how to play a player

No one likes to be played. Unfortunately, a lot of women, myself included, know players too well. The anxiety and the self-doubt that follows after a player has wreaked havoc in your life is not something I want to wish any single lady to experience. If you fell into the trap of a sweet talker, I’ll share some tips on how to play a player and beat him at his own game.

1. Be unpredictable

A player will pull away the moment you show interest because that just means the tactics he played on you are working. Once he has you twirled around his fingers, he is more likely to move on to his next target.

A way to keep this guy hooked is to act unpredictably. Be hot and cold in your actions by showing him you’re interested in him one second and then act aloof the next.

By being unpredictable, it will have him second-guessing the moves you’ll pull next and keep him on their toes. All the moves he’s pulled on other women won’t work as easily on you if you keep this hot and cold game up.

2. Don’t give in to his charms

Something a player knows how to do well is leveraging his charm. He is not exactly a man of his words. He’ll shower you with hollow compliments, flirt with you, and go out of his way to impress you just to get you hooked on him.

While there’s no proven way to play a player back effectively, not succumbing to his charm can work wonders. Always keep in mind that everything he does is tailored to get you to fall for him. Don’t give in because as soon as you show a sliver of interest, he’ll get bored of the chase and start to pull away.

If you’re immune to his charms, ultimately, he’ll start questioning himself as to why his tactics are not working as effectively on you. He might even pull all of his moves out of desperation to try to get under your skin. This is the perfect chance to use his tactics on him and rejecting his advances.

3. Don’t fall for him for the bare minimum

young couple on a date walking in park

It’s easy to simp over a man, especially if he ticks all your boxes in terms of attitude and behavior. Next thing you know, you would do anything for him.

When emotions are high, you can fall in love with a guy for the bare minimum. Things that are a common courtesy, like asking how your day went or opening the door for you, are now deemed the maximum effort a man can show.

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Sorry to break it to you, but a player is likely to be doing the same thing to other women. The end goal of a player is to make you fall in love with him and take advantage of your feelings, so remove rose-tinted glasses and try not to fall head over heels with him.

4. Be his ideal woman

A player would often present himself as someone that you truly desire. He would figure out the characteristics of an ideal man and act like one. If you want to know how to play a player and break his heart, you can try to play him at his own game and become his ideal woman.

Toy with his emotions by being someone he hasn’t encountered before, who won’t easily succumb to his sugar-coated ways. Be a woman he’d really want to take home to meet his parents, and in due time, someone who makes him think about his future.

Learn his deepest darkest secret, his love language, and his life aspirations. Become somebody who he can confide in as he has never done with anybody before. And when he least expects it, transform into the opposite of his dream woman. It will take him back and make him question whether your relationship is genuine.

A player would often present himself as someone that you truly desire. He would figure out the characteristics of an ideal man and act like one. Click To Tweet

5. Ignore his texts

What woman doesn’t love cute text messages to wake up to in the morning or sweet good night messages before falling asleep? Be careful because that’s how the players strike when you feel the most vulnerable.

A victim of a player would be available for him and give him attention 24/7. She’d be too clingy for his taste, and that will drive him away for sure. If you take away his power to woo you over text messages, the ball can now be in your court instead.

When you text him, ask him generic and random questions that won’t show your interest in him as a person. Still, be kind and friendly to signal that the possibility of a relationship is there, so you keep him interested in you.

6. Treat him as a placeholder

young woman showing tongue

A placeholder boyfriend is someone you hang out with and do things that a normal couple would do. The only difference is that he’s only “holding” the place until someone better comes along.

Treat him as a temporary distraction who’s only there whenever you’re bored. Let him know that you are keeping your options open and whatever is happening between you two is not serious.

Don’t include him in conversations regarding your future, and give subtle cues that he can be replaced with a snap of your fingers. Act as if he doesn’t matter, and you are only bridging the gap until you find somebody more deserving of your company.

7. Be too busy for him

When dealing with a player, it’s essential to be not too available for him. Make sure you don’t say yes every time he asks you out for a date. Instead, act like you’ve got better things to do.

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To make it sting a little more, drop some hints that you already have plans to go on dates with other men. Players thrive by being a woman’s priority, so he’ll certainly be bothered if you don’t give him your time.

Make him feel like he’s the second choice to everything until he’s desperate enough for your attention. Reject his invitations or bail last minute. Of course, always take a raincheck to keep him roped in!

Make him feel like he's the second choice to everything until he's desperate enough for your attention. Click To Tweet

8. Don’t share too much

It is easy to lay all your cards out on the table and share too much when you get to know a guy. You may think by being vulnerable, you can progress faster in the relationship. This tactic probably won’t work if you’re dealing with a player, as showing too much might push him away.

The key to how to play a player is to be as mysterious and elusive as possible. Don’t let him put you into a box, especially the same box he’s put other women into. Share the least information possible about yourself, so he can’t have anything to leverage his game on.

9. Show him you can have fun without him

young people partyning

Players love a woman who knows how to have fun. Think of the cool chick from Gone Girl. When you want to play a player, be the cool girl even when he’s not around just to show him what exactly he’s missing out on.

Paint the town with your friends and post it on your Instagram story. Let the guy know that you don’t need his presence to have fun. Try hanging out with other guys, or even better, his friends. This will surely light a fire under him.

10. Date more than one man

When you know someone is a player, it’s an unspoken truth that he is dating multiple women at once. An effective way to play a player is to let him know that he’s not the only choice you’ve got.

The best way to really make him squirm is to date his friend or, even better, his best friend. It will challenge him, and he’ll amp up his game to win you over. His confidence will also take a hit, and he’ll definitely wonder, “What does he have that I don’t?”.

While you’re dating other men, you can even try to “accidentally” send your player guy a text. Send him a funny meme, cute compliments, or even raunchy text but make it seem like it was meant for someone else. This will rile him up or even hurt his feelings a little, knowing that there are others out there who are taking up your attention.

An effective way to play a player is to let him know that he's not the only choice you've got. Click To Tweet

11. Disappear from his radar

This might be a tricky tactic, but it’ll work if you’ve got him wrapped around your finger. If you’ve been intensely chatting him up or hanging out with him, ghost him for no reason. Disappear for a short time to keep him guessing and play with his emotions.

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Hide your Instagram stories from him, don’t reply to his texts nor answer his calls, and truly get off his radar. Your sudden disappearance will make him wonder if he’s done something wrong and will plummet his self-confidence. If he genuinely cares, he’ll do anything to get you back into his life again.

12. Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss

young confident woman

We have Twitter to thank for this strategy. The saying “gaslight, gatekeep, girl boss” was coined as an alternative to the famous saying “live, laugh, love.” The phrase went viral on Twitter to showcase how our fellow men often take women’s confidence and dominance lightly.

This might be just a funny meme circling around Twitter, but it can also be a great principle if you are dealing with a player. Gaslight him to make him a little bit inferior, gatekeep his influence and presence on your life, and be the best girl boss you are.

13. Make sure you don’t put out

When girls are hard to get, especially when it comes to intimate encounters, players will see this as a challenge. Tease him and act like you are up for it, but don’t put out for as long as you can. This will make him tempted to keep pursuing you instead of anyone else.

He’ll try to do anything to get you into bed with him, but you’ve gotta have strong self-control to not cave in. Think of it this way, once he gets what he wants, he’ll move on to pursue other girls.

Gaslight him to make him a little bit inferior, gatekeep his influence and presence on your life, and be the best girl boss you are. Click To Tweet

14. Focus on yourself

The best way to get revenge on a player, out of everything, is to live your life the way you really want it to be. Show all the players in your life that you’re unbothered by their game.

Focus on your growth and self-love because when he sees you happy and having the time of your life without him, he will come crawling back. This can range from doing a kick-ass job with your career, glowing up by getting fit, or just living your truth. Sure, you might be sad for a while after you get heartbroken, but there are always valuable lessons to learn.

At least now you know what men to avoid in the future. You will spot the red flags more quickly so you do not fall victim to any player that might come your way.

And in the meantime, these tips on playing a player will help you get that sweet feeling of revenge on the guy who tried to manipulate you.

Diana is a passionate beauty and lifestyle blogger. She loves writing about her journey of self-discovery and self-care and analyzing all the aspects of relationships.

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