single parent dating

Single parent dating is a lot more difficult than dating when you don’t have kids. On top of everything else like working and paying your bills, as well as taking care of your kids solo, how do you find the time to even date? What do you do when you’re feeling overwhelmed by your career and life, struggling to make it after shelling over all of that dough for child support? Unless you’re wealthy with an ideal and superb job, you’re going to have to handle being alone and struggling for real with life. The daily struggle can eat at you, and you will also want to make time for dating new women, and living new and exciting experiences. So what do you do?

Meet women online

It is not that easy to meet people in reality or at events, so I would recommend meeting women online. Unfortunately, online dating has it’s own challenges, especially when you have fruits from your previous relationship (your kids). It’s best to start out light, and just get to know women over dates, and see where it takes you. Don’t expect too much starting out — you need to be extremely patient, because we’re inevitably talking about mixing families and kids here. It’s likely that the woman that you meet up with for your date has her own baggage, just like you. She probably has kids from a previous relationship or marriage, maybe she has some financial issues, or something else that you don’t even know about yet. If you get lucky, maybe you can meet your next gal at a zoo, a kid event like a soccer game, or simply at the mall, but times are different now with the internet and social media. From personal experience, I just find that adults are being adults at these type of events with their attention directed solely on their kids, and even if you find a woman who is attractive at a ball game, restaurant, or some other event, you don’t know if she’s hitched or not, so that’s why I recommend online dating.

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Date on your non-kid weekends

If you have your own kids or dating somebody who has kids it’s best to meet up on non-kid weekends. If you both have kids and you see them on the same weekends, this is ideal. That way, you can either meet up on non-kid weekends, or some other evening during the week. Single parent dating can get tricky, because we’re all busy adults, working and playing, and scheduling can get troublesome. You just need to be tactful with your date scheduling with her. I don’t recommend introducing your kids too early, until you get serious. This should take months before you introduce her to your kids, or you get introduced to her kids. Keep in mind that if you’re looking for a long-term relationship, you will need to spend a lot of time with her kids. Some guys don’t even think about this, so if she has a batch of kids from a previous marriage, you will be a part of their lives.

Take your time

Being older and wiser, you should already know that you should take your time before jumping into anything. You have your kids to think about, her kids, her pets, etc. What if you start dating her, and her dog doesn’t like you and growls at you? What if her son spits spitballs in your direction while you’re out to dinner with her? What if she has cats that pounce on your back and scratch you while you’re making love in the bedroom with her? Cat Scratch Fever, anyone? You need to use your brain before you jump into a new relationship! Not the brain below, but your actual brain in your head. I understand if you’re blinded by love, but you need to be careful and look down the road at your future with her. It should be absolutely clear to you that you see a future with her, unless you are casually dating. Being in a relationship has many challenges that you will not foresee, so you need to have the foresight, and use your head and intuition. Don’t only let your sexual, animal instincts guide you. They may guide you in a direction that you eventually won’t like, and now you’ll be in a mess, and wonder, “How do I get out of this relationship?” Don’t be that guy. Think ahead, and always keep your future and destiny in mind.

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Avoid hasty decisions

You may run into instances where you’ll meet someone that you kind of like on your first date. Keep in mind that this is a primer date, and you should only make dating decisions that will really affect your life after multiple dates. If it doesn’t work out with that special someone that you dreamed up a future with in your imaginative head of yours, simply move forward. There’s no sense beating a dead horse, and if the connection isn’t there on her end, that’s not what you want anyway, because… well, she doesn’t like you. You want a woman who totally digs you, is into you, and you dig her, and you can fall in a deep and exciting love that will keep your head spinning. You want that high interest level, so if that attractive blonde isn’t the woman that you initially thought she’d be, there are other women out there to choose from. This goes with taking your time, because the minute that you jump into something real, you will inherit her life issues as well.

Choose the right woman

Sometimes, love will blind you to the point that you end up with a woman who is completely bad for you. I see this in relationships all of the time — the guy is sitting at home and suffering in silence. He wonders, “How the hell did I get myself into this situation? We started off so well! The sparks were flying, I had such strong feelings for her, and now it seems like we don’t even get along with each other or have similar interests for that matter!” Have you ever felt this way with a woman who you dated? That it really isn’t going anywhere that you desire? The dating direction is so important. Visualise yourself in 5 or 10 years with her. Is this truly what you want? Is she truly what you want? You need to ask yourself these questions. You need to examine your life and your future together. Don’t waste time with the wrong woman, when you could be using that time dating the right one, or at least trying to date a woman who is more suited for you. Listen to your close friends — they know you better than anyone. What does your family think about your relationship? I’m not saying that you need to listen to what everyone else in your life thinks about your love selections, but you may want to consider this if your relationship is heading south.

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If you’re just not feeling right, there’s always tomorrow. I tell myself this all of the time. If you have a bad day at work, if you just have a bad day in general, or if your dating life isn’t going as well as you hoped, the future is still bright. You may wake up fresh tomorrow morning, get yourself a piping hot cup of coffee, and we all know that coffee makes you do stupid things faster with more energy! Single parent dating is not easy, but if you haven’t met the right woman yet, don’t get down on life. You can always turn things around the next day.

William is a graphic designer and creative writer. One of his favourite interests is reading books about relationships. He recommends ‘How to Succeed with Women’ and Doc Love’s ‘The System’. He has two adorable children that he enjoys spending time with. William is currently single and is preparing for his next relationship. You can follow him on Twitter.

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