dating rules

Like most young singletons I’ve been on a fair few Tinder dates. Some bad, some very bad. The only good thing about this is that now I know quite clearly what I like and what I don’t.

Cinema is an obvious no-no, meals are way too much commitment and when you’re a lightweight like me, evening drinks can be a little awkward. You can’t beat an afternoon coffee. You’re not left alone and depressed on a Saturday night if they bail, the caffeine is just enough to relax your nerves (whilst maintaining your senses!), and if all else fails you’re just an espresso away from making a quick dash through the door.

Now let me tell you about a recent date with the Big Frugal Giant or the BFG, where my dating rules didn’t go quite to plan.

Rule 1: Initial attraction

With the BFG there was an initial attraction, leading to the crucial right swipe. True, there weren’t many ‘bants’ but when he invited me out for a drink on an otherwise dull Sunday I thought I didn’t have much to lose. We agreed on this cute bar for the drink. This was breaking my usual ‘coffee on the first date‘ rule. But, as the bar was within walking distance from my flat and it was a Sunday, which automatically made everything more casual I thought this was still a safe option.

As I got ready, I decided to go for a relatively chilled look: floaty top, white denim jacket, flared jeans and my mid heel wedges. I’ve learnt not to wear my usual 6-inch heels on dates anymore for a few reasons:

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1. They aren’t comfortable when you’re walking to the date.

2. You’re so much more likely to have an embarrassing stumble.

3. You’re a lot less likely to find the guy attractive when he’s shorter than you due to your heels.

However, as you’ve probably guessed by this guy’s name, I needn’t of worried about number 3. He was tall, very tall. He was actually 6’ 7″! True, I don’t normally look for guys with quite as extreme gigantic qualities, but I must admit I did find this quite hot.

Rule 2: Punctuality is key

The looks were there and I was also impressed by the fact that he had arrived at the date early. I think in the ‘olden’ days it was a given that the guy arrived first. Sadly, in my experiences of the modern dating world, they are usually a good 10-15 minutes late. So, we were off to a good start, he’d passed the punctuality and height tests. Now, for the drink. Call me a princess but I always think the guy should get the first drink. Especially when he’s invited you on the date – it’s just a given. Luckily, he passed this test too and bought me my standard Diet Coke. While I’d love to have something stronger, I’m the ultimate lightweight so for the first date I always think it’s a safer bet to go with something non-alcoholic.

Rule 3: A little more conversation

Sipping on our drinks I was pleased to discover we actually had quite a lot in common, he worked at Portsmouth Union, and I worked at Southampton Union. He did running and Tough Mudders, I do running and have considered maybe one day perhaps doing a Tough Mudder. It could happen! On to the second drink and I got this one. This is only fair, as I do like to pay my way. True, they get bonus points if they outright refuse to let me pay but this isn’t a deal-breaker. Two drinks down, he suggested going for a walk which was cute and nice extension of the date. Things were going well.

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After a short walk, the weather gods were against us and it started to rain. Our stroll then got diverted as he walked me home. At the end of the date there was no passionate movie goodbye kiss in the rain, but all in all, it had been a pleasurable experience. I was even more pleased when he texted me that night and again the next day to organize another date just two days after.

Rule 4: Second impression matters

The second date was a trip to the cinema. Okay, I know the cinema is a definite no-go for a first date, but as this was our second and we were going for drinks as well and I wanted to see the film, I was willing to make an exception. Getting ready for this date I decided to break some more dating rules and bring out my nice coral 6 inch wedges. I was going on a date with a guy who was 6’7″, so I had to make the most of this.

The BFG had also agreed to pick me up so I thought walking was going to be at a minimum. How wrong I was! You see, despite the fact that the cinema car park costs a maximum of £3.50 of an evening or £1.30 when you get your ticket stamped at the cinema, The BFG parked a good mile from the cinema, and his decision to ‘save money’ was wrong on so many levels.

1. It was only our second date, so he should definitely still be trying to impress me and look generous.

2. It’s not like parking is expensive. How bad did he want to save money?

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3. And 3 most importantly – did he not see my shoes? These definitely weren’t made for walking!

Rule 5: Keeping the romance alive

So, after a painful totter to the cinema, my mood wasn’t great and it was made even worse by the fact that when it came to buying the cinema tickets instead of saying “I’ll get these” as a nice romantic generous offer, he looked at his wallet and mumbled: “I GUESS I’ll get these”. And they say romance is dead! Even with the painful trek, we still had a bit of time to kill before the film started so we went to get a drink.

Arriving at the bar I thought I better get these, I didn’t want him to have an embolism or anything. Sadly, the conversation didn’t help to distract from his frugal nature as he told me the list of things he wouldn’t spend money on and his preferred supermarket choices – it was fascinating hearing how he thought Waitrose was a rip-off, just what you want to talk about on a second date!

After the drink, we then faced the typical cinema date awkwardness of:

• Not knowing at which point to stop talking in the trailers

• How friendly is too friendly?

• How to react to the annoying people talking in front of you?

As the film came to an end and we made the painful ‘unbanterful’ walk to the car, I realized the BFG wasn’t for me. What good is a giant if you can’t wear your heels?

So, as I returned home I sent the standard polite thank you text, before deleting his number, unmatching him on Tinder, and beginning my next search.

Alana is a slightly scatty Southsea based PR girl who writes about beauty, fashion, wedding stories, reviews, travel adventures, and just her general wonderings. After being a bridesmaid seven times and writing a wedding blog, she finally met her prince charming and is currently planning her own wedding.

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