single on valentines day

Even if you are simply going grocery shopping, you can’t escape Valentine’s Day. It’s everywhere! Teddy bears, heart shaped chocolate boxes, cards. It gets overwhelming when you’re single and you just want to run for the exits. Being bombarded with Valentine’s Day stuff is a part of life, and when you are single you do have to grin and bear it, even if you feel like giving that aisle the finger.

Valentine’s Day is just like any other day in a year, right? Normally, I didn’t think much about Valentine’s Day. Back in my relationships in the past, I would just go and pick up a box of chocolates, order roses online to surprise my honey at work, or write a thoughtful and heartfelt Valentine’s Day card for her. That was a while ago, when I was in love or in a relationship. Now it’s different. I couldn’t help but think to myself, “Why is this day affecting me, why am I feeling depressed and isolated, and why do I feel this way? It’s starting to piss me off!” Here are the reasons why I hate being single on Valentine’s Day.

Social media is shoving it in your face

When you look through social media on Valentine’s Day, it shoves public displays of affection (PDA) in your face 24/7. Maybe it triggered something in my heart and brain, like why can’t I have what that couple are experiencing now? Which, of course, is usually an attractive couple making out in the sunset; A seemingly perfect and loving relationship put on display. I was checking out my Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter feeds. It was usually the same thing for couples, which was showing off their love to the world, making out, kissing each other, riding each other, which is perfectly fine. I honestly don’t mind PDA, as long as it’s not shoved in my face 24/7. I started having thoughts such as: I have no one right now, I’m not a good relationship guy, I’m feeling lonely and isolated, I want to feel happy, have sexual desire, romantic energy, and feel fulfilled and complete.

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I really appreciate the people on social media who post things on about loving yourself, embracing yourself, and it’s honestly empowering. It also shows how thoughtful and considerate they are as people, selfless, and they truly care about other people who may be feeling a little sad, struggling, or feeling a bit down about feeling single and alone during Valentine’s Day.

You are reminded that you are single

I tend to be patient with my love life — sometimes I feel like I’m too patient. However, when Valentine’s Day approaches I start feeling uneasy, like I need to find a girlfriend quickly. It’s not easy for me, because most of my years I’ve been in some sort of relationship with women. Of course, the relationships weren’t perfect by any means looking back, but I didn’t have to feel like the lone wolf on Valentine’s Day either. So, I’m the type of guy who likes to come to terms with my wild emotions as I’m feeling them. Life isn’t always rosy, and there will be ups and downs in your life, despite of how you want to control it. Everyone’s life paths are different. Coping with reality vs. the fantasy in your head is difficult, and even though I learned from my past mistakes in my love life, I still have to face my emotions even if it doesn’t feel like I’m smooth sailing in cruise control towards the bright horizon before me.

I do believe that I love myself, and that I have a lot of love to offer if I meet somebody. The problem with this, is that after I take all of the selfies, after I spend so much time with myself, getting to know myself, what I like, what makes me tick, what then? What happens when you start getting sick of yourself, your narcissism, your reflection in the mirror, and you desire to be more selfless? You want to discover and explore other attractive women that you would consider dating in a romantic relationship.

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It  brings back memories from the past

I admit that sometimes I’m guilty of living in the past. I’ve always thought that it’s better to feel a full range of emotions, than not to feel them at all. That way, you feel a deep love in its genuine state, you feel heartbreak while you’re heartbroken. You feel happy and elated when everything feels ok. When you feel sad or down, you let yourself feel lonely, sad, down, and you don’t punish yourself for feeling this way. You feel the whole range of human emotions. Valentine’s Day can remind you of Valentine’s Days of the past when you were feeling happy, complete, feeling like you’re going somewhere in your life, or it may conjure up past memories of a deep emotional and physical connection with a past lover.

The romantic feelings take you over, and you may feel an urge to drink alcohol, do something ridiculous, or just try to numb those feelings, so that it won’t hurt so much. I would encourage you to feel the pain, if you’re feeling miserable or upset. Just feel it. Let yourself feel that range of emotions, because when things become good again in your life (and they will), you will absolutely appreciate the happiness more.

Maybe you have a past memory of Valentine’s Day, rushing exuberantly to the store to give that woman that you love wine, chocolates, a gift, and you remember what a fun time that you had when you took her out for steak that one special evening in your past. Embrace the memory, but learn from it, so that you will improve your next relationship in your elusive love life.

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It is easy to get your hopes crushed

Remember that woman that you’ve been secretly stalking on social media who you think is so gorgeous, talented, and beautiful? Maybe you were thinking of asking her out one day? You didn’t realise that she has a boyfriend! She’s posted so many beautiful and special selfies of her pretty face all year long, she sucked you in with being so special, and tugged at your heart strings! And now on Valentine’s Day she posts that photo of her and her beau. He looks so smily and happy next to her and she writes in her caption, “I’m never leaving my man! I love him with all of my heart!” So much for all of your likes and comments on her pictures! What a waste of your time! Well, a lot of other guys happened to waste their time as well, so you’re not alone in this regard.

These are the main reasons why I hate being single on Valentine’s Day. Call me cynical, tell me I’m full of it — I don’t really care. At this point, I’m glad that it’s over, and I don’t have to witness you tonguing your date in your Facebook picture.

William is a graphic designer and creative writer. One of his favourite interests is reading books about relationships. He recommends ‘How to Succeed with Women’ and Doc Love’s ‘The System’. He has two adorable children that he enjoys spending time with. William is currently single and is preparing for his next relationship. You can follow him on Twitter.

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