text message

Within the past year I’ve sent over 40,928,927 Whatsapp messages. Whilst I may have completely made that estimate up, I wouldn’t say it’s that far off the actual number. Messaging is how we tend to communicate. It’s how we speak to our friends, our parents, our bosses, our nail technicians or our hairdresser’s best friend’s sister’s dog.

The point is we use text message a lot to get in touch with people, including our potential love interests.  A lot of girls get frustrated by texting; the rules, the anxiety, the waiting around for him to message back, but surely there are some positives? Surely the world of texting has had some favourable effects on the way we date?

Here are the top five texting scenarios that have positively changed the way we date.

Having time to plan your response

The (potential) love of your life has sent you a text message. And boy, has it annoyed you.

If he had said anything like this to you in person, you wouldn’t have thought twice about it. You would have sassed yourself out of the situation like Beyoncé in a music video, but not before giving him a verbal bashing with every bit of strength within you. However with text message, you have time. You have a chance to plan your response, your reaction and your (hopeful) result.

You are able to think before you act. In a real life situation, you could say something you regret and portray yourself in a petty, childish or completely unreasonable light. Being able to properly think about and compose your response, and even re-evaluate the situation and potentially see the reasons why his message has angered you so much in the first place, could have a positive affect.

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*Or you could figure out that you have absolute justification for sending the greatest rant of your life back to him in Whatsapp form. Whatever the outcome, we’re sure your text message response will be a better thought out one, rather than the furious outburst of emotions that could have escalated the situation in real life time!

Texting habits can show you what he’s really like

“He messaged me one hour ago, so now I’ll have to wait one hour until I message him back.” This attitude isn’t unusual in the land of texting. Playing it cool is made easy when you’re communicating over a WiFi connection. But imagine this conversation if it wasn’t related to texting.

“He spoke to me one hour ago, so now I’ll have to wait one hour until I reply back to his question.”

Can you imagine? Meeting up on a date but being super cool and not replying to any of questions for a certain amount of time, just so you don’t seem overly keen? He would think you were either a) socially inept or b) insane, or, most likely, both.

The playing it cool approach is a great annoyance of most daters, and for good reasons, but it can have a positive effect – it can show you what a person is like. If a guy seems to be playing it overly cool or taking a silly amount of time to respond to your text message, it could show you a representation of him that may influence your feelings toward him. If he can’t even be bothered to reply to a message within two days, is he really worth caring about?  The power of texting has shown you that the answer to this is probably not.

Screen-shotting conversations

What do you plead, ladies and gentlemen? For the most part, I bet we can all put our hands on our hearts and plead guilty because, let’s face it, we’ve all done it. Yes, we’ve all committed the screenshot crime.

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Your crush sends you a text message that you can’t quite comprehend. Urgh. So, of course, you do the only thing you can do. You screenshot the message and pass it into the group chat. Your friends are the judge, jury and prosecutor; they analyse the message from the inside out, eager to help you decode the message of mystery from your partner of choice.

The screenshot technique means you can get your friends’ opinion in a way that you couldn’t in person; when you are face to face with your date, you have more of a chance to interpret their words of choice but you have to do it yourself. There is no time to capture his literal words and pass them onto your friends in a mass of mixed message panic.  Having your friends input can help you see the bigger picture – perception is key when it comes to dating and it helps to have a second (or third or fourth) opinion on the matter when it all seems to be getting a bit complicated.

Too shy to say it? Text it!

Sometimes, it can be hard exo communicate exactly how you feel. Putting your emotions on the line can be a scary experience, especially if you aren’t sure how the other person feels.

Texting a guy you are dating is the perfect way to convey your emotions if the thought of actually expressing yourself in real life just seems a little bit overwhelming. No matter how confident you are with men, having the option to message the person can make the situation a lot less stressful.

Of course, I fully encourage you to express yourself in real life conversations too! But it can take a certain amount of courage to say exactly how you feel and texting can take the edge off. So if you’re feeling too shy to say it, turn to your texts and see how that feels instead. I assure you, it’ll feel a lot less scary.

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Using emoji’s to flirt

My favourite emoji is definitely the kiss face. You know the one – it’s winking slightly, with a tiny little heart emerging from its mouth. That is probably my go to text if I want to flirt. I use it when I’m feeling a little bit cheeky or if I want my response to sound a little flirtatious, without overstepping the mark. And the best thing about it? It’s an emoji. It can’t be taken too seriously. It inserts a fun, mischievous way of expressing yourself without going OTT.

The language of emoji is acknowledged worldwide as a perfect way to express yourself if you can’t find the right words within the English language. In the world of dating, emoji’s are perfect. They don’t give too much away. They have an essence of cheekiness behind them, when used in the right context, which means you can say pretty much anything and get away with it. They have a variety of text messages behind them, allowing you to have a little air of mystery around you. What does that wink emoji mean? Is he saying what I think he’s trying to say with that aubergine emoji, or is he just really hungry? Whatever you’re trying to convey, emoji’s can make it that little bit easier.

How has texting affected your relationships? Do you imagine it was easier to date when texting wasn’t really a thing? Do you think texting has more of a negative effect on dating, or do you agree with the positives? Let us know in the comments – we would absolutely love to know your thoughts and personal experiences!

Lauren works as a professional writer and freelances in her spare time. She has spent a lot of time working and living in Asia and she is always keen for an adventure.

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