relationship is over

Have you ever wondered why your relationship has become sour? If it is not nourishing and growing your potential, but rather depleting your self-worth and happiness, then you need to consider whether this relationship should continue. So there comes the time when you feel that enough is enough and making a decision to walk away from your current relationship feels somewhat right. Here are seven unmistakable signs your relationship is over. Maybe it is time to call it the quits!

1. They are not interested in your career

You have career goals and plans and your partner doesn’t take any or little interest in what you have to say. What you are passionate about or what you are doing to build yourself up in your career goals should be supported by your partner. It is essential that they are adding to you and providing advice to progress.

If you realize that when you come from work or discuss your career goals they are dismissive or they do not understand why you are making a certain career choice, this should be a red flag! Do not leave this situation to fester.

To really test this you can ask them about what they think of your career goals. If they stammer, fiddle or change the subject abruptly it’s clear that they are likely to not be interested, not listening or caring.

2. They mock you randomly

It’s a date night and you are getting ready for a glamorous affair. As you glance to look in the mirror you are sure to receive a compliment from you another half, but instead, they say something unexpected: “Babe you look like a frog in that dress”.

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If this is out of character from your partner this needs to be discussed. This is not a joke and is known to be direct verbal abuse especially if this is occurring more and more regularly. A few times we can allow it if it is jovial, but not every other day.

To test this, simply ask your other half: “Why do you think it is okay to joke about my appearance?” Wait for an answer and look into their eyes. If they try to look somewhere else, that is an avoidant behavior which should be taken into account.

3. They do not plan dates anymore

You used to go out before, but these days all your dates are just bedroom dates? You are probably thinking to yourself that this is not an issue. However, being wined and dined or just a casual bowling date is essential to bonding and appreciating your partner. It’s important that you keep your relationship vibrant and go and experience new things together apart from exploring what new things you can do in the bedroom.

Planning to go out to dates even if your partner is busy and spending quality time together should be scheduled in. You are their significant other, right? If you are realizing that it has been more than a month since your last date, you need to have an honest discussion. Be polite and open about going on a date outdoors.

To test this situation, ask your partner: “Why are our dates not been happening and why are we having more rendezvous in the bedroom?” If they say they are low on funds suggest places with coupons, alternative ways to reduce costs, such as picnic date. However, if they say they want something casual, you need to highlight that you are unaware. If you cannot meet in the middle, you may want to leave the relationship-seeking for what you truly want.

4. They forget special occasions

They would always remember the birthday traditions and the anniversary celebrations, but now things have changed. They are not being remembered somehow. Instead, you and your partner are eating a home delivery pizza and sipping on a cheap wine from the supermarket.

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You are realizing that this is a situation which is tugging at your heartstrings and you need to understand why. Communication is key to sorting out issues. Your partner cannot read your mind. I cannot stress this enough. The only way your partner will know how you feel is if you tell them.

To test this ask your partner: “Why are we not celebrating our 2 year anniversary?”, for example. If they decide that they are not willing to talk about it, give them a few days to explain. If you have had no answer you need to ensure you make them aware of how you feel. The fact that they are not interested in your special occasions any more clearly shows the lack of interest in you.

5. They have last minute plans you are unaware of

You realized your significant other is dressed up and looking dashing. They say they have last minute arrangements and vanish into thin air. If this keeps on occurring a few months down the line you must speak up.

Ask them why they go out so often. You can mark these dates in your calendar on your phone and back your claims with the dates. If they are honest with you, they will get their story straight.

You need to make sure you ask and understand the situation and make sure that your partner has meetings, or genuinely going out with friends. They may also be going through a personal issue. So do not be too quick to jump the gun on odd or strange behavior. It could be you who is in the wrong. If in doubt, always ask and do not assume.

6. They are using their phone more often

Is your partner always stuck to their phone when you are together? Do they rarely give you attention on a date because their phone is in-between you too? This could be a sign of boredom, social media addiction or work.

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We do have more fears with phone usages now as it has a lot to do with social media taking up our time and providing a lot of things at our fingertips literally. So this does make it harder to monitor or detect whether your partner is busy with work, generally catching up with his friends or cheating.

To test this we need to tell your partner politely: “I have realized that you are on the phone a lot, can you explain to me why that is the case?” If your partner is dismissive or rude it could be that they are not happy or looking elsewhere already.

7. You argue over unnecessary things

Maybe you are arguing about the sauce being too spicy, forgetting to open the door for your partner or choosing another restaurant. When these types of arguments arise you need to be aware of it. If it keeps arising over a month it’s very draining and can weigh heavily on your relationship. If this keeps on persisting you need to ask questions.

To test this, I advise you ask questions such as, “I have realized we are having recent tensions, have I  done something wrong? Do you think we are growing apart?” Allow your partner to speak, listen to them actively and engage your body language. By having this discussion you should get an open and honest opinion so you determine where your relationship is going.

Breakups are hard and there is no simple way of doing it. You tend to feel hurt, upset, frustrated and a lot of pent up negative emotions you never knew existed. I totally understand how it feels to tell your partner you are no longer happy and want to call it quits. However, if all the signs are hinting that your relationship is over, don’t be afraid to move on so you can find somebody who will love you and only you.

Marie is a qualified life and dating coach and NLP, CBT practitioner to provide relatable advice to people from all walks of life. She likes to read random facts about personality and love and resides in the UK.

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