The life of a single gal. It sure has it’s bonuses. No one to answer to, if you want to go out with your girlfriends on both Friday night and Saturday night – you can do so without feeling guilty. You always come home to a clean, tidy house as there is no man around to leave dirty dishes in the sink despite the fact the dishwasher is now empty and ready for reloading!
However, these bonuses are not without their downfalls. For instance, who will spoil you on your birthday or at Christmas? When all of your happily loved up friends are staying in with their partners on weekends who will you have to go out with? Most importantly of all, no companionship, no one to cuddle up to, no one to listen to you or make you feel better after a horrible day at work. Dare I say it, you may even be starting to worry that you have been “left on the shelf” and start to feel the metaphorical ticking of the biological clock as all of your friends are starting to get engaged, married or have babies.
With all of this in mind, more and more women may be starting to feel the burning pressure of wanting to meet Mr.Right sooner rather than later. It is then with this feeling of being on a strict time frame that may cause them to do silly things in the process of searching for said Mr.Right. With people leading such busy, hectic lifestyles now it is no surprise that many are resorting to online dating. Here is a list of fatal mistakes that may prevent you from meeting men online.
1. Overdoing the selfies and Snapchat filters
I’m not saying there is anything wrong with using a Snapchat filter. I am sure we have all been guilty of touching up our photo’s at some point. But you know you are taking things a little too far when practically every single photo you have of yourself is filtered beyond recognition to the point where you look a cross between a kitten and a unicorn! Despite the fact this is somewhat unnatural, it may freak men out a little too. One, for the very reason, kittens crossed with a unicorn are very unnatural, two, you are not really projecting a true image of yourself.
Men would prefer to get a clearer idea of what you look like. A true image and likeness. Therefore overdoing the filters may not be the best. It does tend to lull people into a false sense of security and if your date turns up to meet you and you look nothing like your profile picture, they are entitled to feel a bit duped, as would you if it were the other way around. The natural look is best for these photos and if someone doesn’t like it, then that’s their loss, after all, isn’t it what is inside that counts?
Secondly, if someone is obsessed by taking selfies, this is also a huge turnoff. Not only does this imply that someone is self centred and attention seeking, it could also symbolise neediness, insecurity and someone who is desperate for approval and acceptance. Neither of which are attractive features.
2. Revealing too much too soon
Some people are all too fond of writing their life stories on their profiles. Therefore, a man could know practically everything about you, your favourite TV shows, annoying habits, even the fact that you had a pet rabbit named Thumper who got run over by your little brothers bike when you were 8, all before you’ve even officially met.
The point is, men prefer women to leave a little bit of mystery. They like to spend time talking to and getting to know a woman face to face. After all, where is the fun of meeting someone for the first time when you practically already know everything about them as it is? A man is much more likely to be drawn to the profile of someone who has written something short and snappy along the lines of “Self confessed beauty junkie and lover of cake and all things yellow” is far more appealing than your autobiogrpahy and leaves them wanting more.
3. Only using one photo
This may not seem that big a deal, but I can personally speak from my own experience here. When I first joined a dating site three years ago, I was seriously struggling with photos. At the time, I was a busy single mummy with very little time for a social life, so I did not have lots of lovely glamorous photographs of myself on nights out with friends, or at many other social gatherings. My photo album mainly consisted of photos of my son, and ones of us together. I wasn’t about to put any photos of him out there, so I really did feel at a loss as to what to include. I managed to find one nice photo I had of myself and left it at that.
However, I was often asked, “How come you only have one photo?” and questions to a similar effect. One thing I noticed as well, was that if I messaged someone who I liked the look of with just the one photo, I would sometimes not get a reply, whereas when I uploaded some more and then messaged same guy again, I then got a reply. I guess one photo could look slightly suspicious and set alarm bells ringing as to whether or not this is actually a genuine account. I even had one guy message me asking to “prove I was real” as so many women, from his experience, with only one photo had turned out to be fake. So to allow yourself the best possible chance of securing a date, use a selection of photos.
4. Using someone else’s photos
Using someone else’s photos is by far the biggest no-no if you are interested in meeting men online. Try to reverse the situation. If this were a man going under the guise of someone else, this would be incredibly creepy and he would clearly be some axe wielding crazy psychopath you may agree. However, it is equally as unacceptable for women to do the same thing, because the world does not only consist of crazy men, but there are plenty of crazy women out there to, and the safety of men is of just as paramount importance too.
5. Not casting your net wide enough
During my single life, I was incredibly picky and knew exactly what I was looking for in my lifelong partner. I can remember getting a message on a dating site from a James Corden lookalike, who wasn’t my usual type so to speak (nothing wrong with James, I think he’s fab!), however, I read the message and quickly archived it as at the current moment in time was too busy to reply. A few days later, I received a message again simply saying “shallow.”
My point here is, don’t always be so quick to write off people who, physically, may not be your usual type, instead, give them a chance, you may end up pleasantly surprised.
6. Hounding someone with messages until they reply
Messaging somebody repeatedly before you receive their reply is such a turnoff! I had many of these. If I hadn’t replied to a guy I wasn’t particularly interested in, or was speaking to a guy and hadn’t gotten around to replying again, then I’d get messages such as “you ok?” “did you get my message,” or nasty messages clearly annoyed at being rejected. The worse I feel are simply “???” That just signifies impatience and aggression in my opinion.
If you behave like this with men, they will only think you are a psycho or needy and will turn and run in the opposite direction. No one likes a needy woman.
7. Not being proactive enough
Likewise, behaving in the opposite manner and not being proactive enough can also leave a man running for the hills. The world of online dating is a very cutthroat one, so if a man is feeling as though he is the one doing all the work and always making the effort with very little in return, he will soon move onto the next thing, some other woman is bound to show him the attention he is seeking after all.
8. Being rude or abusive
Coming back to the whole “psycho” element and more to the point, would you want to even reply to, let alone go on a date with someone so obviously lacking in manners or basic social skills? The answer is a resounding “no” so think twice before pressing send on that long, abusive message with the occasional swear word thrown in for good measure next time someone hasn’t replied yet. Chances are they never will. Yes, it is frustrating when you take the trouble to write someone a message and they don’t answer, but try to remain calm and remember, just because they haven’t replied, there will be someone else who will.
9. Not being yourself
Finally, the most important point – just be yourself when meeting men online! It is all too easy to create this online personna for yourself, bigging up your life, making out you are somebody who you are not, claiming you earn more money, have a more amazing career than you do, a far more exciting life than you have, behaving a lot more differently online to how you normally would is incredibly tempting.
However, when you meet a guy and he soon realises that you are nothing like the online image of yourself you have projected, he may not want to stick around. The most important thing when online dating, despite being clued up on personal safety when meeting someone for the first time that is, is to remain true to yourself. After that, who knows where it may lead? And if it doesn’t, then at least you will know it wasn’t because you pretended to be someone who you weren’t, and that person just wasn’t right for you.
Always remember, you are fabulous, you have lots going for you and are loved for being you. Follow this rule whilst online dating, and at least you know you will be doing something right when meeting men online.