how to start dating

Just like how the journey of a thousand miles starts with one step, the journey of dating starts with one action at a time. Are you feeling frustrated about how to start dating? Does the thought of dating scare you? There are many things that can go wrong when you date, but there are plenty of things that can go right. There are literally billions of people on the planet, and even though we are all different, each of us shares many similarities.

It is perfectly natural for you to get to a point where you want to enjoy your life with someone who is going to share your interests and love. You can follow these tips to get started with dating, and hopefully, build the relationship that you want.

Take inventory of your life

When a new retail store gets launched, the store manager takes inventory of the stock that is available. Some of the stock gets assigned to sell right away to customers, and some of the stock is assigned to keep in the backroom as extra merchandise. Have you taken inventory of what you are holding onto in your life? Are you holding onto physical items that you need to let go of? Perhaps you are holding onto fears that you have about dating. Start with cleaning out your physical and mental closets.

You need to understand that what you think about can truly be something that you attract into your life. If you think that you can find the right person for you and have a happy relationship, then your actions will move towards making that a reality for yourself. If, however, you feel that you can and will find the right person, you will focus on moving your life towards being the type of person who will capture the heart of your ideal soulmate. Let go of whatever is preventing you from moving forward with your life.

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Make dating a priority

I have learned throughout my life that there are many benefits to learning from people who came before me. When you are single and uncertain about how to find the right person, it is easy to feel alone. However, the fact that there are many dating websites, dating and relationship experts, matchmakers, and relationship counselors worldwide who help men and women to solve their relationship problems should be a clue to you that you are not the only fish in the sea. There are plenty of other people in the same situation, and you will benefit from being teachable and coachable.

You will need to make dating a priority if you want to succeed at it. Once you set a certain amount of time each day to focus on dating, you will slowly incorporate your dating plans into your life. Make a date with yourself to spend at least 20 minutes each day focused on your dating goals. Figure out what type of dates you enjoy, how you want to date, what strategy you want to take to find your ultimate dating partner. Remember that the person who you partner with will be the co-star in your love life.

Program yourself for success

Searching for your dating co-star is a huge step! Instead of doing it with fear, do it out loud. Even if you only acknowledge to yourself that you are starting the journey towards finding a partner, do it. I know some people who are very successful at what they do, and those people do not dismiss their achievements; they celebrate them daily.

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Write yourself a congratulatory note for taking the next step towards finding the right person. Buy yourself your favorite drink as a reward for each step that you take to advance your dating journey. Years ago, my friend Leila’s father told me to put a picture of what it is that I want in front of me, and to keep my eyes fixed on that image. That advice is very sound. We all need reminders of our progress. Reminders of what we have achieved can fuel our motivation to keep moving forward. Make it happen.

Start talking with new people

Do you feel awkward when you are forced to speak with a stranger? If so, you need to practice speaking with others. After all, how do you expect to start dating if you are not even comfortable making small talk? Many first dates are filled with small talk conversations and you need to be prepared. Communication helps relationships to evolve.

A fun way to practice making small talk is to call up a phone entertainer and ask to do a role-play of a first date. They will flirt, listen, and best of all, not show any judgment against whatever your fantasies are. And, if you ask for advice, many phone entertainers will provide some much-needed encouragement and tips on how to behave on a date.

Practice truly is the solution to become great at dating. No matter how many people you date, the one common denominator in all of your relationships is you. You need to know why you are “dateable” and why another single person should take a chance on partnering with you.  As well, you also need to know who should and who should not be part of your dating journey with you. You have so much to offer to yourself and to the world. Tap into your strengths, figure out what you need to be happy, and make it a point to share your happiness with someone who deserves your time.

Akua is a Canadian born and raised girl with Caribbean roots. She is a journalist, actress, music teacher, performer, owner and marketer of 3 worldwide dating websites, as well as an independent Pure Romance business owner selling passion products for singles and couples.

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