How can I be successful in dating?

I’ve been trying to find a girlfriend for years with no luck. I am 25 now, and apart from a few dates, I’ve had no success with dating. I’ve tried various dating apps, and while I get a lot of matches and conversations going, it rarely evolves into anything else. When I try to be friendly and invite girls for a coffee, they seem to find all sorts of excuses not to meet. Picking up girls in the bars feels very superficial to me, and casual hookups are not exactly my thing. How can I be successful in dating?

Timothy, 25
Lucie Ebnerova
Answered by:
Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Hi Timothy,

This is a really good question! The answer has many layers and involves some work on your part. Here are four tips that will help you to be more successful in dating.

Allow yourself to see things from a different perspective and focus on things that are working. If bars and online dating aren’t your thing, there are many other ways to meet people through your hobbies, work, networking, volunteering, etc. Don’t limit your options, and don’t get discouraged. Find new ways to meet people and focus on enjoying the process of dating.

Create your own attraction code. We are all different, and that is what makes us attractive. Create the best version of yourself and never stop growing. Find what makes you extraordinary, embrace a lifestyle that you enjoy, and show it with confidence. Ask yourself what makes you unique, what your best qualities are, and what others appreciate about you.

Show your masculine energy. Take action and make decisions that are important to you. Masculine energy naturally attracts feminine energy. Explore both energies and learn how to express your masculinity. Don’t overthink it; you naturally have this energy, but you must learn how to use it when it comes to dating.

Don’t be needy. Don’t believe that you need to have someone in life in order to be fulfilled, but rather focus on how a partner can further enrich your already amazing life. Needing someone is different than being with someone, and independence is an attractive quality.

When it comes to dating and life in general, I want you to remember to always be yourself first and foremost. Dating might feel like a challenging task, but if you always remember to stay true to your values and goals, it will naturally change many things in your life!


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