why you should break up

We’ve all been there – that terrible relationship we stay in way too long. When we look back at those times, the writing on the wall was always in big, bold capital letters, saying break up and run, run away!

Of course, hindsight is always 20/20, and we learn from our mistakes (hopefully!), but perhaps having a list of signs to watch out for would be helpful in this arena.

Although there are probably hundreds of things that could easily trigger the warning bells, here are just 5 reasons you should break up and run away from him as fast as you can!

He won’t introduce you to his friends and family

You’ve been dating for a few months now, and he’s met all of your friends. You’ve even taken him home for Sunday dinner to meet your parents, and it all went smoothly.  Sounds great, like things are on track, right?

Except… although there have been many opportunities, he has not introduced you to a single one of his peeps, and the mere mention of you meeting his family makes him tremble.

What does it mean when he keeps a healthy distance between his worlds like this?  Well… unfortunately, it means he’s not ready to incorporate you into his everyday life, and that’s not a good sign.

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You want to be in a relationship where you and the people in his life fuse together naturally – but how’s that going to happen if he keeps you locked away like Rapunzel?

He doesn’t have your back

You’re out at a bar or a nightclub, and some jerky guy has had one too many and is drooling all over you.  Your boyfriend sits back and lets you “deal with it” without an ounce of intervention.

You run into his ex-girlfriend who clearly has a problem with you and doesn’t hesitate to tear a strip off you in front of everyone.  Your boyfriend holds his tongue, saying you need to fight your own battles.

You come home in tears after a terrible day at work – you had a huge project dumped on you at the last minute, you need to cancel your vacation time and they aren’t giving bonuses this year. Your boyfriend says you need to “get over it” and “oh yeah, what’s for dinner?”

Bottom line is that he doesn’t have your back.  He doesn’t feel protective or loyal to you and that’s never going to go anywhere good.  You deserve to be with someone who will defend you when necessary and who will always go the extra mile to make sure you know you’re covered.

He says he’s here when he’s actually there

He heads out the door saying he’s going to go watch the game with the guys at the local down the street.  No problem, you say, have a great time!

A few weeks later the credit card bill comes in and you happen to notice a hefty amount has been spent at a fancy French restaurant across town.  On the same night, he was supposed to be at the pub with his pals!

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Mayday, mayday!  There’s very little recovery from this one. And you can pretty much bet that it’s not the first – or last – time you will find yourself in this predicament if you stay in this relationship.

If this doesn’t push you out the door as it should, it will definitely be a moment you look back on and kick yourself for the wasted time.

He still talks to his ex but keeps it from you

Of course, you know that your boyfriend has been in other relationships prior to being with you. And you wouldn’t even have a problem if he kept in touch with any of his formers… which he does!

Problem is… he keeps it from you.  As in, he sneaks around behind your back sending his ex flirty little texts and emails, meets up with her for coffee or drinks and the occasional lunch.

And worst of all, when you confront him about this, he turns it around so that you’re the controlling one!

Honesty is the key, the foundation of any relationship and if it’s missing between the two of you, there’s going to be serious problems. Add the emotional manipulation, and you’ve got a sure-fire recipe for disaster.

Money goes missing from your wallet

You could swear that when you went to the bank yesterday that you took out $200 – and you haven’t been anywhere since… so how is it that you only have $160 left in your wallet?

Wait a minute – this isn’t the first time you’ve been left scratching your head as you dump the contents your purse on the counter, telling yourself the missing amount must be in there somewhere!

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Yup.  Your boyfriend is stealing from you. Like a thief in the night, he’s pilfering a bit here and a bit there, hoping you won’t notice.  And even if you did notice, you certainly wouldn’t call him out on it – after all, he’s your boyfriend!  He’s counting on that…

One of the clearest signs in the world that it’s time to call this one quits – and that you may want to change your passwords as well.

Again, we could go on endlessly about why you could have your running shoes ready at the back door, but these are just 5 examples of reasons why you should break up and run away from him as fast as you can.

Dharma is an advice columnist who strives to be fair, firm and funny all while dispensing sound advice to your everyday problems. Questions regarding family, friends, and spouses, problems on the job, etiquette dilemmas - if you can think of it, it’s probably been asked!

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