she is not into you

You really like that woman that you’ve went out with, but she eludes you? You’re probably turning her off without not even realising it. Usually when a woman likes you, you can just tell — It’s pretty clear. But how do you tell if she is not into you? If you’re not feeling confident about yourself, and you can’t seem win with dating, you probably need some help in your love life.

Does she leave the date as soon as the check comes? Does she not give you a clear indication as to whether you will both meet up again? Does she get an emergency call from a friend of hers while you are in the middle of your date? Does she stand you up with no explanation, or is she always too busy for you? You likely have a woman with low interest level on your hands. These are the top signs that she is not into you.

1. She makes excuses for not showing up to dates

When you call her for the date, and she tells you that she can’t show up because her car broke down, you probably have one with low interest level in you. If you offer to pick her up, but she gives you another excuse like, “It’s just too far,” or “I should probably just stay home tonight, because I’m really stressed out about my car,” you can come to the conclusion that she is not into you. You may want to give her another chance on another date (if she counteroffers), but if she doesn’t counteroffer with a different evening or time for the next date, it’s probably best to throw in the towel with her. Other women are out there.

2. She’d rather spend time with her ‘friends’

If you have your hopes up that you’re going to have such a great time with her on your date tonight — think again. Maybe she’ll surprise you and call you at the last minute that her friends invited her out, and she never spends time with her friends anymore! “Is that ok with you?” Of course it is, because you don’t want to lose her, and she’ll do whatever she wants with you, because she knows that you’re into her. If she’s always making plans with her friends, (and with ‘friends’, I may be referring to fellow male co-workers or possible ex-boyfriends), and she’s putting you on the back burner, she has low interest level in you. She is not into you. She may also go out with her girlfriends a lot, and never ‘check in’ to see how you’re doing. You’re a heartbroken and depressed mess, sitting at home feeling discouraged, bored, and alone, but this isn’t about you — It’s about her! She’s having so much more fun with Don from work, enjoying red wine and having a fun night out! You know… That Donny guy that she talks about all of the time who is so witty and funny and makes her laugh, because he’s like Vince Vaughn? She doesn’t care about you. If you feel like she’s never making you a priority, and everything else (including Donny) is more important to her, that’s because he is. Reality hurts sometimes, doesn’t it?

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3. You annoy her or make her angry

Does she put you down a lot, insult you, or (even worse) threaten you? Does your presence just make her anxious and angry with you? Does she roll her eyes at you a lot, and you notice that she’s not joking around with you anymore or being pleasantly sarcastic? Do you just annoy her and piss her off a lot when you talk with her? Guess what? She probably hates seeing your face or hearing your voice! If you draw out a mother load of negative emotions from her, she’s either a complete basket case, or she has tremendously low interest level in you. If she enjoys being with you, she will treat you with respect and make time for you. You shouldn’t take her disrespect, so I’d suggest a clean exit from her. Just watch out for that plate that she throws at you when leaving her presence and breaking it off with her.

4. She is gazing around, not listening to you

She will look around at other men, not listen to you, or feel very restless when she is not into you. She won’t be engaged with conversation, and even worse, she may roll her eyes at you! If you feel like she’s not enjoying herself, and that you’re wasting her time, it’s best to end the date as soon as possible. Be kind, pay for the date, walk her to her car (if she wants you to; most women who aren’t into you won’t want you to see her out). It’s your job to control what you can, so if you’re sensing her interest level is low with you, just end the date. Simple as that. Then don’t talk to her again, and start hustling other women who are into you. Maybe she’s missing out on a good guy, and find a woman who will really appreciate you and want to spend time with you. Don’t waste your time on the wrong woman.

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5. She doesn’t reply to your text messages

If you text her, and she doesn’t reply, she is not into you. A woman who is into you will make time for you, she will be excited to talk to you, and she can’t wait for you to text her again. If you ask her a question, and she doesn’t reply and is completely silent, don’t text her again. Don’t send her that message, “Did you get my previous text? How are you?” Better yet, don’t even bother wasting your time with her. If she is into you, she’ll initiate texting or reply back (eventually). If she’s busy, this is understandable (for instance, maybe she’s out of town or on vacation with her family). However, if she seems too busy to even text you simple things, she is not into you. Women will make time for you, and they’re never too busy. She’s probably at home watching Netflix with her doggie, but she doesn’t want to talk to you.

6. She is always on her phone during the date

If she’s on her phone during the date, her phone is more important to her. Forget the living human male sitting across the table! This is so rude, and you should consider leaving the date if she’s excessively checking her phone. She can easily do this during her restroom break, or after the date. If she’s merely checking it occasionally, give her some slack, but if she’s paying more attention to her phone than yourself, you should politely wrap up the date. She is not into you if she’s checking her Instagram for compliments and comments from other men, or checking her texts from other guys. Most women won’t do this during the date, but if she does, this is a crystal clear sign that she is not into you and she’s not respecting you. Do you want to feel important to her, or do you enjoy feeling disrespected? You can’t control her behavior, but you can control your own. Perhaps you ask her politely to put her phone in her purse during the date? If she doesn’t listen to you, she’s being blatantly rude to you during your date, and she likely has low interest level in you. Hopefully some evening down the road sometime, she will bump into you at a restaurant enjoying a date with a very attractive woman laughing at your jokes. Karma is great!

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These are red flags to watch out for if she has low interest level in you. A woman who really wants you, loves your company and can’t wait to go home after your date to rip your clothes off. It’s more important that you pay attention to how she’s treating you during the date. Watch her body language, see if there’s a powerful connection and chemistry. If there isn’t, remember that there are plenty of other women out there for you. The whole purpose is to learn from your bad dates and experiences, so that when you find the right match you will really appreciate it and feel grateful to be with her.

William is a graphic designer and creative writer. One of his favourite interests is reading books about relationships. He recommends ‘How to Succeed with Women’ and Doc Love’s ‘The System’. He has two adorable children that he enjoys spending time with. William is currently single and is preparing for his next relationship. You can follow him on Twitter.

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