Attracting a date from an online dating website is a process that starts with your member profile on the site. If your profile is lacking in finesse, then you may find yourself lacking in online dating opportunities. Similar to how butter and flour are necessary ingredients for baking a cake, words and pictures are needed to create an online dating member profile masterpiece.
But, what if you are struggling to create the profile that will help you to transition from being a single person searching for love to a happily matched person? There are dating coaches who are willing to provide online dating help and manage your profile for a fee. Is that the route that you should take if you want to maximize your chance of success with online dating? Here are some things to consider about paying someone to assist you with managing your profile.
Learn how to market yourself
I’ve never asked anyone else to manage my dating site profile, but there are some obvious benefits to hiring a dating professional to overlook your profile and provide feedback on how your profile looks to other members of the site. If you’re going to use the feedback to make the improvements on your own, then that is very useful because you’ll increase your skills on how to market yourself to other single people either on the dating website or away from the dating site. However, if you allow someone else to make all of the changes to your online dating profile, then you will miss out on personal growth opportunities that you can learn via online dating.
A dating site member profile is like a gym membership; if you don’t use it strategically, then you won’t reap the rewards. Do you think that you would achieve your fitness goals if you gave your membership to your fitness trainer and told your fitness trainer to exercise at the gym instead of you using the membership for yourself? If you did that, you wouldn’t be able to personally reach your fitness goals. You’d achieve your result faster if you used your gym membership and your trainer was by your side coaching you on how to use it to get to where you want to be. The same applies to online dating; let your coach guide you while you do the work to market yourself.
Get familiar with the website
When you give someone else the reins to areas of your life that you could and should be controlling for yourself, you won’t develop the familiarity that you should have with how that area of your life should work. For instance, if you allow someone else to control your finances and bank account, then you risk being unaware of whether or not your money is working for you the way that it should. The same could be said for your dating membership. Allowing someone else to answer the messages that you receive from other members could result in you not feeling personally invested in those potential matches.
How will another person know what kind of connection you feel with someone else? Your dating coach might think that you would get along with a particular member of the site simply because you each have common goals listed on the profile. However, you may discover that the other member’s personality doesn’t mesh with yours when an actual meeting between the two of you takes place. An intermediary can’t form a close relationship with someone else for you; you will only truly know how you feel about someone when you are interacting with them on your own.
Present yourself in the best light
Online dating is an opportunity to present who you are in the best light possible. I believe that preparing yourself for a new relationship requires the same serious attitude that you would put into preparing yourself for a new career. Just like there’s nothing wrong with hiring a head hunter to help you find a job, it’s perfectly fine to hire a professional dating coach or matchmaker to help you find a mate. A job recruiter would present all of your professional qualifications to potential employers, and based on how the job recruiter sells your skills, you might be hired and you would have to do all of the work.
But just like the situation that I described above on how a job recruiter can arrange jobs and then you would need to complete all of the employment tasks, the same applies to the online dating process. A relationship coach can guide you on how to make yourself seem appealing to prospective dating site members, but you would need to follow through and actually showcase the positive sides of your personality to your matches. Once the seed has been planted, you will be responsible to help make the relationship grow. As long as you understand that your dating coach can only do so much to help you and that it’s up to you implement your coach’s suggestions, then you should be fine with paying someone to help you with online dating.
Hiring a professional to get some online dating help with improving your profile is better than you hiring someone to completely manage the profile for you. A coach can encourage you, but the people that you meet through the dating site will want to know the real you and not someone else’s version of who you are. Use the dating coach’s suggestions to educate yourself on how you can use online dating to your advantage, and then get to work on being an active and informed online dater who is equipped to promote yourself. You will be better off if you manage your own profile with occasional guidance from a dating coach.