dealing with rejection

Imagine a world where you got exactly what you wanted — all of the time. You never lose, or lost in life. It doesn’t exist. Rejection comes in many forms and dealing with rejection. I’m going to tell you right now that it’s ok to lose. It’s ok to feel rejection. It’s ok to get your heart broken, and feel sad and depressed about it. It inevitably makes you a tougher human being.

How you handle rejection will reveal a lot about you. Are you humble in this moment, or do you decide to get mean and blame your ex for the rejection? Your narcissistic ego can’t handle it? You must let your ego get pummeled from time-to-time in life. Do you know why? Because when you lose, you realize how important it is to win, and how the glory of accomplishment makes you feel inside. Win from within.

Rejection teaches you lessons in life. You need to be wise enough to understand what you can control, and what you can’t control in life. You can influence with your power of persuasion (of course you can), however there are certain things that you can’t control in life — like a certain special woman’s feelings towards you. Those are hers. It’s obviously the best when your feelings are validated by your love in life, but unfortunately, this isn’t always the case.


‘Next’ is your hope. In other words, if this woman doesn’t work out for you, you must say, ‘Next’. You can get some valuable practice with your dating life by going out on dates with different women. Next gives you power and confidence, because you’re not going to let everything get to you and take every rejection personally. Next will be your attitude, and it’s self-empowering.

‘Next’ puts you in control, because you’re not going to let one loss or bad dating experience get to you. You know your self-worth and value, and you will have confidence that you will find the right fit eventually. You will be wise enough not to jump into that next bad relationship too quickly. Dating is like an interview process for a job; perhaps you will need to be patient to find the right fit for you. Both of you are getting to know each other and interviewing each other for the part. Some ‘interviews’ work out, some just aren’t the right fit. That’s just the way that it is.

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There are plenty of times when I took the ‘Next’ approach in my life, it was the best decision that I could make at the time, and you will thank me for it. This way, you don’t get hung up on exes, dwell on past mistakes, or beat yourself up over what you could of done better in the relationship. Saying ‘Next’ allows you to move on with your life, and gives you power and control over your present and future dating decisions.

She moves on

This is the difficult part after a bad breakup — she will inevitably move on. It’s time for that underwhelming dork of a guy to take your place. Your successor will appear to be a complete underwhelming idiot, not very good-looking, and you can’t believe that she’d fall for that doofus, but she did. Now you will have to deal with the consequences of your breakup. It’s best to let go of your ex, because the relationship has run its course, you already had your time with her, and she’s already moved on with her life with her new guy of the future (who will never live up to the likes of yourself).

This can feel like a form of rejection, because your giant ego will take a huge blow. You expect women to miss you, cry about you, think about you while you’re gone, but this isn’t the case. Women don’t do that. They move on to the next victim. You should feel happy, (despite the pain), to be completely free from her and to move on with your own life. You can take your time, and peruse the endless possibilities. It’s best to try to be friendly with your ex, despite how she’s damaged your ego. If you can’t make peace with her, move forward, and avoid her as much as possible for your own sanity.

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You’re the rejector

You won’t always get rejected (hopefully, you won’t). If you learned anything with your experience on this wonderful earthly plane, you will reject them periodically. Perhaps you just don’t see anything with her, or you’re not attracted to her, or you don’t see a future with her. You must let her know — gently. Sometimes, it’s best to just block her number or her communication with you, as cruel as that sounds, but you will move on and she will as well.

While you’re the rejector, if you have any consideration or empathy for another female, you will not want to hurt her feelings. This is why you must handle this in a gentle fashion, and try to be a gentleman about it. No one wants to see a woman in pain crying over you and how you hurt her emotionally. I’ve been there, and it feels pretty crappy. I know that there were moments in my past that I could have handled with some more tactical pinache.

While you’re playing the role of the rejector, please remember how it felt for yourself to be rejected. Remember that hurtful emotional pain that she put you through. This is why you must show empathy to her feelings, and be truthful with her, and end things in a gentle and respectful manner, so that she won’t want to tear your eyes out. If you live with her, make sure that you get your things out of there first before ending the relationship. This is always a good idea, if you value your possessions.

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Dealing with the emotional pain

Sometimes after feeling rejected by someone emotionally, it can send you spinning into a downward spiral of despair. You may want to turn to alcohol to numb the pain, or lose yourself in other substances through substance abuse. I urge you to avoid this, it will only make things worse for you, and you may find yourself sinking into deeper trouble. If it’s a breakup, and you feel rejected, you will need to take necessary time to heal your heart.

Alone time will benefit you (if you approach it positively), despite the emotional pain that you’re currently feeling. Remember, that bad moments will pass in life, and you can’t always lose in life. You need to allow yourself to heal your heart, get through this rough moment, and when you’re ready to date again, feel free to date whoever you want to. Don’t dwell on mistakes in your relationship or beat yourself up too much over things that you couldn’t completely control. Control what you can, and let the things that you can’t control fall to the wayside.

Do things and activities that make you happy, perhaps you can rekindle friendships, pursue your interests, but don’t dwell on the past and what went wrong in the relationship. Do not attempt to get her back, and beg! There is nothing more unmanly than begging when you’re in a vulnerable state of mind.

Dealing with rejection is never easy as there are usually hurt feelings at stake. It’s best to learn from your bad experiences in relationships, and use your wisdom to your benefit. Don’t take rejection personally, and don’t let this destroy your ego, because you need to keep in mind that everyone experiences rejection in life. You are not alone, remember that.

William is a graphic designer and creative writer. One of his favourite interests is reading books about relationships. He recommends ‘How to Succeed with Women’ and Doc Love’s ‘The System’. He has two adorable children that he enjoys spending time with. William is currently single and is preparing for his next relationship. You can follow him on Twitter.

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