He broke up with you. Now you are in a constant state of sadness, thinking about that guy but not being able to have him. You torture yourself with questions: “What if I had done something differently?” “Maybe it’s all my fault?”
It’s time to redefine your self-worth and start looking forward to a positive future. Here’s how to get over a guy you dated.
1. Talk about it with others
Sometimes it’s difficult to put into words how you feel after a breakup, but bottling it up is not the answer. It will only leave you overthinking every detail of why your relationship didn’t work out.
Speaking about how the guy has made you feel will ease your pain. Crying is a great relief, but so is talking about the reasons behind it. Many people, like myself, get into an erratic state of tears where we feel we cannot stop. But talking about why you’re crying can help you feel like it’s ok and help you make sense of our breakup.
2. Spend time with friends
Having friends to support you is vital in the process of getting over a guy. They will remind you of who you are and will bring back some of that confidence you may have lost after the breakup. Your friends will ensure that you are not alone, and you can come and see them or text them whenever you need to talk about anything that’s on your mind.
You can rely on friends’ company to go out for a drink or clubbing. It will distract you from the thoughts about the guy for a while. My friends always remind me that there is plenty of time for me to enjoy myself and to find a guy, which is true.
3. Keep yourself busy
By doing anything that involves concentration is very therapeutic. The easiest way to keep yourself busy after a breakup is by working out or cleaning. For me, it’s cleaning as working out isn’t my thing. You focus all of your thoughts on the tasks at hand to distract yourself from feeling sad. Many of us, myself included, don’t want to be alone after a breakup, but when friends or family members are not available, you have to find other alternatives to keep yourself busy.
It may sound like avoiding your feelings, but when all you think about is your ex, doing something mundane gives you a sense of normality.
4. Don’t blame yourself
I am an expert over-thinker, and I know what role overthinking plays when you are getting over a breakup. You become your own worst critic while searching for the answers on what went wrong.
The truth is, it’s easier to blame yourself because you know your faults. Due to being vulnerable and still having feelings for the guy that you dated, you have a warped view on the breakup.
You don’t see the negatives of your ex; you only see the positives. Therefore, you project all of the negative qualities onto yourself and start believing that you are the one to blame. But the truth is that it always takes two to make a relationship work.
I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason. When I was going through a breakup, I was devastated, but later I discovered there was a reason why things didn’t work out.
5. Pamper yourself
It is a right of passage that after a breakup, we girls change our appearance. It is one of the best self-care treatments you can give yourself. Dedicate some time for yourself because you deserve it.
Now it’s an excellent time to experiment with your hairstyle: you can cut it short, or dye it in a different color. Get your nails done, buy new clothes or some cosmetics. Changing your look will make you feel like you are moving on and leaving the past behind you.
6. Don’t regret anything
When you experience a breakup, your initial thoughts are, “I wish I had never met him.” But the truth is, at the time, you were happy, so why would you regret the good times?
Being with that person made you happy and enabled you to grow as an individual. It is never a bad thing. You may feel sad, but you’ll soon realize that everything turned out the way it should have with that person. Don’t regret anything that happened in the past. It’s frustrating and upsetting when everything is so fresh, but you were with that person by your own choice, and you shouldn’t feel bad about it.When you experience a breakup, your initial thoughts are, 'I wish I had never met him.' Click To Tweet
7. Give yourself time
When you go through a breakup, you desire to fast forward past the time and feel happy again. And forget everything about the guy that you dated. However, you need to go through the cycle of emotions to heal your broken heart, and there are no shortcuts here.
Giving yourself time to feel sad and embrace your emotions is key to getting over a breakup. There is no exact time limit on getting over a breakup and no way to speed up the process. I am speaking from my own experience: time has helped me to release my emotions and eventually move on, feeling more positive about myself and the future.
Breakup is a hard process, and getting over it always takes time. Allow yourself to feel sad, and don’t regret your relationship. Give yourself time to heal and prepare yourself for the next chapter of your life.