tips for men

If life is what you make it, then certainly, dating is what you make it to be. There are things that happen in our lives that are completely outside of our control, such as natural disasters. However, you can avoid disasters in your dating life if you are conscientious and proactive about recognizing what you need to do to have harmony in your relationship.

If you are a man who has been exclusively dating the same woman for six months or more, then you should strive to avoid common relationship pitfalls that men tend to make when the ‘honeymoon period’ is over. The fact that you’ve continued to date the same woman for more than six months is a sign that you feel attached to the person you’re with. After all, if you didn’t want to be with her, you have plenty of options to find someone else, especially in this day and age when meeting someone new is easy to do thanks to the many wonderful dating websites available. Here are some dating tips for men that you need to follow.

Continue to compliment her

Women enjoy being appreciated, and nothing makes a woman feel more appreciated than when the man she loves tells her that he thinks that she is beautiful and desirable. Maybe you poured on the compliments at the start of the relationship and you feel secure enough now that you feel you don’t need to let your lady know how much you admire her. But, it’s a big mistake to assume that what you did to win your girlfriend over at the start of the relationship is not necessary to do now that you’ve been together for a while. Many relationships have ended due to one person feeling that they are being taken for granted. By showing your partner how attracted you are to her, you can prevent her from feeling unappreciated by you.

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You should aim to be one of your girlfriend’s favourite people to spend quality time with. She’ll gradually resent you if she feels that you are complaining about her more than you are complimenting her. She might put up with your constant gripes for a while because she loves you and wants to make things work, but eventually, she will grow cold and distant from you if you don’t change your ways. Were you not shown a positive example of what a healthy adult relationship looks like while you were growing up? If so, you need to do your best to avoid repeating the mistakes that you witnessed as a child by being a loving boyfriend to your girlfriend.

Don’t get too comfortable

It’s amazing how many people put more effort into making good impressions to their employers on a daily basis, and they don’t put forth similar efforts towards to make their relationships great. Have you stopped trying to impress your girlfriend? Women don’t like when their men ‘let themselves go’ any more than men like it when women do it. You need to take care of yourself and look your best. Acting like a couch potato who watches television non-stop while you wear your sweat pants is not a reality that your girlfriend wants to see every day. Once in a while, it’s okay to lounge, but women prefer men who are productive. Laziness is not a virtue.

Women also like men who are responsible. Have you been asking your girlfriend for money to tide you over until your next paycheque? Don’t make a habit of asking your partner for a loan, even if she earns more income than you do. I’ve dated a few men who weren’t financially secure, and their situations made me feel uneasy. I completely understand when a man is disabled and his disability affects his ability to earn income, however, there are men who still find ways to work despite having special needs.

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Years ago when I was working for a home shopping network, I regularly witnessed one of the employees working in the call centre on the computer and on the phones in spite of the fact that he had a disability with his hand. That man prided himself on being independent. I have a friend who has cognitive impairment due to a disability, and for as long as I’ve known him, he’s been self-employed working from his home on his computer in the financial industry even though he has special needs. The sad thing is, the men I’d dated who occasionally asked to borrow money from me were perfectly healthy and able to increase their incomes if they wanted to. However, they preferred complaining about their finances instead of solving their financial problems. If you get so comfortable that you don’t think twice about asking your lady love for a small loan, you’re risking alienating her.

Avoid being possessive

There’s nothing cute about being a controlling mate. The woman who you’re with does not enjoy having her every move being watched by you. There’s a difference between being caring, and being dictatorial. She doesn’t want to deal with your overreacting about every time she goes out with her friends without you. You’re not your girlfriend’s parent, and she doesn’t want another adult monitoring her movements.

By all means, show her that you care. But you can do that without demanding that she report to you with a list of all of the activities she engages in when she’s not around you. Women want to be with men who are trustworthy, and women wanted to respected and treated as though they are trustworthy too. It’s insulting for a woman to have to defend her actions every time her man interrogates her. Everyone needs individual breathing room to focus on their thoughts. You need to let your girlfriend know that you want to have balance in the relationship where you can support each other, be loyal to each other, and have space from each other if needed.

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Your mate can be part of your life, but she shouldn’t be seen as an extension of you. Give your girlfriend the love that she craves, but you shouldn’t be smothering her. If she tells you that she needs breathing room, then give it to her. Treat your relationship like a job. Some people dread going to work, but I feel that working should be a source of joy. If you don’t enjoy your job, then you should be seeking a new career. If you aren’t willing to work consistently to improve your dating experiences in the same way that you’d work to improve your performance at your job, you won’t reap the rewards that you could be reaping. Be a gentleman, treat your girlfriend with respect, and consistently work for what you want if you would rather that your girlfriend look up to you instead of look down on you. Above all, what you should want most during your dating experiences are joy and love.

Akua is a Canadian born and raised girl with Caribbean roots. She is a journalist, actress, music teacher, performer, owner and marketer of 3 worldwide dating websites, as well as an independent Pure Romance business owner selling passion products for singles and couples.

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