ambitious woman

With so many dating apps and dating sites out there and so little time, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and frustrated. For the ambitious woman, who wants to figure it out, being equipped with the right tools can make the difference between having memorable dating experiences and getting stuck with dating duds.

If you are successful and ambitious, here are 8 online dating tips that will make your journey much easier.

1. Don’t give too much details

Women are more verbose by nature. We use a lot of words to explain our experiences, characteristics, likes and dislikes. Our communication style is a strength for sure, but when you are creating your online dating profile, here are a couple of suggestions. Be brief. Instead of writing a biography with great detail about your life, background, interests, and hobbies, focus on the big picture. Share the headlines and limit the details.

Here’s an example: “I never knew how much my love for hiking would grow until I went on a hiking excursion in which I explored the southern rim of the Grand Canyon.” Your description gives an overview of who you are, what you enjoy, and your sense of adventure. It makes the person looking at your profile want to know more about you.

Remember, when someone is checking out dating profiles they will skim over many. You want them to give them a small taste of who you are and begging for more. When you have a date or interaction with someone, you can use that time to share more details.

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2. Show your personality

Your best qualities in your career are not the same qualities that make you attractive to someone looking for a relationship. When a man is looking for partnership, he may fully recognise the fact that you are successful and independent, but he is also looking for someone who will make him feel comfortable.

It is important to share your softer qualities on your online dating profile. Men like women who are loyal, easy to get along with, fun and can engage in a good conversation.

I’m not saying you should play down your ambitions because that isn’t being true to you. Show that you enjoy life outside of your work. Having a sense of humor, being open to trying new adventures or activities is extremely attractive. Showing who you are as a person makes you stand out more than others who talk themselves up and create false impression.

3. Make your photos look interesting

Yes, selfies are cute. But, take it a step further. Show pictures of you being silly, engaging in an activity you enjoy, or on a trip you may have recently made.

Don’t share group shots because you want to stand out. The key in pictures is giving a man a sense of your personality, spirit, and interests. If you want to take it up a notch, have some professional shots taken. Photographers can help you come up with creative poses too.

Don’t use pictures from way back in the day. Show who you are in the present. There is nothing more frustrating than someone misleading you about how they look. Looks are only one factor in the law of attraction, but not being authentic to who you are is a complete turnoff. Men are attracted to different types of women and body shapes. Flaunt what you got and make it work for you!

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4. Think from the perspective of a man

If you want to nail a presentation at work, you will do research. You may practice what you will discuss with your peers sharing determining what content or information will be more meaningful. You take extra steps because you want to put your best foot forward and make a lasting impression.

Dating is similar to some degree. Some research is needed to figure out what works. Look at profiles of women who are popular on the dating sites, take notes and integrate some of their practices when creating your profile. When something works for others, there is no harm in making it work for you!

5. Be flexible with your search criteria

Look beyond your typical type. It will help expand your options. It seems counterintuitive. But you subliminally have a person in mind, and it’s natural to keep looking for this type of person.

It’s easy to build specific criteria in your mind about the physical features, level of education, interests and if the person who presents is opposite of these interests, you may quickly dismiss them. But, if you do that, you do yourself a disservice. Getting over your usual habits and trying something different in dating is going to garner better dating results for you.

In fact, I would argue, that going against the grain will do you more good than harm. Increasing your dating pool improves your odds of finding a partner.

6. Analyse your past dates

Everyone isn’t for you, and that’s ok. If finding a relationship was easy, there would be no single people in the world. But, the reality is that it is difficult to find someone compatible.

Dating is a series of circumstances, good and bad, which ultimately lead you to the right person. You have to be in the game to win. If you meet some people you don’t click with, that is ok. Try to analyse your past dates. Think about what went well, what didn’t, and what you would like to do differently, similar to the way you would approach a promotion. Once you do, you’ll become even better at weeding out the non-starters.

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7. Make the first move

Sometimes you don’t message men because you think they won’t be attracted to you, but you may be wrong. The only way you can figure this out is by making the first move.

Some women I have coached have snagged some great men just by approaching them and starting a friendly conversation. If you see someone who catches your eye online, and they haven’t reached out to you, send them a friendly message with something that will peek their interest.

Analyse their profile, identify their interests and reference it in your message to them. Men respect women who approach them and make the first move because they know how hard this can be. They also like women who are spontaneous and not risk-adverse, which fits Modus operandi of an ambitious woman perfectly.

8. Be responsive, but play it cool

When someone reaches out and you are interested, make sure you are responsive. You don’t have to respond in 2 minutes, but 24 hours is an excellent window to show interest. Online dating has a rhythm to it, but high-quality men respect women that are not that easy to get. Don’t leave him hanging too long, but don’t make it extremely easy. It’s a balance. Put in as much energy in as you feel being reciprocated to you.

Online dating for an ambitious woman doesn’t have to be difficult. In fact, it can be fun if you change your approach. And now that you know these tips you are already off to a good start!

Elizabeth is a relationship coach often referred to as the 'relationship whisperer.' Her philosophy is that relationships take a focused effort. Finding the right person is one of the most important decisions in life and should be attended to with attention and care. Elizabeth helps her clients prepare for, find, and nurture healthy relationships.

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