Why Negative Vibes Are Stopping You From Finding a Partner

Negative vibes

Science may try to explain it by saying that the brain emits “bad signals”, while certain religious dogmas will say that “we’re not in tune with the Universe”. You met a man on a Friday night or got a compliment from the cute guy who works at the cash register, but didn’t react the way you wanted to. You stopped, your mind blocked, you didn’t even send a smile, and they were put off because of your negative vibes.

We may call it an “unintentional communication of negative body language”. No, it’s not a curse, and yes – there is an explanation on why this is happening and a way out of it.

The key reason of negative vibes

The main reason of you sending negative vibes is low self-esteem. It makes us uncomfortable when around other people, especially strangers. Your mind yells “I don’t want to be here”, and your body responds accordingly by emanating negative vibes. We always convey emotions via the body, and the emotions we give off can alter other people’s mood as well. Your nervousness will make others around you nervous too, and they’ll keep their distance, both emotional and physical, to prevent that from happening. On the other hand, when someone looks happy and keeps a genuine smile, their vibes say “I am happy you’re here” and “I want to talk”.

Our self-esteem or confidence is a result of learning to know ourselves. We become more confident as we get to know ourselves better. While interacting with others, we sense and respond to their energies. It’s a subtle, unseen level of communication, but we all do it.

When we find ourselves in situations that trigger our insecurities, others can sense it. Some even “prey” on the weakness of others, due to the nature of the human ego, which may dissolve your confidence even further. In those situations, you’re either at a loss for words or you say things you don’t want to say, your voice becomes hoarse, knees weak, and you don’t want to be there.

Lack of confidence, dread, and fear cause us to vibrate at a whole other frequency, and the best way to prepare for these moments is to calm those energies, to ground them. The vibes you send on a subconscious level can be faked (or not, you can try it), but you’ll find pretending to be something you’re not pretty exhausting. The most effective and efficient way is to have genuine feelings in the first place.

6 ways to break the cycle of negativity

To make an impact on your environment, you have to be confident. However, the worse you feel about yourself, the less motivation and energy you have to do what it takes to improve your self-esteem which continues to plummet as you’re locked in a never-ending cycle of negative thoughts that have no actual basis in reality. To build your self-esteem, you need to change your behaviors and thoughts by practicing them until you feel better about yourself.

1. Exercise

Regular exercise will provide a sense of control over your vitality and health, and make you feel better mentally, physically, and emotionally. Any kind of exercise that gets your heart pumping is good, whether it’s running, lifting weights, swimming, indoor climbing, or rowing. It’s important that you like doing it and to exercise regularly.

2. Care about your appearance

It may sound silly, but we do feel better when we look our best, especially women. When we find ourselves beautiful and attractive, we project an outward image of self-esteem even if we don’t feel that way. However, our feelings catch up when we act “as if” we are confident.

3. Change your location

Spend more time outside of your house, work from another location, or go on a trip. It will boost your motivation and energy. Are you living somewhere that doesn’t reflect your ideal lifestyle and values? Consider moving into a city or community that makes you feel comfortable.

4. Deal with the past

Do you feel trapped due to traumas and past issues? You should heal those past wounds by seeking professional counseling services. If you’ve wronged someone, make it right by apologising and asking for forgiveness, and stop living with shame or guilt. Stop allowing yourself to be the victim because you’re responsible for your decision to still dwell on the past. Write down positive statements about yourself in an affirmation journal, and repeat it every day.

5. Nurture your relationships

Let go of energy-draining people who take advantage of you and put you down. Surround yourself with people who value you. Receive and offer affection from friends and family through physical touch, which reduces anxiety, improves mood, and supports bonding between people. Focus your attention, time, and love on the people you care about.

6. Step outside of your comfort zone

Find a way to stretch your mind and get outside your comfort zone. Approach situations in different, unconventional ways, meet different people, and try new things. Be creative, because creativity puts you in a state in which you’re intently engaged in your doings, stimulating the brain. Challenge your beliefs whenever you find yourself thinking negatively, and find out why your limiting beliefs may be untrue. Determine new values around which you want your life to be centered.

Get ready for a new relationship

Once you notice a positive change in your self-esteem, attitude, and vibe – it will also be noticeable on the outside. Even physical changes can be striking, such as a change in hairstyle, dress code, and perfume, as well as the places and social circles you visit. Suddenly, life becomes much lighter and simpler when you stop making mountains out of molehills, and beating yourself up over dull mistakes. With more inner stability and less self-sabotage, you won’t be your worst enemy, your opinion of yourself will go up, and you’ll pursue good things more often and with more motivation.

Negative vibes should disappear for your social communication to get better, and you’ll see how it feels when your energy starts to draw people to you. Finding the right partner for you then won’t be an impossible mission, and you’ll become more of a natural giver and less needy. Less drama, fights, and arguments based on thin air will make every relationship better.

Stop sending negative vibes, and start working on that right now. All that this requires is a change in your mindset, a change in the way you think and perceive yourself. Don’t worry about what other people think of you, or else you’ll never feel free to be yourself. Make choices based on what you want, not what you think other people want from you.

Isabel is Body & Mind Balance Consultant. She is a lover of literature and philosophy, every day runner, and Tai Chi master. Believing that to travel sometimes is just enough to enjoy a really good book, smooth jazz and a cup of coffee.


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