in love

I’ve spent so much time dissecting my flaws, as well as analysing all of my issues within previous relationships. I thought that it may be time to reflect back on what actually worked within the relationships, and reveal the memories that I would like to hide in a bulletproof vault and protect from harm. I’m going to unlock the vault, and see what’s inside.

So far, I’m looking in this vault, and I’m seeing pleasant memories. I see lots of love, romance, sex, passion, oh… I remember that nice place, that mountain, that hike on that sunny day. I went out on a hot date at that city before. What’s the deal with all of the candles? Oh… I was in love then. I forgot.

What makes a relationship work, and how do you know that you’re actually living in good times and moments? How can you tell that things are right? When they feel right you can, and that’s what’s in this love vault.

You travel a lot

Sometimes I feel like I’m a ghost of my previous self. I know, I know… It sounds a bit weird and dark, but myself in a relationship was a lot different from myself single. When I think back to what actually worked within my previous relationships, I remembered that I travelled to a lot of different destinations, and experienced a lot of special moments.

Be it Europe, California, Key West, Florida, etc., I was once a world traveller, and I was able to travel quite a bit before kids, and the double income certainly didn’t hurt. While you’re in a relationship that works, everything seems to be easy. You don’t really have to stress about things or reality, or worry so much, because your relationship is smoothly humming along, and you’re content and maybe even feeling happy.

You travel a lot while you’re in love. You take it for granted while you’re in these moments, and life goes very fast, and they will someday become distant memories, but you really enjoyed the ride looking back in retrospect. Maybe you went to a lot of amusement parks, or you enjoyed that local brew pub in Germany. Or you went to Paris and had wine at a small quaint café with your lovely woman. When you’re in love, you’re able to travel a lot and have fun together.

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You enjoy your lover’s company

Conversation tends to be easy, and maybe you’re getting to know each other, or exploring new opportunities with your love. Things are easy with pleasant conversation, you are able to laugh, live life, and thrive in your reality, because you may be in the beginning stages of your relationship, and things are actually working! Remember that?

Perhaps you are sharing your interest for that special existential book that you both read, or that artsy film from the favourite director that you just watched together downtown under the moonlight. You walk holding hands, and everything is going smoothly. Nothing to worry about.

It’s time to shop for a new classy watch, or dine at that new restaurant that you both want to try out. “Wow! I can’t believe how much fun we’re having together! I feel like I’ve known her my entire life! We even finish each other’s sentences, and with a mere glance from across the room at a get-together, I already know what she wants! She’s giving me that sexy, alluring stare right now. It’s like we’re telepathic! I can’t believe how much fun we’re having in our relationship! Maybe tomorrow, after shopping and sex, we’ll go out and have fun. Maybe we can go to that rooftop restaurant, sit outside, have some bubbly, and relax! Looking forward to it. I will enjoy my lover’s company, before the relationship disintegrates into the future!”

You show affection for each other

“Honey, will you go to the grocery store, and pick up some milk?” “No problem, darling. Anything for you!” You are calling each other ‘honey’ and making everyone sick to their stomachs. You are likely in the beginning stages of your relationship, ‘discovering each other’. Behind closed doors, body fluids are splashing to and fro, and you have a passionate relationship that makes people in your life secretly envious or jealous. They often want the closeness that you are currently experiencing in their relationships!

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There’s nothing wrong with showing your affection for each other, but try to limit it on Facebook and other social networks. You truly don’t know how stupid you look, because you have been shot by Cupid’s sharp arrow in your behind, and you are too busy with your enlarged pupils watching your honey curl her shiny hair with that brand new curling iron that you purchased for her. You are ‘honeys’, and love being together. You don’t want to be apart. Your guy friends will call you ‘whipped’ and they will be correct. You are whipped, and you are not truly grounded in reality, or on planet earth, for that matter. You’re madly in love.

You are inseparable during this period in your relationship. Jealousy may also peek out its ugly face from a dark shadow, because you want no other man paying any amount of attention to her, and you may be territorial of her — as she may be of you. Perhaps you are talking to your attractive co-worker too much, or staring at the waitress too long at that fancy restaurant that you’re both enjoying. She will make your life a living hell during this time period, because you are honeys and love each other passionately and deeply. Jealousy is actually a natural state, while you are both passionately in love with each other in the relationship.

You rarely argue

The only time that you both actually argue is over jealousy. Maybe she gets upset about a comment on Facebook that you made to another female, or vice-versa. Other than jealousy, there is little arguing at the beginning of your ‘discovery’ together. You are too busy in the bedroom, enjoying each other’s company, or getting lost in her beautiful, almond brown eyes while out on your dates together. You’re both in it! You both feel pleasant, sexy, and deeply loved. You are sharing that passion with each other, experiencing life together, and you both feel loved in return. It’s a complete feeling, and you want to spend your futures together. You can’t imagine being apart from each other. You love discovering new places, showing off your love together for everyone to witness, and you hold hands while walking down the cobblestone streets with each other.

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Arguing will most likely come later in the relationship, but you’re too naive to know this yet, because you are too engulfed with each other. The jealousy arguing can sometimes work in your favor, because she sees you as more desirable to other women, as you see her more desirable to other men. You are glowing during this time period. Don’t you see that lovely aura around you? Love has never tasted more delicious, and you can’t recall the last time that your heart has beaten so madly for a woman before.

You feel like writing poetry, you feel like dancing, you want to embrace life (and her… Hehe!) This is what love can do to you. It is like a drug… You’re addicted to her. You’re addicted to your drug. Without her, you don’t feel madly like this. You enjoy the moments of feeling out of control, those moments of anguish when you miss her, those moments of loving connectedness while you share a bed together, or enjoy each other during a night out on the town.

This is how you feel while your relationship is pleasant. It will not always feel this way, as time will slip into the future, so enjoy these life moments. They are made and created for you, and you are along for the pleasant ride. There are a lot of nice memories in this vault. I think that it’s probably time to gently close it, and resume my mid-life crisis in the present.

Image: flickr

William is a graphic designer and creative writer. One of his favourite interests is reading books about relationships. He recommends ‘How to Succeed with Women’ and Doc Love’s ‘The System’. He has two adorable children that he enjoys spending time with. William is currently single and is preparing for his next relationship. You can follow him on Twitter.

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