Film and literature have long manipulated us into believing that romance is the highest form of human connection that can be achieved, and in turn, that friendship is somehow second best. The stark truth is that friendship is often a lot easier to come by than a romantic connection.
Too often we beat ourselves up upon meeting the cold shoulder of our desire love interest. What could we have done differently? Did we not make our intentions clear enough?
Rejection is never easy, but for many the cruellest dismissal of all is being friend-zoned. Having invested so much time and energy into creating a connection with someone, you ultimately hope that the attraction will be reciprocated; and more time than not it is. Sadly, this attraction is not always a romantic one, and you may find yourself in a situation where the other person loves your personality, but simply wants to keep your relationship platonic.
If you end up here, don’t be dismayed. You may be surprised to find that having a friend who you also find attractive can be a blessing in disguise.
For starters, they can give you straight-up, honest advice about the other sex. When you develop an attraction for someone, the chances are that you will like most of the things they do or say. Having some insider knowledge of what their potential likes and dislikes are will help set you off on the right foot when a new love interest comes along.
You might even find that this match appears in the form of one of their friends. We tend to connect with people of similar personalities, so naturally your crush’s friends will share some of the qualities you were first attracted to in them. If you have struck up a strong friendship, the good news is that they are almost certainly going to sell you well to their friends.
Hearing about the one you liked going on dates with people other than you is a hard pill to swallow, but it does provide inspiration for prospective date ideas. Would you have known about that new Argentinian restaurant at Charing Cross were it not for the amazing date that your hot friend went on there last week? Probably not, but the person you are heading out with this evening is sure to be impressed.
Finally, you have their company. One of the best things about being friend-zoned is the reassurance that your relationship will go the distance. Keeping things platonic means that there is less likely to be any drama or fallings out. It’s generally only when sex enters the equation that things start to get complicated. While Tinder dates come and go, you and your buddy’s friendship will continue to blossom.
So next time you’re feeling hung up about being friend-zoned, try to remember that some romances just aren’t meant to be. But whilst the best you could have hoped for was a short-lived relationship, instead, you’ve gained a lasting friendship.