love. If you don’t feel as enthusiastic as the first date, or don’t have the butterflies in the stomach then don’t worry! Eventually all the feelings will level out.

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2. Choose a fun activity

Traditionally, the first date consists of something along the lines of dinner, drinks and a few “getting to know each other” questions. This is all well and good until the second date is looming and you realise you’ve exhausted all your go to ice breaker questions. The solution? An activity date! For the second date, try something a little more daring. Mini golf, ice skating and horse riding are some of the few examples of a more out-of-the box date. Alternatively, if a daring date definitely doesn’t seem up your street, something as small as a game of pool at a bar can have a similar effect. Adding a slight competition into the mix will get tensions rising (in a good way of course) and even pulses racing. Even better if an added wager is in force, for example – loser buys the first round of drinks. An amusing pursuit may also help you suss out their personality. By the end of it you will know if they are all out and up for an exciting ride, or if they prefer to stick to a quieter, more laid back environment.

3. Lay your cards on the table

Often one of the most annoying things about dating, especially in modern times, is time wasting. You think the person you’ve been texting and hanging out with is definitely into you, and you’ve already planned what you will wear when you meet their parents, the all of a sudden, out of nowhere, they hit you with the “I’m not looking for a relationship” speech. While this is not necessarily a bad thing, it can be irritating if you’re not both on the same page from the beginning. The easiest way to conquer this is to let them know what it is you are looking for. This may seem like an old fashioned technique to give the game up straight away, but in this day in age it’s much easier in the long run. Nobody wants to have their time wasted! Although this may seem awkward at first, it’s a lot better to get it out of the way as soon as possible. If at the time you’re still unsure what it is you are looking for yourself, ask them. It’s almost like flipping a coin to help you make up your mind – if their reply is the complete polar opposite of what you were thinking, then you will have made up your mind.

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4. Use your body language

Now this may seem like an age old technique to tell whether someone is romantically interested or not, but it has been tried and tested for years. When talking to someone you are attracted to, always make sure your body language is open and welcoming. There is nothing more intimidating for a potential date than speaking to somebody that looks completely uninterested. Arms folded across body and looking down a lot are biological signs of boredom and or aggression. Be sure to keep making regular eye contact while conversing, or even nodding occasionally to show you are listening. Relax your body, and use hand gestures when talking. Another way of picking up signals is to suddenly change your positioning, if the other person then mimics your movements, it means they are paying attention to detail and reading the signs. This also works both ways – if they change their positioning or posture, slightly mimic the movements to give off the same vibe.

5. Make plans in advance

You go on a fantastic date, everything goes extremely well and you can’t wait to see them again, but suddenly, it’s been almost three weeks since the last rendezvous and he hasn’t texted you for almost a week. Sometimes, while finding a new partner, it’s difficult to maintain a healthy work-life balance, particularly if you’ve been single for an extended amount of time. There is now this whole new section of your life that previously didn’t exist and finding space and time for this comes with new challenges. A lot of people find it difficult to keep on top of it all and end up losing sight of any potential romances, before they have time to properly blossom. Most of the time this is not a concious decision made by either party, it is merely just, as they call it, ‘fizzling out’. An easy way to overcome this is to set a date and time for the next get together whilst still on the current date. It’s much easier to make plans together in person than it is once the working week begins and you are back focusing on your day to day life. Once the plans have already been made, any later plans will then be scheduled accordingly around your pre-planned arrangements.

Olivia is a freelance writer residing in the North of England. She enjoys the outdoors and nature documentaries, especially ones about marine biology. Although she loves writing about dating, her main passion lies within scriptwriting.

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