When I visit home, my grandma always asks “How long will it be until you get itchy feet and you’re away again?” I can never tell her a straight answer, because I never know it myself.
My career means that I move around from place to place. I can spend a month in one place, six months in another, and it can be anywhere in the world. That’s the beauty of my job; I do what I love and I can never predict where I’ll be within a matter of months. Great for my career and possibly my future autobiography. Not so great for my love life.
If this rings true to you, how can you go about getting into a committed relationship? How can you find a person you want to spend time with when your circumstances change at a monthly rate? Should you just spend your days being free and single and alone? Or have short flings with the locals? What it you’re not looking for that? What can you do to ensure you’re not wasting anyones time and that you’re actively looking for your next partner in crime?
Find another career driven person
Some people work for the weekend. I however do not. I uproot my entire life, don’t see my friends or family for months at a time and move to a place where I know no one to work. And some people think that’s crazy.
You’re best bet at finding love when you live for your work is to find someone else who understands that a career is important enough to make sacrifices for. If they do it for their career, they will automatically understand why you make the huge decision to make a big percentage of your life about work. If you start with that mutual understanding, it can just get better from there. That way if you have a busy week at work and can’t dedicate as much time to them as you’d like, they will completely understand the reasoning.
Put yourself out there
Just because you’re not settled in one place with a ‘normal’ job doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to actively look for a new relationship. There’s so many ways now you can meet new people in the same area as you with dating apps, Facebook and even friends of your new friends. The possibilities are endless. So put yourself out there, and if you don’t get any love interest out of it, what is there to lose? You’ll still get to meet new people, maybe make some friends and get a great tour of your new surroundings from an actual real life local! And if it doesn’t work out? In a month’s time you will probably be miles away, so no fear of bumping into your last bad date!
Be upfront from the beginning
There are a few subjects that we all avoid when we first meet someone. Ex talk. Your weird phobia of birds. The fact you avoid public bathrooms at all costs. Just me?
But something you must be upfront about is how long you’re around for. If you’re living in a place for a limited time, it’s only fair you let the person you are dating know. They may be fine with it. They may take every day as it comes and make it fun while it lasts. Or they may be looking for a permanent partner and you’re circumstances are just not what they are looking for. All you can do it be honest and upfront about your situation. Your date can blame you for that.
It’s very easy to get lonely and long for a person to be intimate with. But when you’re in a place for a limited time, and you live where you work, it becomes very easy to settle. Resist the urge to. Try and get yourself out of the work bubble and meet people who aren’t associated with your job. You’ve heard of beer goggles, I call it bubble goggles. You can convince yourself someone is right for you as there isn’t many options, but as soon as you are back to your home town and out of the work setting, it can very quickly become apparent that you thought this person was right for you because you had limited choices. Sounds mean, but doesn’t love cut throat in every scenario? Being aware of this will avoid potential heartbreak for the other person if they become attached to you and you end it as soon as you move on to another place.
Don’t take rejection to heart
Some people just know what they are looking for. I feel like as we get older, we get pickier in our partners as we try to find someone to share all our adventures with. You can’t take it to heart when people are not willing to put in the effort when they know in a couple of months time, there will be miles between you. Long distance relationship isn’t for everyone and that doesn’t mean you are not good enough. Don’t let rejection knock you back. I mean if the tables were turned and you met an out of towner, would you want to start a relationship if they were going to leave within the year?
You never know when and where you are going to meet someone. And if you really like each other, you’ll find a way to make it work. Try not to close yourself off from finding someone permanent. Be open to all possibilities and you never know where your love life could end up.